Monday, March 23, 2009

A Ferragamo handbag for Mayawati...

Blogdosts, this appeared in HT yesterday..

Why Maya can never be a ‘Memsaab’…

Let’s face it – Mayawati drives us mad. Us??? Who’s ‘Us’? Oh…. us is us! People who count. Thought leaders. Opinion makers. Bull shitters. People still living in some la la land, imagining we are important. Get real, guys. Before you can say ‘Kanshi Ram’, Mayawati will be on that kursi in Dilli. The same one her foes are determined to keep her ample backside away from. And if perchance Mayawati’s derriere does occupy the gaddi, God help those foes. Mayawati will whack their butts with that handbag of hers, whip their asses, and then the asli fun will start. Why does Mayawati bug us so much?? Is it her appearance? Come on , there are worse looking women in politics. Is it her coarse tongue? Her crude language? Or is it something else? Something entirely silly and superficial? Do we despise her because Mayawati is a social embarrassment?Is that why the chattering classes recoil and exclaim –“ She cannot possibly become India’s prime minister!! My goodness… can you imagine her wining and dining Sarko and Carla?? Or meeting and greeting Gordon Brown? Even worse – what will Michelle think of those arms??”
Sounds ridiculous, right? But isn’t there some truth embedded in it? Mayawati makes us cringe, because we can’t handle her rustic personality. Her lack of sophistication. The total absence of refinement…. Oof! Nobody would want someone with that profile in their living rooms…. what of the social barometre? Their ratings on the party circuit? What if she slurped tea from a saucer? Or dunked double roti and biscut into the brew?? Forget wine-shine, cheese-weese, what on earth does one serve her?? How about grilled critics??? Conversation?? Don’t make us laugh…
Sounds horrible. But scratch the surface, and that’s the sort of stuff you’ll get. Nothing to do with ideology. It’s not about Dalits. It’s not even about gender. It has to do with class. Not caste. Which is precisely the reason why the chattering classes may end up with lots of egg on their faces. The next elections are unambiguously about caste. Deal with it. Class does not enter the picture. And when it comes to cashing in on caste, Mayawati’s trajectory is hard to match. She gets it. She has always got it. She knows her USP. And she knows just how to address her constituency – the words, the language, the appearance. That is her. Corruption is a non- issue in these polls. Is there even a single politician who can claim to be clean - and prove it?? So, holding Mayawati up as the Queen of Corruption will hardly dent her chances. Nor will pointing out the many charges against her – there are no saints in the line up. In a scenario of ‘‘Hum Sab Chor Hain,” Mayawati merges in seamlessly. Nobody minds. Nobody can! Sleeping with the enemy? Forging perverse alliances? Ditto. Then why does everybody hate her so much? How is Mayawati any worse than the others in the race – Pawar? Chandrababu?Gowda? Or the other ‘teen deviyan’ – Mamata, Jayalalithaa and Sonia??Will she sell India down the drain? No more than the rest.But that is not the concern of drawing room analysts, is it? What we want to know is will she change that awful handbag to a Ferragamo? Will she hire Abu-Sandeep or Manish Malhotra to redesign that dreadful wardrobe? Discard Poylester? Switch to Chikankaari ? Will Jimmy Choo replace her rexine sandals? Even if she cannot smell of roses, could someone please present her with a flacon of Chanel? And would Mickey Contractor with his M.A.C. team kindly volunteer their services and give the lady a make over?This is the age of designer politicians. Alas, with all the efforts in the world, Maya can never become a ‘Memsaab ’ (that is both, her curse and redemption). But she could become the P.M. Drown yourselves in Dom, guys.

32 comments:

hitch writer said...

did read it yesterday and mailed to you too bout it...

await your response...

hitch writer said...

also posted bout it on my page : http://hitchwriter.blogspot.com

mudita said...

What a contrast! Carla is being castigated in France for her refined tastes in clothes and the luxuries of life.French by the way happen to be people used to the best.And a poor country like India is ashamed at the prospect of having a PM like Ms.Mayawati all 'coz of her desi tastes!!

hitch writer said...

No we are not ashamed at Mayawati becoming PM coz of her class, etiquettes or mannerisms....

If she wants to be PM, we invite her to win the elections and become PM.

But she will become PM by arm twisting and making a mockery of the elections and democracy...

Let her win by votes and not by coalition daavpench !!

athi said...

nice one... totally agree wid u de. y cnt ppl b a bit bodered bot deir apearances? esp wen u r being pried by thousands?
'dressing up' is rly part of who u r inside.. its defintely not being extravagant. and sayin dat u r casual bot it is not pardonable. It k to be casual bt not unkempt esp wen u hold a position of such stature.

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

If winner - Lalu Jee - The PM ?

Nandini said...

I believe that with vanity comes a sense of responsibility, a sense of command over the finer aspects of life. If we dismiss that ideology as being superficial, we will lose our sanity over what would normally be considered as beautiful. And beautiful would also mean children, nature, art, music, women, & everything that we would want to perceive as being beautiful. And beautiful things are always protected, because a thing of beauty is a joy forever.
I was told I am beautiful, & so I am vain. It's established a sense of harmony in & around me, as opposed to the brashness adopted by Miss Mayawati.
Has anyone told her that she could afford to be vain? Maybe things would have been different.
It's not about class, caste, or social progression, but about assurance. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had a Sonia Gandhi up there..

