Saturday, August 29, 2009

BJP.... R.I.P???

I swear.... no more on this subject. BJP-RIP. Jai Hind!

This appeared in the Asian Age\Deccan Chronicle today.....

Humpty Dumpty had a big fall….

It is amazing how the aam aadmi has responded to the BJP- bombshell – indifferently and with a sense of sardonic amusement. If anything ,there has been a show of healthy irreverence, especially after Arun Shourie’s fiery outburst across countless tv channels. A couple of wicked observations at this point - Jaswant hogged more media time than poor SRK. Most channels switched scheduled stories and panel discussions from the SRK imbroglio in Newark to the ‘Jassu Jaise Koi Nahi’ royal scandale heating up across India. Jassu himself outdid top Bollywood stars who rush from one tv studio to the next before the launch of their latest blockbuster. Jaswant, at one point was everywhere…..simultaneously….like a Jack-in-the-box. He had his quotes and expressions perfectly worked out and he cleverly made sure not to repeat himself. Oh…. And the voice sounded better than Amitabh’s – could that have something to do with the magic potion laced with opium that he offers to his ‘subjects’ ? About Shourie – what can I say?? Those of us who remember Shourie as the firebrand editor of ‘The Indian Express’, were not surprised by his impeccable timing and the provocative choice of words. Sadly, there is a generation of ‘Twitter’ type people out there who have never heard of Arun Shourie!! Shocking! I was amazed by their ignorance, till I realized their sense of history stops at 2005. If one mentions the ‘Emergency’, they immediately associate it with a misplaced SIM card. And here I am not talking about uneducated, ignorant creeps but urban careerists – though, in real terms they may qualify as urban illiterates. I received hilarious responses when I wrote about the Jinnah-Jassu controversy on my blog, and quoted Shourie’s Humpty Dumpty remark. Said someone naughtily, “ Nothing new – that’s what politics is all about – humping and dumping!” I cracked up reading that comment. And then went on to the next one that stated solemnly , “ Shall we observe a two minute silence for the demise of the BJP?”
Such is the state of public opinion, it no longer matters who is getting thrown out of which party and why. The game of musical chairs carries on… and on… it’s Jaswant today, it should have been L.K. Advani yesterday, and it could be Rajnath tomorrow. Jaswant won from Darjeeling ( where’s the bloody connection?). He is currently being wooed by the Samajwadi party, and could join the Congress soon. Is anybody outraged?? Hell, no. It’s business and politics as usual! The happiest folks right now are Jaswant’s publishers – a fairly boring book is selling like hotcakes. The only interesting portion in the uninspiring tome does not exceed beyond a few paragraphs. And even those are turgid. He has said nothing startling or new that hasn’t been said before ( and better!) by others. By expelling him like one expels a naughty school boy for not doing his homework on time, the BJP has devalued whatever little equity was left, post-elections and the resounding defeat at the polls. By banning the book in Gujarat, Narendra Modi has further pumped up the sales. As we all know, the dry state of Gujarat is possibly the ‘wettest’ state in India – by banning alcohol, Modi has created countless closet-drunks who can’t get enough of the forbidden booze! Go to any of the fancy homes in Ahemedabad and the host is bound to sidle whispering, “ Drink?? Don’t worry… my bar is full.” So it is with the book. More copies got sold because of the ban and now it has become fashionable to flash it at visitors without reading the damn thing.
What next?? Well… with so many rats abandoning the sinking ship, it is getting increasingly difficult to figure out who’s in and who’s not. Age issues have raised new problems. New blood, say some. While the oldie goldies refuse to budge from the gaddi. Is it at all possible to clone Rahul Gandhi??War has been declared, but against whom? If the ‘bad guy’ is Advani, hey, come on, he’s the same guy who went to Pakistan and praised everybody not so long ago. The world didn’t collapse then! It is also being speculated that Manmohan Singh may be up for Pakistan’s highest civilian award soon. So?? Will the sky fall down if he accepts it? Jaswant’s book is being lapped up across the border, and his promotional tour there will undoubtedly be a huge success. The only person who could upstage him at this point is Sallu Bhai and his IPL dhamaka. Imagine, Jaswant even managed to outshine the Imran Khan-Benazir Bhutto love chakkar, which would otherwise have kept the chattering classes fully occupied on both sides of the border. But then again, one has to remember the attention span of the chattering classes these days. For most, Imran and Benazir are two has- beens with no relevance to their lives. Tell them that Shahid Kapoor is about to marry Piggy Chops, and there will be instant excitement. It boils down to the same blight that is destroying the BJP – youth issues.
There are things in life that politicians believe can be easily fixed ( “ throw out the bugger and all will be well again”), and some that simply can’t – youth icons are impossible to ‘manufacture’ overnight, especially in a party where the average age is over 70. Today’s voter regards veterans as Ancient Mariners - dodderingly old creatures who should be preserved as fossils in a museum, if that. Cruel, but true. In such a scenario, nobody cares whether the BJP commits hara-kiri, self- destructs or disappears without a trace. Even the Jaswant saga is a two day carnival – and largely because the media has played up the story and carried every sigh and groan. I’m pretty sure Jaswant is loving his current stardom – who wouldn’t? Here is a guy who’d been written off and his position diminished by party bosses who did not like his attitude ( and angrez accent?). He may have stuck it out for 30 years with the same parivar, but it was never the best or most compatible of relationships. Now that the divorce is official, it remains to be seen which new bed partner Jaswant takes up. As of now, he is playing the ‘single and ready to mingle’ game. It’s a good move and signals his availability. He claims he enjoys his independent status, and why not believe him? There’s nothing quite as liberating as getting out of a bad marriage. Jaswant has done just that. But bachke rehna, Sirji…idea achcha hai…. however you need to watch out for the kaminey in our midst.

