'Independent' women? What a laugh!

This appeared in the Special Issue of 'The Week'....
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From ‘Peepli’ to Mumbai – such a short journey!

We were at an Independence Day dinner at which two predictable camps had formed without anybody trying – women on one side, men on the other. ‘Our’ designated area (mercifully) was the smoke and alcohol free zone and ‘our’ conversation was restricted to children, cooking and maids (all three were declared hazardous to health – more so than ciggies and booze). At one point a spirited lady declared dramatically, “What I really need in my life is a wife!” That was greeted by much hooting,clapping and thumbs up signs by other ladies.She had certainly touched a chord.Considering this was not really a bunch of bored and pampered desperate housewives, I was a little surprised . Most of the women were first class professionals, as busy if not busier than their husbands – the same guys guffawing in the other corner, enjoying their puffs and malts. Some of them earned more than their mates. And yet, there they were cribbing about traditional ‘domestic’ issues that belonged to their grandmother’s era. Had anything really changed ?
Urban women aren’t having it easy at all, no matter what sociologists say. All that talk of liberation, empowerment, freedom is mainly theoretical. Real life has a different story to tell. Watching this season’s most talked about movie (‘ Peepli {Live}’), I found the characters of Natha’s feisty wife and the invalid mother-in-law far more complex and fascinating than the other stereotypes – simple minded farmers, oily politicians, manipulative TV journalists.Those two females provided a scarily searing comment on poverty and desperation. Their respective portrayals had a deeper impact than the combined efforts of the predominantly male ensemble cast. Just the central premise that a wretchedly poor farmer is left with no other option but to get talked into contemplating suicide by another man Budhia( Raghuvir Yadav,his unmarried brother), is tragic enough. That such a drastic decision is taken without once consulting the man’s wife Dhaniya(Shalini Vatsa) or Amma ( Farrukh Jaffer),says everything about the role women play within family. Natha (Omkar Das Manikpuri) , the doomed farmer, bumbles his way through the film, hardly opening his mouth,even as he becomes the central character of a ludicrous media circus. But his infuriated, hard working, pragmatic wife is not as docile – she lets everyone have it! It is she who asks the only relevant questions in the movie and challenges the logic of the absurd decision which isn’t going to solve her family’s myriad problems in any way. The bidi smoking old woman is equally fierce while expressing her contempt for her thoroughly useless sons who have made such a mess of everybody’s lives. Since the director, Anusha Rizvi, is also a woman, I’m guessing she thought it important enough to represent a strong female perspective to the unfolding tragedy, in order to counter balance the rest of the content which focuses on men and their preoccupations with status, power, position.
The scenario was not all that different at the swish Independence Day dinner. While the men sorted out global issues and provided quick fix solutions to everything from the CWG to Kashmir, their wives were more concerned about mundane matters revolving around children, health and food. Basics. I am not sure the contribution of this group of well heeled ladies to family decisions was any more significant than Dhaniya’s or her foul mouthed mother-in-law’s in the movie. Back in Peepli, women had no illusions about their own importance. But in our cities, we were silly enough to fool ourselves into believing otherwise. Today,the collective disillusionment of supposedly less disenfranchised women is beginning to rear its ugly head after a short burst of euphoria that lasted a decade , if that. 2010’s ground realities tell a different story. No matter how well qualified a woman is, no matter how much she earns, no matter how fabulous looking she may be, back home she is still viewed in the same light as her grandmom once was, and constantly judged for not discharging her ‘duties’ – in the kitchen and boudoir. She can never be too tired or too bored to cater to her family’s every need. Appetites have to be satisfied at all times, be they food related or sex driven. Woe betide any woman who dares to raise her voice and protest. She is branded a witch ( in our villages) or a bitch ( in our cities ). Either way, she is burnt at the stake of community opinion.
In the 63rd year of India’s Independence, a lot has changed. But a woman’s lot remains pretty much where it was over six decades ago.
Jai Hind!