Monday, January 9, 2012

We need better 'players'..... kyon?

Utterly dull monday... but what beautiful light! And delightful weather! The shawls are out. And trust our Bollywood hotties to climb into heavy duty boots as soon as the mercury dips a little! I hear Delhi socialites are draped in fur, like they'd need to be if they were in Moscow or Helsinki. It's a lovely feeling to shiver a little in Mumbai and get those light Pashmina stoles out of mothballs.My desire to devour hot gajjar halwa is overwhelming! But I'll happily settle for the yummy fresh cream and strawberries cake they serve at 'Wasabi' for special occasions. My daughter Anandita tells me the high tea at the Sea Lounge is exceptionally good, too. Sigh! Toujour Taj Memories!

**************


This appeared in Bombay Times today...




When one watches crores of rupees being blown up in clumsy action scenes as cars pile up on cars, and random bombs go off in the distance, it is time to pick up the carton of half -eaten pop corn and beat a hasty retreat from the cinema hall. Never waste good popcorn. Even more importantly, never waste precious time. I am a great one for self-punishment and have happily subjected myself to far worse films than a turkey like ‘Players’. Let’s just put it down to new year fatigue and a growing intolerance for waste on all levels, but I really couldn’t stand this three hour punishment which relied on a Johnny Lever to resolve its mighty crisis.That’s called ‘desperate’. ‘Players’ made me wonder what makes veteran movie makers back something as ridiculous and as nonsensically OTT as this remake, which totally lacks any cinematic coherence. ‘Players’ literally goes all over the place – from New Zealand to Moscow. But for what ? The motley cast changes costumes and sleepwalks through what is meant to be a super slick effort revolving around an ambitious heist. Which desi chor would undertake a mission this impossible ( stealing tons of gold from a train that’s en route to Romania from Russia)? And this bunch looks not just hopelessly amateurish, inept and unintelligent, but manages to generate misplaced laughter during key scenes. One just hopes no self respecting Russian watches the movie. It could lead to Putin launching a full scale attack on us just to let our audiences know what happens when a Russian general loses his cool ( he definitely does not start stripping off his clothes and singing ‘Mera Joota Hai Japani’, as the joker in a cheap pink satin shirt does in ‘Players’). But yes, I can see the sternest Russian melting into a puddle at the sight of a sizzling Bipasha performing an item song in a tacky bar. Yup. It’s as easy as that. Bips as a seductress is more lethal than a guided missile, and perhaps our own Ministry of External Affairs should consider hiring her services to sort out India’s myriad problems.
To make up for the torture I had subjected myself to, I went and watched ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy…” Let me just say, I regained my sanity, as well as my faith in movies. Despite mixed reviews to this cold war spy thriller, I found myself at the edge of the seat ( popcorn ko maaro goli!), not wanting to miss even a single line of dialogue , or visual clue. After a long time, I actually found God in the details – and what details! Every meticulously constructed, brilliantly lit scene revealed subtle props that were certainly not there by accident. For a movie in which the script is so finely calibrated, and the dialogue as economical, the challenge is to not blink! Or lose focus even for a micro -second! It was a good way to handle a post-New Year’s Eve condition. I recommend ‘TTSS’ over tomato juice to anybody looking for a quick fix to a hangover. Watch it attentively – you’ll sober up instantly. As for ‘Players’, sorry, even if you go to a theatre fully tanked up, you still won’t be able to sit through it!

25 comments:

rakhitousa said...

Website is very comprehensive and informative. I have enjoyed the visit. From www.rakhitousa.in

Chintan Gupta said...

I remember you left Ra-One half baked :) I enjoyed Sherlock Holmes a lot....Awesome Movie.

Hope you don't have to go through such horror again....

Cheers!

Nitin said...

nice one, i like it.

eb-5 visa

AJAY ARORA said...

yes rightly said,,,:)
if any one wanna enjoy players,,,plz keep it your brain aside.
As PLAYERS is a remake of Hollywood movie the Italian job (2003),,which itself is a remake of movie with the same name that was released in 1969..
so are we really such a double fool & have have enormous extra money to be wasted for such a old storyline of 1969 !!
NAAAaa.........

Divya Virmani said...