25 comments:

kala said...

This is what I expected from you. Highly relevant and highly amusing. Jassu is singing like a canary and spilling beans like an expert. The cash for votes is scripted by Sudheendra Kulkarni and directed by Advani. So all that drama is for the benefit of the chattering classes and gullible voters. Amar Singh is shedding real and crocodile tears at the same time. Nothing can put him down, even a kidney transplant. I know Arun Shourie is a highly accomplished editor and a purist. But he is with the wrong people. Once again he can go back to Indian Express and make it more readable. And who can forget emergency? Was not JP equally responsible by asking the police and armed forces to revolt?

kala said...

Let the Pakistanis enjoy the drama across the border for a change and let all our great leaders go and receive honours at Islamabad for their contributions. The BJP drama is turning out to give stiff competition to QGM. Bhagwat looked like rounder version of Advani with the typical walrus decoration.

cmpershad said...

Public memory is very short. All this tamasha will end like the one of rath yatra. It is the service to AAM ADMI which will be remembered. And we see around us that the only thing leaders are doing is exploiting the sentiments of aam admi and enjoying the aam for their generations.

parwatisingari said...

you are right finally the limelight moved from my name is Khan to singh is king. Jokes apart this is my take on it.
http://naagarika-parwatisingari.blogspot.com/
http://parwati-singari.sulekha.com/blog/post/2009/08/what-ails-bjp.htm others take on the same topic. comments are most welcome.

ladugopal said...

I comprehend it’s too early to say “demise of BJP’. We are witnessed that suddenly some bizarre issue arises in the political arena and parties get vote and popularity. Same thing transpires with BJP when babari mosque issue came BJP suddenly augmented their vote bank. Such a politicking issues are not new for us. Pseudo nationalist are rapidly mushrooming in our country with pompous proclivity. Such a less veritable more apocryphal politicians have no ground base among people and they comprehend themselves as savior of masses….In fact India is tottering and these hapless leaders unable to control the nation. Any dispassionate observer of the Indian scenario would fathom out such a sorry state of affair…Prices of the commodities are touching to the sky and no one hell over here spill the beans for it…So called intellectuals are busy with SRK,salu bhaia and other Dick and Harry……Where is tryst with destiny????????????????

murkasu said...

