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Attn: Meenal, Jaideep, Sudipta Mumbai Mirror 19th Feb 2015
Toast the Roast! And
do “Shut up”, everyone!
Aamir Khan is a cool customer. He says what
he has to, and then retreats. The wars carry on, but Aamir stays out of the
battlefield. When imported Comic Russell Peters asked India’s most well known
‘thinking actor’ to “shut up”, Bollywood was stunned! Nobody asks Aamir to shut
up…. nobody! And who the hell was this Peters chap anyway to have the audacity
to publicly insult one of our icons? This was one set of outraged reactions.
The other lot gloated and crowed, “About time someone told Aamir where to get
off.”
Amazing what a Roast can trigger off !
Now
here’s the really funny part. So many people one has met after the Youtube
video went viral, have zero idea what a ‘Roast’ really means. Quite a few assumed it was a dinner party
featuring grilled food. Which made me wonder if, in its “new, improved’ avatar
( assuming there will be one soon), those clever boys at AIB (provided they
aren’t thrown into prison ), will rename
their immensely popular event “Tandoori
Nights” – not only will more people get the meaning, but it will sound less
derivative, too. Participating in a live grilling requires guts and an uber
cool quotient to go with the spirit of the show. If you lack these essentials,
stay away – from watching or being a part of it. There is no hidden agenda here
–
aggressively breaking moulds and
mocking establishment mores , are the stated objectives.Of course, offence is
given! That is the whole point! The script is vetted by participants, and yes,
some of the more risqué jokes are designed to shock and awe. So what?
So what???? A lot! Going by the
holier-than-thou reactions still raging. Cases have been filed. There
have been several public outbursts. Hostility, rage, accusations, hysteria.
My question is: Is this backlash genuine… or manufactured? Politically
motivated or spontaneous? Going by the well orchestrated campaign against AIB,
I’d say there is an organized attempt to scuttle something that can capture the
public’s imagination and grow into a powerful entertainment property. Sounds
like plain , old jealousy to me. Which is a pity. There is space for Roasting
in a country that prides itself on its sanctimonious, self-righteous, pious
‘values’ , but in reality, demonstrates exactly the reverse. We insult our
women routinely – and nobody finds that offensive? We discriminate blatantly
against the LGBT community. And that’s okay? Our top stars endorse fairness
creams – no problems with that? We burn churches, stone temples, raze mosques,
but refuse to apologise for our violence. Violence against people we don’t
accept, approve of, understand.
And
Aamir Khan found the Roast ‘violent’ ?
Aamir is a highly privileged VVIP in India. Those AIB
guys are not! If someone decides to go after them, there isn’t much they can do
to defend themselves. Their budding careers can go for a toss, and chances of
getting gigs in future are pretty remote. Is this a fair war? Every interest
group is jumping on the AIB band wagon and demanding apologies. Apparently,
there is hardly anybody left in the country who hasn’t been “offended’ – from
forgotten character actors to religious leaders.
What a fantastic coup for AIB! Overnight, a
brand is born. Never mind the inbuilt
threats to its existence, going forward. It’s a brand that has the power
to influence mind sets across the board, and if correctly leveraged, it can
also impact entertainment policy. How far is ‘too far’ is something only a
society can decide – not moral commissioners sitting in judgment and condemning
anything and everything that does not conform to their personal thinking. These
very people could be considered deeply offensive by their targets – who knows
what they actually stand for, other than tyranny?
There has been a pretty energetic attempt
to create ghettos of ‘Liberals” and
isolate them. Almost as if these ‘culprits’ belong to a new class of social
pariahs who are ‘bad for society’. But what about the lives and ‘values’ of
those persecuting the AIB ? What if their ‘bhandas’ get broken? Or is that the actual
problem? Are they really concerned about the delicate sensitivities of the
public at large… or worried about their own skins?
Often, I hear absurd and patronizing
arguments about “Indian society not
being mature enough” to understand humour! Really? Who decides? AIB folks are soft targets. If their critics have
such a socially developed conscience, they should go after the real villains in
our midst – rapists, sadists, and all those Godmen and Godwomen, maulanas
and religious fanatics who use vile
language and abuse everybody. Go on… prosecute them, too!
Will anyone dare? You bet not!
