Monday, December 13, 2010

It has been a lovely weekend, with a traditional Godh Bharai ceremony that brought me enormous joy.
I have been receiving calls and mails from various people to say that my name does indeed feature in the Radia tapes! And I am immensely flattered that Ms. Radia has a very poor opinion of me.... she is overheard telling someone I am not her kind of journo!!! Should I throw a celebratory party??? I take it as a supreme compliment!
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This appeared yesterday in the Sunday Times of India.....
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Insaaf for Raja - Rakhee Sawant- Ishstyle….!


It does not matter whether Rakhee Sawant knows 2G from ‘Haanji’. People outside the telecom industry are equally clueless, including those experts battling it out on national television , night after agonizing night. All we know is that there has been a major gadbad ghotala involving some really zabardast corporate guys, and that the country has been looted of lakhs of crores. Naughty, really naughty. These sort of ‘rascalas’ need Superstar Rajni , not Kapil Sibal to rescue them . There are so many versions floating around about these bad guys that even Brahmadev’s personal intervention won’t help us to get our heads around this mega scandal. If Brahmadev is sensible, he’ll stay out of the mess and watch the drama unfold from his lofty perch in Swarag. But this indifference from heavenly bodies should not deter the bloodhounds of the legal system from going for the kill. So far, their efforts have been, clumsy, comical and amateurish. It’s like being forced to sit through a black-and-white Bud Abbott and Lou Castello film with bumbling cops tripping over their own toes as they chase nimble robbers. Look at the modus operandi employed so far - those meaningless ‘raids’ on Raja’s properties , months and weeks after the guy has cleaned out and cleaned up ( someone obviously forgot to tell the sleuths the horse had bolted weeks ago). The craftily timed leaks ( what fun – we are in sync with Julian Assange finally!). The charges and counter charges flying around in this absurd ‘whodunit’ that boasts of a stellar star cast. And grabbing all the headlines (but staying out of serious trouble) is India’s own Mata Hari or Hunterwali – Fearless Radia.
We are told by those-who-know, ‘You ain’t seen nuthin yet.’ Miles and miles of tapes still remain in those cans, with more names, more revelations , coming up. The idea is to release key leaks when attention levels in the scandal start to flag. Sitting on stuff that can potentially destroy careers and reputations in one swift stroke, is a priceless khazana for government agencies to hang on to.Confuse the enemy, advised Confucius centuries earlier. Let the scamsters sweat, say our Babus! Those shivering in their pants, saris and salwar kameezes, waiting for the next bombshell to drop, can make life slightly easier for themselves by hiring interlocutors ( love the word!). Any Bollywood style ‘setting’ needs swift and efficient damage control. This is the time when powerful touts make the real bucks. As we have seen in the ‘Adarsh’ case, key files can and do disappear ( a large window to facilitate easy disappearance is always factored into the deal, even as noises are being made about taking action against culprits). Once evidence is destroyed, what remains??
Aaha – this is where Rakhee Sawant comes in. Anybody who has watched this unstoppable force of nature in action on a show that sees her meting out instant justice to cowering participants, will tell you she is the most admired ‘judge’ in India. Forget ‘law-shaw’ and other such formalities.Rakhee single handedly skewers, grills and punishes those she thinks deserve no mercy. A suicide here and there, doesn’t bother her. The sentence is passed remorselessly…. and God help you if you think there has been a total miscarriage of justice – there is no higher court than Rakhee’s in the land. Wonder of wonders – Rakhee has more credibility than some of our real life judges. People who watch her show, believe in her and agree with most of her ‘verdicts’.
Which is more than can be said about the way the 2G expose is being handled.All of India is stupefied and laughing out loud at the absurdity of the ongoing battle royale between mighty industrialists and powerful politicians. Kapil Sibal has the worst job in the cabinet. He has announced a one man ‘committee’ ( surely more than one person makes up a committee?), to ‘examine appropriateness of procedures adopted by DoT in the issuance of licenses and allocation of spectrum during the period 2001-2009…..” Yada yada yada. We pretty much know the outcome – how different can it possibly be to all the collective outcomes of similar, well -intentioned enquiries of the past? Nobody believes in those pointless show cause notices. Nobody believes that any of the high profile rogues floating around will ever see the inside of a jail. And nobody believes the truth ( such as it is) will ever come out. So why not spare the time and expense involved in this mockery of an investigation ? Whether it was the BJP or the NDA, whether Rajeev Chandrashekhar is wrong and Ratan Tata, right… as of now, everybody is in the same over stuffed basket filled with ignominious charges.
What if Rakhee Sawant were to summon the main players into her ‘court’ and invite
the people of India to judge for themselves, there and then? On the spot verdict! That would be the ultimate reality show with ratings going through the roof. Imagine the visual – Rakhee as Judge, clad in her trademark cleavage revealing outfits, spouting priceless lines as she cross examines Raja and Co.Her over glossed pout puckering up as she creases that tightly stretched brow, leans forward, tossing masses of hair extensions, and asks provocatively, “ Ab tera kya hoga, Raja…?”
Raja may chortle and say, “Mere paas bungla hai, gaadi hai, daulat hai…”
That will be Rakhee’s cue to summon her ace witness who will then demolish Raja by thundering ,‘Mere paas Amma hai.”
Case dismissed.
India will go back to sleep.