Another Kiran In NYC said...

Nishaane pe teer laga. Nailed the bullseye!

I am glad you said what a lot of people just think.

For the chatterati this election is about class, for the rest it is about Caste. The great unwashed masses definately outnumber the chatterati.

In the final analysis the unwashed masses will not care about the rexine chappals, but the sops she doles out. She sure doles them out well.

I will care about the rexine chappals but when she is making the laws about my taxes, I will be asking her to come to tea anyway, complete with her rexine chappals and handbags. I might even get a photo taken with her and finally I will get to be on Page 3!

dipti said...

BOSS! you are so spot on. And some of the comments are (unintentionally) hilarious too.

Sidhusaaheb said...

Could it be that after having two successive prime ministers i.e. Atal Behari Vajpayee and Manmohan Singh, who, irrespective of the presence or absence of any other qualities, have had great personal integrity, at least some people may have come to expect that of whoever is to be the next prime minister?

Mayawati, of course, is some one who, as a matter of record, has built up the greater part of her fortune with the help of 'gifts' (That is the version she is supposed to have given the income tax department, at least!).

It is entirely possible though that the class of people you have written about may not like Mayawati to be head of government on account of the reasons you have mentioned. I wouldn't know, since I am not a part of that demographic.

muthu said...

rightly put...

politics may all be about the dirty things you do, but still people love to see the same dirty things done with a bit of refinement and velvet gloves......

rather an oxymoron....

Shatrughan Singh said...

The situation is more difficult for us voters. Who we can choose to lead us then? There is not even one ANDHOH MEIN KANA RAJA who we can rely on or count on. We literally need someone like Bhagat Singh to lead us in today's time. He was young with hot blood, intelligent, very clear about what he wants and how, aggressive, brave and not to mention very deshi in his appearance. Yesterday was 23rd March, the day when he was hanged with his two friends, but I did not see a single person remembering him. There are plenty of news channels, but no one gave even 1 minute to such a great fighter. In fact, they could not remember him coz they were so busy to mention what drama is going on in bollywood and indian politics. Disheartening.

introspection said...

I am here via 'Blog A Penguin Classic' blog. First time here, and I am glad I came. Got the usual feed of typical shobhaade read.
As far as Mayawati's candidature for PM is concerned, I wonder if it's only about her class (or lack of it) May be it is some thing totally different. May be it is even about the 'US' that you described. She has enough advisers to tell her what she needs to do with her get up if she stands alongside of Michelle. Specially after having adorned the CM's chair (or gaddi, if you will. May be this is her deliberate style. Remember it's not 'US' who actually go out and vote (btw, do you?) It's them - her proteges, caste people and the rest of our rural India that votes. So she is probably catering to them. Whether it pays off has to be seen; as we are kinda entering a transition phase in our political scenario too. On the one hand we have the Sachin Pilots, the Omer Abdullas, the Aditya Raje Scindias, Rahul Gandhis, etc as the gen next smart, sauve politicians who are raring to go. Then we have movements like 'citizens for change' and similar such elitist forums. Of course the Veterans like Pawars, Chavans, Thakerays, Kalmadis are all players that are adapting to changes. It's one of those political scenes where anything can tilt the scales.

Whether it is for the sake of change or in view of Michelle's company I do hope and wish that Bahenji transforms herself into a beautiful swan even if it takes Louis Vitton hand bags, Channel/5th Avenue, Manolo Blahnik/jimmy choo and our own Abu-Sandeep/M Malhotra to do the trick. Sheila Dixit can be the role model. Whatever it takes...!

Great post. Will be back for more.
my blog: http://innergodliness.blogspot.com

Pls visit.

Digistrom said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one!

Rajesh said...

does looks and class matter so much??? in that case we cld have stayed back with the good old maharajas....... if behenji is capable of giving a good governance.. bad garb doesn't matter... we all know what Gandhiji achieved against the well attired British....

D said...

If we could have Deve Gowda for PM, Mayawati can't be so bad!

But come and live in Lucknow for a month and you'll know why we - we "people who count. Thought leaders. Opinion makers. Bull shitters. People still living in some la la land, imagining we are important" - think she's so unfit to be the PM.

Her 4 metre dupatta that she chokes herself with, her LV-inscribed bag and her blingy birthdays are not even half the reason why we hate her so.

Bindu Nayar said...

I dont know who defines " CLASS " really

The maximum no of LV/Gucci sales probably happens in China..who pronounce it as Rui Vooton..no kiddin....so i dunno whats class really..

She needs to have guts to reform and to stand up to all these comedians in Indian politics....who cares what Michelle/Carla or anybody else thinks..

Nikita said...

Ah! you touched the nerve somewhere. She would be a national embarresment. I was born in '83, hence did not have the privilege to see Mrs. Indira Gandhi as Prime Minister. Despite the emergency, I am sure she was a delight to look at and the pride of any Indian when she represented India globally.