Can we have comments on Santhanam's views about pokhran 2 being a fizzle and we should not sign ctbt? Why the redoubtable Kalam is giving an evasive reply than answering the points raised by Santhanam? I can understand MM Singh's political compulsions but Kalam has no such compulsions. Technical data is staring at us and yet why this denial?

rt said...

am a bit confused..are u talking about the youngsters not having gud enuf memory or GK or are u talking abt jaswant singh...
I guess its not the younsters alone who have i care a damn attitude but its for everyone..
Also according to a recent study which u wud have read abt in ToI ..twitter is being driven not by teenagers but grown up adults...
belive me i generally love ur articles /posts but this one doesnt have much of a meaning ..2 separate posts wud have done more justice ..(and given us more to read ;))

roflindian said...

Serves them right. Who asked those dyed in the wool retros to experiment with something as polemic as Jinnah-tic engineering? If they hoped Jassu just won't sing, they were utterly wrong.

naval said...

this event has no boubtabily taken jaswant to stardom. He was seen in politicals seens less frequently in the near future ny way thans to the humpy dumpy leadership and electronic media for the same........

kiran said...

actually this is a out of topic.
I am new to your blog but not yours articles which are printed in different media.i am very interested reading your articles.
actually not for knowledge but for the way you project the topic.just like straigh(i.e. unbounded by ethics and all). actually i adore you. the same way i adore salman rushdie for his literature which is directly from heart, bounded by nothing. i think you write the same way, as he writes his novels,but you write about current topics.but strangely i found no favourite book in your profile any of his writings(no offence please).any way if given a chance i want hug you(not for physical).just like a close friend.
thank you ma`am.

Launched worldwide. Available at Amazon USA, Canada, Germany, France, Japan, UK said...

Greetings from Pakistan!

The reaction of BJP of expelling Jaswant Singh is highly non-secular and non-democratic. We in Pakistan hold India in high esteem when it comes to following democracy. But recent uproar in India over speaking a TRUTH is totally beyond comprehension. I think Indian media and BJP top brass should have shown some maturity.

Jaswant Singh is lucky that at the fag end of his life, his book is becoming best-seller, a dream of any author.

We, across the border, will have high respect for any Indian leader for speaking truth in future.

Warm regards

Ashraf Chaudhry
Sales Trainer/Author of The Craft of Selling "YOURSELF"
Lahore--Pakistan.

Tejo Panini said...

Indian Media jai ho!
I know you guys have such hatred towards BJP and anything Hindu.
But you are awfully wrong.You are not getting this that BJP is getting sympathy in Indian masses.
You know,people go and come into parties.
Is Jaswant bigger than VP singh (if kids dont know atleast you shd know right?).
Jaswant is just a loser and loner in BJP and he is getting into natural oblivion.It is the good manners of BJP folk that they are not retorting back with euphemisms.
Your analysis is wrong. Why not think other way.BJP might do some internal analysis and come out stronger.
No matter how much you media guys bark it is pre-historic party etc..it is the best progressive party we India can have in current times.

ms said...

mz de! by the time i read your new post, the media had moved on to other stuff - fickle, fickle! when the taliban was looking for new leadership, 100 died (literally) fighting for the throne. what we have to see is how many are left standing (literally!) after the BJP war of succession! why do our "netas" wait to be shown the door, haven't they heard of gracefully fading away like ageing actresses?
now we have cross-border praises for our political system.
"itney bhi gaye-guzrey nahi hain ki gairon ka daaman thamlein,
thokar bhi apni aur dard bhi".

hanmi reddy said...

Now, BJP means Bharatiya Jokers Party

Jassu, Shouri.. all the jokers are power hungry to the core!

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Leave me alone
Michael - You The Best.

Theyoginme said...

Jaswant's book is out of stock!!! I am enjoying free internet (wow!) at Bengaluru airport. The crossword book store at the airport had run out of Jinnah. Did you ask for your cut? :) Apparently the publisher is out of stock as well and a second edition is to be published. I think Jaswant Singh can probably start his own party, though I suggested the same Nandan Nilekani on Thursday night. Independents should take advantage of the implosion of BJP. Time for some new fresh smart blood. Time for a change....

