Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Who wants to be Mrs.Salman Rushdie No.5?

 All four images are from Jaipur. The ones on top are with Rajmata Padmini Devi. She had graciously invited me to lunch at her residence - the magnificent City Palace. I was completely disarmed by her innate simplicity and quiet grace. The others in the picture are Sunanda Tharoor and Hemali Sodhi. The beautiful boy dancing in the courtyard of the Palace Cafe speaks a lilting version of English, Italian, French and German. The cops in the last picture were there to thwart protests in the wake of the Asish Nandy controversy. As you can tell, it's a pretty motley crowd of hired 'protestors''.
 Oh.... for all those who want to know about our strange footwear in the earlier post, it's a disposable covering that one wears in order to protect the pristine marble of the Taj.

This appeared in Mumbai Mirror.....

                                  Who wants to be Mrs.Salman Rushdie…?

 So…. who wants to be the next Mrs. Rushdie? Dumb question! Do I see quite a few raised hands out there?Yup. I do, indeed.Across the world and certainly here in India, there are any number of gorgeous young things who’d love to be Salman’s missus number five. Paradox or what? Let’s take a good look at Salman, ladies. Let’s try and figure out what makes him so damn irresistible to women. It can’t be his looks  (Salman is the first person to laugh about those). It isn’t about his money. I don’t know his net worth, and I am pretty sure he has done well for himself. But, let’s face it, Warren Buffet he ain’t.He is not even a Ruia or Dhoot. He  is well…. Salman Rushdie. All hooded eyes and sardonic smiles. A man who has a way with words and women. That’s quite a feat. Words… that’s easy, he is a brilliant writer. No debate. Women? Oh oh…. different story. Rushdie at 65 is hot! Madly hot.  Sure, he is seriously out of  shape ( gymming is for wimps, not geniuses – got that?) But he is also seriously irresistible. Sir Ahmed Salman Rushdie ( knighted in 2008), serial husband,  is also the original Cerebral Sizzler. Best served garma garam.
I watched him gamely go through the mandatory motions while promoting his movie ( make no mistake - ‘Midnight’s Children’ is unambiguously Rushdie’s film). I figured he was trying to keep himself awake and amused as he repeated a spiel that by now must be coming out of his ears. This is the least fun part of any creative endeavour – the hard sell and road show. Salman must be well aware of the boring drill which involves flogging the poor chap from city to city, country to country. He is the movie’s brand identity and trump card . No Salman. No interest. The book is 32- years- old. The original Midnight’s Children who so loved the book, are now paunchy, complacent, middle aged grandpas and grandmas. The current generation of readers ( I am told they do exist!) has moved on to ‘higher ground’ ( Salman’s favourite phrase). Grey matter is restricted to appreciating fifty shades of  that depressing colour. And yet! There he was, sportingly playing to the galleries, those observant hooded eyes checking out the fawning crowd invited to the Little Theatre by Anil Dharker.  As if on cue, he performed his set piece, chortling at an anecdote here, an off the cuff joke there. Dead pan humour and wry wit, perfectly in place.  Wait a minute – I got it! The key to Salman’s spectacular success with the ladies is definitely linked to this one trait -  his awesome sense of humour. Bas. You may say there are so many funny guys floating around. Do women necessarily want to bed and wed them? Naaaah! But just look at Salman’s enviable track record. Forget Johnny Depp ( Salman’s joke about him is brilliant). It is our Salman who’s the asli super stud. The man who makes women weak with desire. But… desire for what? His fame? Umm. There are countless men a hundred times more famous.His brain? Well, a good brain is attractive. But … I guess that’s not the  only part of a man’s anatomy women seek under the sheets.  Could it be his bad boy reputation? That’s a turn on, for sure. Most good girls are absolute suckers when it comes to naughty guys. But then, going by just that, there should be a long queue of  lusting ladies lining up outside Arthur Road jail.
The last time I met the Rushdie  was  at a small dinner in Mumbai when the luscious Padma Lakshmi was not yet his missus. Forget her eyes, she could barely keep her hands off him! She kept gushing, “I don’t see enough of my boy friend.” Salman seemed pleased to bask in her adulation while she draped herself all over him and posed for photographs. Padma is an ex-missus now. And Salman is single. Very single. At this stage in his life, I am guessing he is ready to try anything… or anyone. What does he have to lose? With his devilish charm and devastating wit, Salman may just make it to the list of the world’s most eligible bachelors. Never mind the girth. He is the Jack Nicholson of the literary world. At once magnetic and entirely impossible. Women just lurveee that! More fool them.


