Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Rahul sheds his diapers...



Maa da Laadla has come of age at last!
Wah! Kya baat hai!! The Congress Party has finally found its ‘Item Number’. Rahulbaba is out of his pram and has shed his diapers, finally. He is now a MAN! And what a dishy man. Pure eye candy. A real Himbo who does not need to flaunt a six pack gut – but he sure flaunted his guts!! I loved the way he shot his mouth off at the press conference this week and in one stroke catapulted himself to the numero uno ‘It Boy’ position. He was exactly what the doc ordered in this pheeka, unsexy election.The critics and pundits can go to hell. He got them by the b***s - and they know it!They can mock his ‘immaturity’ and make fun of his naïve remarks. But, let’s hand it to the greenhorn – he’s done it!! I have received countless emails from complete strangers gushing over the guy. A young lady ecstatically announced, “ I want to marry him – he is so drool-worthy.” I said to myself, “ Oh oh… watch out King Khan….here comes competition”. Rahul Gandhi is officially ‘Cho Chweet’ – a card carrying member of the Hotties Club. Moily was bang on for once when he described Rahul as a Youth Icon. We know what it takes to become one, right? Oomph. Nothing more, nothing less.Rahulbaba’s biggest plus point is his age. Nobody knows or cares about his qualifications – school\college dropout?You know what? It doesn’t matter a damn. The magic has worked. And that’s all that counts. Rahul Gandhi came across as a good chap – simple, uncomplicated and sincere. A semi Mr. Clean. This is very rare in politics, especially in India, where we expect netas to look and behave like thugs. If they are educated, sophisticated, articulate , erudite and refined – well, that’s too bad. For them. So many careers have gone down the tube, because those men were seen as being far removed from the hoi polloi. Too high brow, too cerebral, too cunning. And therefore suspect. Rahul was the unknown factor – seen more as a shy, modest, reluctant and let’s face it – dumb - heir apparent who was ‘doing it for mummy’ – much like his own father Rajiv, who also famously did it ‘for mummy’ after being air-dropped into the hot seat due to tragic circumstances. But the public at least knew a little about that Prince. We were aware that he had managed to hold down a day job as a pilot for a commercial airline, that he was a shaadi-shuda father of two cute kids, married to a gorgeous-looking Italian lady who preferred to stay out of sight. We also knew ‘Mummy’ preferred the younger son, Sanjay, whose fiery personality and naked ambition made him the perfect fit as her successor. But history had its own plan – and Rajiv became India’s unlikely Prime Minister. He was written off before he even started. Too young, too raw, too inexperienced. Till he went to America and addressed his first important press conference. Bingo!! Perceptions changed overnight… the world took him more seriously. And so did we!
What an amazing coincidence that it took another press conference to ‘reveal’ Rahul to his own countrymen. All of a sudden, Rahul Gandhi was perceived as his party’s biggest trump card. Never mind that his detractors chose to interpret his outspokenness as desperation. Never mind that seasoned journos read defeat in that speech. And never mind too that political analysts mocked the shallow, superficial content of his responses and said he sounded like a gauche schoolboy, not a future prime minister. They are all completely right! And that is precisely what did the trick for Rahul. He sounded like anybody else – the guy next door. Not a hardened politician indulging in doublespeak. His comments were commonsensical, even nonsensical. But he spoke from the heart. And he appeared heart breakingly vulnerable, too.All these ‘negatives’ worked in his favour. Viewers watching him calmly take tough questions and wade trustingly into dangerous waters, responded with sympathy and admiration. The overall verdict was positive, and I was astonished by the sort of reactions his unrehearsed, unscripted, indiscreet and gullible comments about the Left, Right and other weird alliances generated. A senior publisher who happened to visit that afternoon was gob-smacked by the impact of that single tv appearance. He kept repeating, “ Rahul spoke a lot of sense… he spoke on behalf of millions of us when he talked about growth. It gave us hope that if he does become the p.m. soon, he won’t waste his time and ours by indulging in negative politics. His solutions may have been over simplified, but they were practical. We could relate to what he was saying.” This assessment coming from a person, who as a young man , had left a pregnant wife behind in Mumbai, jumped onto a train headed for Amethi, and worked tirelessly for Rajmohan Gandhi (who lost – of course!), made me do a double think about Rahul Baba’s future. Like his father, Rahul looks trustworthy. The operative word is ‘looks’. But that’s the beauty and tragedy of politics, whether in India or elsewhere – so much depends on perception. Richard Nixon ‘looked’ a crook. JFK ‘looked’ a gentleman. Both were crooks. Berloscuoni ‘looks’ a rascal, behaves like a rascal and is a rascal. Ditto for Sarkozy. Gordon Brown resembles a butcher\baker. While Obama, like Rahul, is America’s ‘Item Number’. Sex appeal is hard to deconstruct or ‘explain’. There is really very little difference between sex appeal and voter appeal. We imagine we select candidates\parties using the rational, logical side of our brains. But the truth is, we vote with our hearts. For better or worse.
In politics, timing is everything. Which is why our mighty political pundits are confused, even annoyed at not being taken into confidence about the Rahul coup. The timing of his coming out party seems off. Very off. But is it? Why now, they demand.When the party’s fate has been sealed? Why not earlier when his presence would have made some difference and influenced voters?According to me, the timing couldn’t have been better calibrated. I think his press conference was very shrewdly timed to confuse the enemy and throw the opposition off balance. See how they ran… watch how they scrambled. Listen to Jaitley, Karat, Nitesh spluttering with rage, and you can gauge the panic. Sadly, the truth is that are no issues involved in these elections .It’s all about the numbers game. The kind of numbers one has been hearing ( 10,000 crores offered to Amma for her support when it comes to the crunch and a prime minister’ s name has to be thrown into the ring), are shocking and obscene. Those trillions lying in foreign banks have not been hoarded there for nothing. Of course, no party is interested in naming names – who will cast the first stone at the glass Lutyen’s bungalows? But at least the people of India now know exactly where their hard earned money which politicians have systematically looted over the years, is sitting. It has been stashed away for buying the prime ministership, and other similar emergencies.If enough noise is made, we can (and must) see some of it back in the country. There are no saints in this dirty game. But Rajkumar Rahul has emerged as a worthy heir to the throne. The dowager queen must be happy. Mogambo khush hua!