Nikita said...

I sometimes wonder at our local dalit leaders' logic that a Dalit PM should be India's answer to a black PM in US. Has it ever crossed their minds that Obama is not just black, he also has very impressive credentials, with a Harvard education et al. What are the credentials of Ms Mayawati?

Nikita said...

I meant to say, black President* in US. Geez! silly me :)

Subhajit said...

First of all, if we will evaluate her credibility in terms of vote bank, yes she has a big chunk of MPs. But when it comes to third front, she knows it very well that third front can hardly manage 100 odd seats. In this case all she can do is to support UPA or NDA. Then also she has slim chances of becoming PM as many super senior citizens are in the queue. Personally, I would deliberately forget our PM's name if she anyhow manages to be the PM! And Ma'm, she needs atleast 1 year before she can look like a PM. Imagine her with Michelle or Hillary.

As far as Chandrababu & Sonia is concerned, they have already mentioned they do not have any such ambitions (they have reasons ;). Mamata is simply nowhere in the picture, same is for Jayalalitha. Gowda is past. Only Sharad Pawar is expressing his interests but that will have no impact.

It seems Mr. Singh is again coming back and again we have to hear from him "Soniya Jee se poochna padega".

Theyoginme said...

The dirty game of politics in India needs to change, and change will be generational, but it has to start with the younger generation, business and educated class taking some risks and start competing with some of these currupt scums, and not become part of their "class". Don't support the scums and don't complain about them but vote for them at the same time. Acceptance of corruption as a way of life is hurting India. Change and the world will change around you!!!

Atul said...

BULLSHIT TOPIC....I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR SHOBHA DE...I THOUGHT U WERE AN INTELLIGENT LADY...BUT U R ALSO A HIGH CLASS CARTOON...KITTY PARTY GOING TYPES WITH NO BRAINS....IN FACT U HAVE TO ADMIT THAT SOMEWHERE INSIDE U SO CALLED UPPER CASTE EGOISTIC PPL ARE SCARED OF DALIT COMING INTO POWER...BCOS THIS TOUGH LADY CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF U FOR ALL THE SINS U VE DONE BY FOLLOWING CASTEISM...NO MATTER HOW MUCH U DENY...BUT U STILL R CASTEIST BASTARDS SOMEWHR DEEP INSIDE....SHAME ON U...

money said...

If Varun Gandhi will file his nomination from Congress Party, and not from BJP so this thing will not happen to him, what is going on now. Varun Gandhi has done all this by mistake and this is the first time made any unusual statement against Muslims. Beause it was his first mistake, so he would give only warning not send to prison. It is the dirty politics that is going on against Varun Gandhi. Mayawati is very pathetic woman. She is doing very dirty politics against Varun Gandhi. I pray to god that she will go to hell. She is very Pathetic Woman.

Em said...

I'll agree with Atul on his brave take on this blog. At the end of the day, the bitch(Shobhaa) and all the other morons supporting her blog, want to have a sophisticated person as India PM but wake up guys, times are changing. Get out of the comfort zones and get rid of the silver spoons in your mouth, with which you were born. Face the reality, if the PM is from ground level, you want his/her looks to match Carla and Michelle. Kanshi Ram dreamed about Dalit reigning over the country and anyways the country is being driven towards the shithole, why not a Dalit? You hypocrites can't take it. The U.N. forum is being pushed by European nations to declate India as Racist country but India is defending its stand by saying its Casteism not Racism. Apparently the world will know about the two-face bastards you are!
JAI BHEEM!

Subhajit said...

Dear Atul & EM...

Guys get some life. If you do not have any other work, then go & play kabaddi...dont show your face here. You don't belong to this forum.

maha said...

nice blog...

Work from home India

Neha said...

Mr Atul and EM
& dearest shobha aunty

A 10 year old can see whats happening in this forum..just logged on to conduct some research on all the corruption tat Ms mayawati aka "shame on the untouchable family which is an integral part of our nation"..and i came across this blog..no wonder our country is home to politicians of such a corrupt and extreme nature..specially when this is how apparently the opinion leaders of our country think..
a. this is the most stupid blog i ve come across which instead of addressing the real threat tat mayawati poses to our country, constitution and democracy..talks about how classless she is..no offense madam but seriously screw tat..thank god we dont have a pm who spends half their fortune on plastic surgeries and looking good..but at the same time..screw those too who feel tat mayawati in anyway is working for the upliftment of dalits..she is creating a germany out of india..where instead of progressing towards being a unified country..she and people like her are trying to encourage the divide..leading to wat..hatered between dalits and the rest of the you..why did she waste 2000crores of taxpayers money in building statues of herself right next to the man who truly lived and died for the cause of removing caste discrimination(Ambedkar)..no matter how many diamonds or plastic surgeries make mayawati presentable as per Dee aunty's standards but they surely wud not be noble enuff to lead our country to progress..

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DOORSTEPLUXURY said...

Ferragamo handbag for Mayawati.oh this is great think but dear friends mayawati always ping colour hand bag.

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