This appeared in the Asian Age yesterday....
Dekho Bhai, we have to feel a little sorry for Narendra Modi. He is rustic and rough in speech and action. What’s the point teaching him good manners? Preaching and lecturing? Here’s a guy who has made a career out of giving offence. So, he slyly referred to Sunanda Tharoor ( as ripe and luscious as a Kashmiri peach!) in what Bollywood would aptly describe as a ‘ghatiya’ way. Modi took pot shots at the equally peachy Shashi by putting a price tag on the ‘priceless’ lady ( from Peach to Kohinoor). That was a really low blow. Come on – 50 crores? That just about covers a few blow dry sessions at a good hair salon, plus, a spa treat at Ananda in the Himalayas. Modi is a Gujjubhai. He understands the value of money. How could he have said ‘50 crores’? That is so insulting! What is 50 crores in today’s day and age? Chillar! Small change! Pocket money for Babalog. Unless …. and this is a big one – Modi was being seriously wicked. He could have said 500 crores. Or 5,000 crores. Those are respectable numbers. But by specifying 50 crores, Modi was definitely making a point. Modi is like that, only! Sab kuch undervalue karta hai. We should not take this naughty remark seriously. In fact, we shouldn’t take anything Modi says too seriously. This is Narendrabhai’s ishstyle. He has not been to posh schools and colleges. He has not hinted he had been offered the U.N. Secretarry General’s post. Modi thinks crude, talks crude. His followers love that about him. Contrast his comments with the wry, witty, polished comeback of Sunanda’s besotted husband. Now, why Love Guru Shashi bothered to take notice of Modi’s sexist remark is anybody’s guess. But his riposte only made things worse. Hell hath no fury like a loyal hubby scorned, it appears. And by rushing to defend Sunanda’s honour, our newly minted Ministerji, compounded the original sin. The Luscious Lady herself, was seen across channels pouting sexily and asking why we are shocked by Modi’s lowdown behaviour, when he has killed so many Muslims in Gujarat and not apologized. It is a bit hard to make the connection… but what the hell. Sunanda is so pretty. We would rather watch her on tv strenuously making a point about the apology that never came than any of the other toads croaking away about corruption.
Modi is a seasoned headlines grabber. His latest comment was carefully timed to embarrass the Congress, now that the gloves are officially off. By targeting Sunanda, he killed two birds with one pathar. He diverted national attention from the sordid Gadkari saga. And he showed his own partywallas who has more guts when it comes to hitting below the belt. While the portly Gadkari huffed and puffed his way through assorted rallies, Modi sat tight and let hirelings take the Pushkar story forward over Twitter. The verdict was out instantly. While women’s organizations rallied behind poor Pushkar ( who, in her own words, had also been touched inappropriately and had various body parts bruised in Tiruvananthpuram) most of Shashi’s admirers ( he has several) were of the opinion the man should have stayed out of this round. But who’s to tell Shashi? Twitter nearly killed his career earlier. But the man is an addict! His Tweets are priceless. Only Priyanka Chopra boasts of more followers. And that’s a feat. Phir bhi, Shashi’s upper cut could not possibly have dented Modi’s aggressive charge. Jo kehena tha, who kehey diya. The damage was done.
About the 50 crore price tag. Well… I did ask around. And the swish ladies I spoke to laughed out loud. That’s peanuts, they scoffed.And added, no beautiful woman in her right mind would settle for something as alarmingly low, given our inflationary times. So…. Was it just the modest number that was the issue here? Ummmm – yes, it was the primary issue, but not the only one. Many chingoos hubbies call their wives ‘priceless’ when they don’t want to splurge real bucks on them. Most smart wives see through the trick – and demand cash! Priceless is no compliment, they insist. They’d rather see real money. This complicates matters further. What’s a pampered wife supposed to say or do if the mad-for- her husband tries to fob her off with a denomination-free ‘priceless’ tag? Say, ‘Thank you ji’ and go back to her Karwa Chauth? Or consult a canny lawyer? We live in tough times. Us girls need to be practical. No point in getting hoity-toity. 50 crores is 50 crores. Maybe Modi has unwittingly triggered a mini-revolt! What if every girl friend of a politician now starts demanding a deposit of 50 crores in her bank account? Tauba! Tauba! Given the staggering number of politicians with GFs, one can safely say, Kejriwal and company have a lot of hard work ahead!