*********************************************************************************************

This appeared in the Asian Age\Deccan Chronicle over the weekend.

The final countdown is about to begin.

I think the Congress is in trouble. Truly an Ulta Pulta Alliance.

I am almost certain Uddhav Thackeray will become the next Chief Minister of Maharashtra - North Indians and other 'Outsiders' can relax.

I still think Mayawati will make it. Long live pink polyester.

Highheelconfidential ROCKS!! Even when they trash me. Just for the record - I do have problem feet and can't wear closed shoes!

31 comments:

NAT said...

Shobha,

You Rock. Hats off to you for telling it like it is.
There are a lot of us, who agree with you.

We need guys like Rahul G. who will clearly steer the Country for the better, with the kind of foresight and Positive Energy he has so strongly projected in these last few months.
Jai Hind.

Norman

Jogeshwar said...

It sounds quite interesting and scarry to know so much depends on 'looks'. I don't have any faith in what politicians say coz you may never know what is what?

Anil Kumar said...

Let's hope you are RIGHT and one press conference doesn't fool anyone.

I would hate to to see a MEDIA MADE leader thrown at us who just becomes a smiling face and fall at the American feets at the first possible opportunity. We need a leader who not only brings accountability in India but can also speak to PHOREN BABA'S as equal partner.

One of the reason our democracy is like Barkha Dutt's butt because media looks for sensation and have stooped to low levels.

Obama was grinded for one full year and various debates before he was accepted as a party candidate for democratic party.

May be we have such a low expectation level that we find Rahul Baba as exceptional and coming of age after one good press conference.

Ms. Neha Gandhi said...

u dont have to justify to the HHC girls... at times... the blog gets too mean...

Anil Kumar said...

Comparing Rahul Baba with Obama will be an intellectual disgrace.

The guy is tutored so much that he can't speak his heart until this press conference. If he does he will probably be better off. Otherwise he will always look confused and run like a headless chicken.

I don't buy your theory of why now and why not before to help Congress get few more seats.

It doesn't confuse opposition at all. Because all parties are full of filth including congress. If congress loses in terms of number of seats won on 16th of May...The timing will be questioned even more.

Anil Kumar said...

King Khan has already lost his crown to Fake IPL player. The media made king is hiding for cover these days and is crying in a corner in his wife's lap.

I hope MTNL outage has not affected your memory Shobha ji.

AaaDee said...

nice post...i agree with Anil on King Khan's fate :)haha

n i love fakeiplplayer..:)

Sidhusaaheb said...

When I think of "educated, sophisticated, articulate , erudite and refined" non-Gandhi leaders from the Congress (I), names like Madhav Rao Scindia and Rajesh Pilot come to mind.

Would the crown-prince have shone quite as brightly if those gentlemen were still around on planet Earth?