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Attn: vandana, neelam Politically Incorrect 14th Feb 2015
From Baap ka Raj to Aap
ki Seva…
My short trip to Delhi couldn’t have been
better timed. This was exactly a day after the dramatic election results that
astonished everybody – Arvind Kejriwal included. The old school Dilliwallas I
met were in a state of shock. Frozen. They weren’t thinking about Arvind
Kejriwal – they were thinking about themselves. Suddenly, the heady, giddy
fifteen year old hedonistic party was over. It was abruptly aborted, and bar
was declared shut! There was no time for a last minute ‘chhota’ or even a decent hangover. And people were
holding their heads in utter disbelief, wondering what had hit them. Those I
spoke to, were candid enough to admit their personal and professional lives
were shaken and stirred like never before. Nothing was going to be the same
again, they lamented. Making me wonder what exactly they were talking about. A
swash- buckling tycoon sighed,“ We were just about coming to terms with
Narendra Modi’s style of functioning…. that wasn’t too worrying. He is new to
the Delhi game, but a few of his trusted aides are old foxes. We had dubbed
this the UPA -3 sarkar – the worst aspects of
NDA and UPA combined went into the formation of this motley bunch. They look tough and different from the
outside, but are essentially cut from the same cloth. Cracking their code would
have been a cake walk. But with Kejriwal on the scene – the dynamics of power
have changed. Nobody knows how to handle this topsy- turvy new lot.”
Unknowingly, the man had hit the nail on the
head.
Overnight, it’s the person on the street
calling the shots. Yes, the very person who had been treated like dirt for
decades. Taken for granted. Ignored. Delhi is not used to dealing with the
common man on equal terms. Uncomfortable with those viewed as the unwashed
masses, the Capital’s “koi hai” crowd is totally unhinged and unsure how to
react to altered dynamics. First, a
Chaiwalla turned up and made it to the top job as India’s Prime Minister when
nobody was looking. And now a Jhaaduwalla is the Chief Minister of Delhi!Really! This
was too bloody much! So damn unsettling! Even the bearers in the Gymkhana were
acting cheeky these days!
So, what does the ‘other’ Delhi want? What
does the ‘real’ Delhi expect from Arvind and AAP? Actually, it’s pretty simple
stuff. The requirements aren’t unrealistic, nor are they all that lofty. The
people of Delhi want basics. Period. Just basics. Like people elsewhere in
India or the world. And honestly speaking, they don’t really care about the
price tag on Narendra Modi’s comical suit. They want roti kapda makaan. That’s
it. Had the BJP focused on these three essentials, perhaps, they would not have suffered such a humiliating double loss.
The Congress, of course, can safely go back to twiddling its thumbs for the
next 20 years – it’s something they are very good at, even when they are in
power.
For Arvind to retain the faith in him and
his party, he has to do far more than make hard-to-deliver promises. When he
announces fantastic sounding schemes or says he is going to take on corruption
on a war footing, people have to believe he will actually succeed… and succeed
quickly. A corruption hotline, seems
like a good place to start. But how practical is it? Given the staggering
extent of corruption, the hotline itself may crash! Introducing the Lokpal Bill
or demanding Statehood for Delhi are
trickier issues. The trouble with a mandate like this, is that voters expect
miracles. Arvind has a jhaadu in his hand, not a magic wand. His stated
objectives are all praise worthy, but, as everybody knows, getting anything
done in India, requires more than just honesty of purpose. A 70 point agenda
sounds impressive. But hey – how come there are no women in the cabinet so far?
Arvind’s aggressive anti-corruption campaign will be
stalled at all levels, not just by the entrenched interest groups in Delhi. His
win has shaken the entire political system ,well beyond the City of Djinns. Nervous Chief Ministers across India
are watching Arvind closely, worried about their own fates and skins. If this
can happen in the country’s Capital, it can happen anywhere. This is the real
triumph of the Delhi election. More than the victory of Arvind and AAP (“
Janata ka CM hoon”, he sweetly dimples) it has been a stupendous victory of the
people. Sick of the government’s ‘ I am your Baap!” attitude, it is now time
for AAP – a party of regular folks, representing regular aspirations. All they
want is an improvement in the miserable quality of their lives. They pay taxes.
They underwrite the running of the State. They are in a position to demand they
get what they are paying for. It is their money that has been systematically
looted.
Payback time is here.
Is Arvind the man who can do that?
Nobody knows for sure. But he certainly has
the rest of the country rooting for him right now.
From nightly whiskey-sodas to all day cough syrup, Delhi is slowly coming to terms
with politics, Arvind-ishtyle! Cheers,
everybody!
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