One word: Shit... is how I describe Abbas Mastan movies now. They think they live in a bubble and just because it's their product they'll do all kinds of twists and turns w/o any logic whatsoever! I saw the last one they made...can't even rem the name. That's who pathetic it was... I saved my 11 bucks on Players crap and instead spent it on 'The girl with the dragon tattoo'... Absolutely worth it. Every second will keep you glued to your seats. Not once did I look at the watch...

MicBoyzInc said...

Such a bad movie... And if you are watching it after u have seen the orginal versions you will hate it more. Players is a bad movie. The sound is too loud the actors are worthless, the action is childish and the music is only the good thing, not the bgm but the songs.

www.micboyzinc.blogspot.com

DeEpAK KaRtHiK (420) said...

I feel Indian movies should jump off from MASALA category and must take Genre based films, then we can reach beyond our lines much better.

Whatever

Rev tee said...

"The shawls are out"?? On reading this, I had a feeling that Mumbai was experiencing hot weather and you want to keep away the shawls. But things were set right in subsequent lines.. Just kidding...

Rakhi Worldwide said...

Bring the sunshine of festivity to your siblings this Raksha Bandhan with gift items that will enchant the vintage appeal of the immortal relation you have been sharing with them. Your Rakhi threads symbolize the eternal togetherness; your Rakhi Puja thalis mark your best wishes for rest of their lives. This festival is something that will make your presence felt among siblings forever. Visit www.rakhiworldwide.com for more details.

Pooja Rathore said...

3 guesses
1.your birthday
2.you are were choosen one among the powerful women in India also most inspiring woman iam sure your children are super proud of you.
3.New year/you are doing a good job as grandmother(your happy new role this year.)
i am not sure if my guesses are right but atleast i tried DE!

Rajesh said...

software Testing Blog


http://www.testing4easy.blogspot.com/

posisign said...

kick off everyone who play right now.. ;-)

posisign said...

kick off everyone who play right now
--------
Get the real IDENTITY at WEBBIENCE

चंद्रमौलेश्वर प्रसाद said...

Saving precious time... yes, and hence stopped going to movies decades ago :)

MicBoyzInc said...

Varun Thottathil Photography through MICBOYZINC
http://micboyzinc.blogspot.com/2012/01/photophilic.html#!/2012/01/photophilic.html

gwl said...

Shobha dey is very good author.
http://www.giftwithlove.com

jyoti26 said...

Hire php developers says
its true..sherlock holmes is a good flick

jyoti26 said...

6 months industrial training in chandigarh
its true mam

இணையத்தில் நீங்களும் சம்பாரிக்கலாம் said...

We Provide 100% Without Investment Online Job. Payment Proofs Are Available.

Visit Here : http://www.bestaffiliatejobs.blogspot.com

Dreamlike said...

i wish i was sonam kapoor - then all i wud hv to do is: dress up nicely, put on expensive makeup and stand like a wall and get paid in lakhs for that - whoa what a life

RightFlower said...

Cakes are the mood changers for any occasion. Melt the hearts of your loved associates with freshly baked cakes. Cakes are always the special foodstuffs, and perfect ones for your special relations and occasions. Exotic and yummy cakes at www.flowersdeliverypune.com are just a few clicks away.

chennaicakesdelivery said...

nice content.

send cakes to chennai, cakes to chennai, cakes to chennai delivery, cakes home delivery to Chennai with www.chennaicakesdelivery.com.Online Shopping of cake for chennai delivery is secured and assured with us. You can order online cakes to chennai and all around India. Send birth day cake, wedding cake, anniversary cake with us.Same day cake delivery to Chennai. Our cakes are Delicious and freshly baked, made by the finest chefs in the country. Delight your loved ones with this simple and delicious combination.

http://www.chennaiflowers.com said...

Flowers to Chennai delivery are free, safe and secured with www.chennaiflowers.com. We being Local Flower Shop are cheaper than other florists in Chennai. We deliver fresh Flowers, Cakes, Sweets and other gifts on door, you can order online to send flowers to Chennai .

Puneflowersdelivery said...

Send flowers to Pune, flowers to Pune delivery,flowers to Pune,Pune flowers delivery, flowers Pune, Online flowers to Pune.

Flowersbangalore said...

Flowers to Bangalore; send flowers online to Bangalore and buy Birthday flowers, wedding flowers, Anniversary flowers, condolence and sympathy flowers, send same day flowers to Bangalore online with us. Buy flowers online for same day delivery in Bangalore.