Was it mere co-incidence that they were snatched away by 'the hand of fate' just in time for the queen and the crown-prince to take over the reigns unchallenged or was there more to it?

Questions like those will probably remain unanswered for ever.

BTW, Rahul Gandhi extended the olive branch to Nitish Kumar and there Nitish was, attending the NDA rally at Ludhiana. Chandrababu Naidu too seems not to have bitten the bait. The Left parties are non-committal as well and if at all they do support the Congress it would be more due to the number of seats won or not by the BJP rather than the 'Rahul-effect'.

As for women drooling over Rahul, they always do that over men who are rich or handsome or powerful or all of those.

One has to admit though that if a choice has to be made between Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi, which may be the case in the next Lok Sabha elections, the former does appear to be the lesser evil.

With the kick-backs from Bofors stashed away somewhere abroad, he may even feel less inclined to be corrupt, though it was the existence or at least the perceived existence of those millions that made his father sit on the oppostion benches after the 1989 elections.

I'll always remember his father for the "When a large tree falls, the earth shakes." comment. ( http://www.civilsocietyonline.com/jan08/jan089.asp )

jus me... said...

A couple of days earlier didn't you diss Rahul Gandhi and say something about how his sister would've made a much better candidate?

Vyne said...

The journey to "Rahul....naam toh suna hoga" from..."mere Maa ka naam toh zaroor suna hoga":)...has been quite a quiet one!!

Velu said...

you and everybody else seem to be in an aweful hurry to equate this chap as the "Indian Obama". Whats up with that?

Good looks? So if John abhram runs for office tomorrow he will be the Indian Obama too?

Cheers,
Velu

Rajesh said...

Shobha,

Rahul is being overrated, if looks is all that matters then we can select candidates straight away from the various beauty peagents that happen....

Rajesh

Vijay said...

Politics does become a popularity contest in most democracies, especially ours given the complexity of our elections and the shallowness of most parties.

On the subject of good looks, how do you rate the ladies in politics. There are very few women, and ladies are fewer still :P Priyanka is obviously dashing and I find Brinda Karat as a suave, eloquent and charming lady - she is a Libran and so the charm is hardly surprising. But of course, politically, she is a chamcha to her egotic husband.

What's your sun sign by the way?

*Aham* said...

what a rapchik article. WOW!

The world would prefer priyanka over Rahul... but this guy has finally come of age. He is not a mere citizen, he is a politician! And finally a politician! He suddenly is seen as a tactical move and not just a natural heir.

Besides politics I am waiting to hear his shaadi ka news (with a guy/gal whoever) and then there would be NEWS again... all of us want to know what happens in that family.

Also I guess, priyankas Bacchha log will be Gandhi and not vadra... lets see.

********************************

Congress yes willbe in trouble. But i guess they would emerge victorious.

*******************************
Uddhav I wish not. But admit, i feel the same.
*******************************
mayawati... yes agreed.

mandie said...

Hey Shobhaa...Have become your fan all over again...Reading your " Surviving Men"....Its just Brilliant!! While men am sure are already writing : Surviving Women: in response n vengeance...Women getting orgasmic pleasure with every bit of it...O Wow! O Wow...
Thanks for pouring our heart out. actually mind out…Our heart still likes to befooled by their stuff.
Mandeep Kharbanda

Heeral (Nairobi) said...

easy there tigress! some would say you've developed a massive crush on the fair skinned dimpled boy/man. dont claim to know much about indian politis but am sure is ten times worse than here (some of indian friends who live in mumbai say the same thing) which i thought was worse than the worst so im going to stay out of this one!

Thought for the day: A PERSON WHO WINS THE RAT RACE IS STILL A RAT! Fabulous or what?

omsherryom said...

u'r comment on rahul seems toooo pleading type. this makes us to believe that u wish to be in race for some commomerations or awards like padamshri. remember why ndtv barkha, rajdeep CNN-IBN, Teesta something are all praising Rahul...karz to utarenge....

rajat said...

OUR TV MEDIA IS INSULTING TO SAY THE LEAST. The ethics of journalism are MISSING BIG TIME.

THESE BASTARDS WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE GATE KEEPERS OF OUR DEMOCRACY ARE THERE TO PROVIDE BIASED NEWS COVERAGE TO FULFIL THEIR INTERESTS.

NDTV openely believes that a crook like Amar Singh's party is SECULAR which has declared that they will support any party who can throw Mayawati government out.

NDTV spent hundreds of hours on Varun Gandhi to degrade BJP. Had they avoided overdoing this news (courtsey Barkha Dutt) he would have lost anyway and no one would have given him much importance.