14 comments:

cmpershad said...

`traditional Godh Bharai ceremony'
for Shashtipoorthi, i think! Best wishes and may you have many more years of happiness, health and pen sans Radia :)

sonal said...

hey Ms De, what a claim to fame, u being mentiuoned in the radi tapes, and for what a comment....that u are not her kind of a jurno....What a relief!!
congrgulations and when u do throw that party do invite me!I'll be there to celebrate too!

Jogeshwar said...

Sad India will go back to sleep. What do you think about Wikileaks, will the world go back to sleep? I think it will change the way governments function.

uthamanarayanan said...

Hmmmmmmmmm...I am sleepy.

Madhu said...

Ms De, the problem is that, your name was mentioned at all. You see, no one can deny that you have a great fame, I hope you did not lobby for Raja or Rani. At the end of the day, aam aadmi ki toh leg jaati hein na; Raja or Rani are happy happy any day.

Sasha said...

Ummm... so are you going to talk about Arun bhaiyya and Liz Bhabhi?? India's bahu. She's back in the news after her last no-blouse show. Yana take cue- for next time.


Please please say something about them.

Pratap said...

Shobhaa

If you were "her kind of journo" i.e. a sellout! - I (and a lot of people I know) would not be following your column and blog.

That IS a big reason why we like you.

Appu said...

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Pooja Rathore said...

Rakhi sawant will make an ideal judge ( a true sagittarian - she is daring and excellent at putting people exactly where they belong ).
Read your column on the Movie BBB will watch it.
Throw the party savour the compliment(your pen is not for sale)!

*Aham* said...

wow! your name features in Radia tapes! Wallah! congrats.

and radia is aleki bhaowing aasu ki nadiyaa..

well, this river has no bank, no delta.


and she is not your type of journalist. she stated what we know.
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the saddest part of this "spectrum from Radia's prism" drama is the shift of Kapil Sibal from education to telecom.

Sibbu had ambitious plans.. which he kickstarted... he went phusss.

the price he plays for being congress ka man friday.

****************************
rakhi sawant.. what a reprieve , her cleavage and unapologetic "chamaak challo"ness... is anydays better than Radia's bakk bakkk.

i suggest that they give rakhi sawant a berth too.

rakhi ka insaaf is better than UPA ka insaaf...

well the parliament then will be adjorned again without passing any bill, but haiiii.... atleast the maradh paltan will lose their dill.

Theyoginme said...

Now that I am plugged into the Radia tapes controversy and listened to her discussions with Barkha Dutt and others I would agree you have every reason to celebrate your integrity as an ethical independent journalist and writer who is not afraid to speak her mind. Barkha Dutt should step down from her soap box and tweeting crap and eat the biggest humble pie she can find from her connections with the bakery world.

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Rhett said...

total fan of your prose!! what fun!

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