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Another Kiran In NYC said...

I fell in love with Salman Rushdie a couple of decades ago when I saw him on Charlie Rose's show on PBS. That man weaves words into a good conversation like a paithani master weaver handles a skein of silk on a loom. The weavers hands may be gnarled but they create absurdly beautiful things. Salman speaks beautifully and he lets you into his amazing mind in a serious conversation with an interesting interviewer. He looks comfortable in his own skin, and that is amazingly sexy to women of a certain age like me.

As a writer, Salman has seemed up and down to me. Some brilliant, some meh. My favorite has been the children's book he wrote.

My hands are itching to get themselves to rearrange some furniture and "fix up" the living room of the palace in the picture. Old world is all very well, but please please display your beautiful stuff nicely or just warehouse it!

How many lit fests are there anyway? And the mango people still do not have access to affordable books or free libraries. Such a damn shame.

Tsomo85 said...

Mr.Rushdie's fame can not be glorified without his downfall & poor taste in women. #fact :(

Vinay Bhushan Bhagwaty said...

pretty disappointing piece from your mighty pen, madam.

Anil Kumar said...

I think Salman needs a Gorilla. Not a female Gorilla like Serena Williams - but a male version of Serena Williams.

Thats the kind of values spread in the name of freedom which bites Indian women repeatedly.

A man having his 5th wife/gf and still high profile people think its cool thing and speculate on it. If you spread this animal behaviour in society and then shed tears for rape/domestic abuse victims...I guess you have lost the right to show sympathy for women who are abused in India.

How much do you get paid for writing such article Ms De? I think you are much better than writing these cheap articles.

Caravan Family said...

Strange, but I've noticed that most of these royal women look absolutely miserable in their photos..it's not just this Jaipur one, the Gwalior and other ones look miserable as well..must be the lack of freedom.

That living room is a nightmare - wallhanging of tirupati balaji, statue of sai baba, clutter, all crammed on every surface possible - a recipe for disaster!

Vinay Bhushan Bhagwaty said...

well said, Anil Kumar. i totally agree. i don't think anybody is drooling over Rushide as De is fantasizing.

abhi singh said...

rushdie does knows his art and is a charmer!

Wandering Madrasi said...

Well, lets just enjoy his talent at writing. Neither hot nor tasty:((

Anil Kumar said...

A Gorilla is also very charming. And if you lock him up with Rushdie - you can see his art as well.

deepa rai said...

hi Shobha
Deepa here.Plese heelllp!I am 20 years old. I have 2 step brothers from step dad.
We are family of 4. The eldest brother Pravesh is 28 years old and very nice and my best buddy.
Mom is school teacher and dad is no more.
But the problem is the other brother 24 years old.
He is so jealous to see me and eldest bro Pravesh
together. He always tells me every morning" so wat ru gonna do today? take naked bath with Pravesh
or smth?" He keeps on telling me that I and Pravesh are husband and wife and we have sex everyday.
(god! wat sin!)

He says that among 2 brothers,he thinks I like Pravesh more coz he is more handsome
taller and stronger, which wasnt true coz I liked both of them equally
but after his pervert activities I admit I now like my elder brother much more than him.
he is so pervert that last time , he climbed up the sewer pipe, behing the house, to reach the toilet window
so that he could sneak peek inside and see me and Pravesh using toilet turnwise and get turned on.
God he was there for 2 hours enduring pain and smell

I even caught him twice on pervert activities. Once, sniffing the toilet bowl as soon
as I had used it and the other time after elder brother Pravesh used it. Whenever I go out with my ELDER BRO
he follows us all throughout sometimes waiting 3 hours outside theatre just to keep a tab on us

I warned him that i'll complain mom and Pravesh and he says sorry i will not do
but he does that.
last time u wont believe I saw him opening elder brothers shorts while he was sleeping and
buried his nose inside elder brothers ass crack sniffing it fondly for long tym

Plese helpppppppppp! he tells that my and Pravesh's ass smells so similar and he enjoys it
whenever I am with my brother Pravesh in my room chatting him he quietly slips under
our bed and wait there for hours until Pravesh goes out of room after which he comes out and
tells that he wanted to get farted on by both of us, thats why he was there,under our bed waiting
patiently for gas./ Freaaaaaak!!

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