But eagerness of NDTV to use Varun Gandhi to get to BJP and mayawati's NSA has HELPED HIM BIG TIME. That lucky bastard is now known everywhere with the help of a speech which any illiterate could have made.

THANK YOU NDTV and others in this profession. How LOW will you go before someone kick your ass in real.

Anil Kumar said...

There was an interesting observation from a columnist about the DEFINITION OF SECULARISM IN INDIA.

THIS DEFINITION IS UNDERSTOOD BY OUR ELITE TV NEWS MEDIA AS WELL.

IF BJP gets 170 seats or more then it's a SECULAR PARTY. OTHERWISE IT'S NON-SECULAR PARTY.

Riaz-NJ said...

YEP.. Rahul Shed Diapers... how about the potty training?

Rahul Viswanath said...

My bet is still on " Mayawati " ........ Pink Rulzzzz
;-)

http://rahulsfenestella.blogspot.com/2008/12/mr-rahul-gandhi-safe-bet.html

Ankit said...

How much did congie dongie paid u for promoting rahulbaba or u ....

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Rahul - Wait - next elections ?

Bertie said...

Lady.. If you write with this frequency for your bosserina's son, you don't have a chance in hell of getting a Padma Shree(assuming you are doing their bootlicking for that piece of trash called the Padma Shree). You need to be much more vitriolic of his opponents. Only then you will be considered. Because there are already a lot of others who have been doing much better lip service tirelessly. More than anyone else, YOU should be praying for a Congress victory. After all, it would only be then that you'd be able to get your hands on that piece of crap called the Padma Shree(that has been made so by the Congress).

And madam, I dare you to write something on the report by SIT about the cooking up of false killing reports by Teesta Setalvad.

You're a gutless wonder lady.

Anil Kumar said...

Shobhaji,
I think your focus is MISPLACED. As I said before that it has something to do with the kind of people you hang out with.

For some reason you have decided to IGNORE the achievements of Nitish Kumar in Bihar and Narender Modi in Gujarat.

Also I find Sachin Pilot, Scindia Jr. and Omar Abdullah speak more from the heart than Rahul Baba and have lot more positive energy. But the mainstream media and you never give them credit.

If we don't give credit where it's due then even a GOOD politician will think what's the point of working hard for people if he/she is still going to be ignored.

Rahul Baba may have shed his diaper but remember his B***S are now exposed and with his limited abilities they will be grabbed from left and right. Mayawati is looking for opportunity as well.

kala said...

Actually, Shobhaa de has written about Rahul because he is a bundle of contradictions. Throughout she made fun of him and this article itself is tongue in cheek. It is interesting to know about colourful people than boring people in this blog. This is not a newspaper article and Shobhaa is not a Sitaram yechury or Arun Shourie.

sam_the_ram said...

Shobhaaji:
Your email mentioned on this blog
shobhaa@shobaade.in is bouncing.

Do you have an alternate email?

Thanks,
Samir

kala said...

Bachchan writes beautiful blogs but he should stop picking every media rating of his films or blogs and telling his fans how unfair they are. Immediately his fans start verbally bashing up the media and in the process insulting his collegues. His fans are an uncultured, uncivilised lot. Long back Parveen babi suffered from persecution problem and other mental problems. Air France and French people and other western airlines and our own regional parties , all insult others in the name of race, language, region. What can you expect from nations where every second woman is a call girl.

Anil Kumar said...

Rahul is as boring as any other congress and BJP leader and in my opinion an inert and colourless personality. Shobha's attempts to make him colourful and interesting seemed like fabricated.

Bachhan dear seems to have lost common wisdom. The beautiful blogs are undone by his AULLAD-PPREM. There is nothing wrong in promoting their own but everything has a limit.

More than 90% (out of 500-600 comments everyday) of the comments from folks are about giving Amitabh bachhan personal advice and it's funny to see the mental level of educated class who blindly praise no matter what he says. Just few examples below

1) Sir please take proper rest
2) Did you get good sleep yesterday night. I was praying for you.
3) How is your neck. Did you take your medication.

It seems to me that Amitabh Bachhan has become habitual and loves these kind of emotional comments. If someone doesn't praise him he gets restless.

I still can't understand why he got offended by a news reporter calling Aishwarya Rai Bachhan a Manglik. The thing which should have offended him were Aishwarya's multiple partners, giving a kissing scene just before marriage and so on.

To put it bluntly...Buddha Sathiya gayaa hai. At the age of 67.

The kind of culture forced upon masses by TV and bollywood will soon have it's fruits.

Every 2nd women will become a call girl in this country as well. It's just a matter of time.

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