Arun Shourie - Aroon Puri they all sound the same....I am pre-twitter, but alas I only remember Mr. Puri and I kept confusing between them, thiking Mr. Shourie was Mr. Puri, till I saw Mr. Puri live..But twitter is growing, even my measely set of followers adding slowly..

When do you plan to twitter!!!

work_of_fiction? said...

True that they played with fire and payed the price of it. But the boat is rocking. Its aint good. Country needs a steadiness to sail through. Guys, get your act together!

Another Kiran In NYC said...

I am completely thrilled that BJP is in chaos. Toothless and failed old men that have lost thier sense of a clear vision need no longer pretend to be the upholder of checks and balances as the opposition.

The more tumult the better. Let there be a revolution. The bloodier the better. The old order stuck in a 60 year old time warp really needs to go. They must make way for a new generation. Let the old men behead each other. Let there be chaos and turmoil. The ground must be wetted by tired old blood to make it a fertile place. One that allows the blooming of a new order and new ideas relevent to today's voting populace. Sometimes only a bloody coup will do that. It is nessecary and let the chips fall where they may. I will watch on the sidelines and cheer and offer clean towels to mop up the blood.

For the BJP, the need of the hour is for politicians and ideologues who live in "today" to work out new leadership strategies and the new directions the party needs to move in so that they may be an effective instrument of checks on the ruling goverment. A clear and new manifesto drawn up by vigorous fresh blood rooted in the reality of today and tomorrow is necessary for the party to survive as a viable option for now and for the future.

The Congress has already had a revolution that has brought in a new order. Only difference is that thier revolution was seemingly publically bloodless and has been superbly managed over the last 10 years. Today the scion has already been anointed and his cronies and contemporaries are already doing thier "time" until they can be crowned as the vanguard of a new order in reality. The Congress revolution was managed by skillful public shaming and the stealthy cutting off of fractous limbs over the the last ten years. If Pilot and Scindia and a few others had been around today and still vocal the Congress would also have been in the throes of a public bloodbath like the BJP, before the scion was finally anointed. Perhaps HIB and her advisors should be awarded the "green thumb" award for thier pruning skills. There is little public jockeying for first place and the Congress can talk about today and tomorrow because there are none with them who even remember what happened 60 years ago. They talk of today and that my friends is all that finally matters to the people that vote them into power.

We need revolutions from time to time and they are sometimes messy affairs and sometimes excercises in discretion. That my friends is the human condition that allows for new directions to be explored in life and in politics.

NAT said...

Shobha,

All Indians should read TOI 30th Aug. 2009, The article by Chetan Bhagat (The underage Optimist)
"DON'T FIX HISTORY, LOOK AT THE FUTURE"
The same is self explanatory, and very thought provoking.

Sure even the Elders would want to follow suit.

Norman

Sidhusaaheb said...

With the RSS working overtime to fix things in the BJP, it could be business as usual pretty soon, methinks.

I do recall Arun Shourie being the editor of the Indian Express during the Bofors and 'Defamation Bill' era and when the newspaper reported Reliance having smuggled an entire manufacturing plant into the country without paying even a single rupee in terms of customs duties. It's a pity that some one like him stayed on in the BJP despite the Gujarat carnage.

pari said...

MY DEAR SHOBHABEN, PLEASE GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT.NARENDRA MODI DID NOT BAN ALCOHOL IN GUJARAT.IT HAS BEEN BANNED SINCE THE CREATION OF THE STATE. SHODDY WORK WHICH JUST TYPIFIES THE OBNOXIOUS NATURE OF INDIAN JOURNALISM.

Gajendra said...

all said and done...you have got to admit that the nation's polity is in the doldrums (atleat the BJP is..)

Pakistani Humanist said...

I am from Lahore,Pakistan and here much has been made of Jassu.An excellent post.I havent read jaswant Singh,but am planning to buy his book and read as to why such a big controversy...
I am your fan,Ms.De.
My blog is at www.myhumanistblog.blogspot.com.
Please do visit.

maha said...

you are right....

Work from home India

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