Bimbos and Rambhas...

Bimbo Bullock…?

Sandra Bullock happens to be one of Hollywood’s more intelligent and accomplished actresses. Audiences love her playing a tough cop or the female boss from hell.That has always been her positioning – “Bullock has ‘b@#*@s of steel”, declare her admirers in awe. It is true. Bullock has built her rock solid career on roles that emphasise her ‘macho’ appeal. So, if such a high profile star starts shouting from the rooftops that she “wants boobs” as she can’t wait to become a “sex object”, one should understand the irony built into the remark. Of course , she’s joking!! At least , one hopes she is! After Bullock went on and on about how disappointing it was that her brains were in her butt, and not in her boobs, she was asked about opting for silicon implants in order to rectify the problem. She gushed she was entirely open to the idea, and stated she was shopping around for enough silicon to qualify as a legit, honest to goodness bimbo with bumps in the right places. I thought it would end there. She’d made her point, and could we just get back to her next movie, please? Now comes a fresh set of quotes about Bullock’s liposuction fixation! When a journo asked her the secret of her toned body, she confessed it was “loads and loads of lipo.” Maybe she and her publicist have jointly decided it’s cool to talk down on the subject and make a monumental joke out of the current obsession for the Body Beautiful. But you know what, Ms. Bullock? These sort of send- ups tend to bite back. Fans take star quotes at face value and may not possess the requisite intelligence\sense of humour to laugh over these clever remarks. Unless of course Sandra is not jesting in the first place! Oh dear!
In our own context, our sense of humour is distinctly different. I watched ‘Quick Gun Murugan’ and realized I was the only person in a largely empty cinema hall who was laughing at Mango Dolly’s double entendres. Mango Dolly is played by the luscious Rambha in a Dolly Parton-style blond wig ( cleavage to match). Since the entire movie is a spoof ( not that funny, alas!), Rambha’s cheesy lines as she tries to seduce the hero, come off sounding slightly ridiculous instead of tongue-in-cheek. Our audiences cannot handle this sort of broad comedy, especiallycoming from a woman mouthing wicked lines. Rambha fell flat on her face along with the rest of the cast. Why? Her gangster’s moll portrayal played against the stereotype. The big difference between a Rakhi Sawant declaring her ( plastic) assets in print and a Sandra Bullock lamenting the absence of hers, is not the same thing. Rakhi’s silicon boosters are used blatantly to further objectify her sex appeal. Sandra mocks society’s pathetic hang -up on women’s bodies.Two dramatically opposed ends of the spectrum.

A couple of years earlier, our trusting fans were brainwashed by Kareena Kapoor into turning their backs on normal figures and embracing Size Zero . They were successfully deprogrammed and weaned away from their earlier fascination with the heroines’ generous curves. Bollywood depended heavily on padded bras before the advent of silicon. And no matter how generously endowed the leading lady may have been, it was mandatory to fill her brassiere with enough cotton wool to stuff a sofa. We loved our super voluptuous apsaras, and any woman under Size 12, was considered anorexic, even consumptive. When a producer said he wanted his heroine to look ‘healthy’, it meant just one thing – and the costume department swiftly got the message – pump up the bra. Today, our leading ladies give countless interviews on drastic weight loss programmes constructed by personal trainers so as to conform to the latest Gay director’s notion of a desirable female form (strictly no curves!). Poor Rani Mukherjee is resembling a dehydrated prune in her new release all because of that bloody diet she was put onto. We want our curves back – cellulite and all! We want the old fashioned ‘healthy’ heroine running around trees with body parts jiggling in time with her wriggling. To hell with Size Zero. Thank you, Sandra Bullock for providing a much needed debate on the subject. Rambha rocks, I say. Mind it!

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Okay guys. I am going to love you and leave you. I am off to Jo'Burg tonite, though why I'm flying Qatar Air to go to South Africa completely beats me!! I love the theme of the Lit Fest - it's called 'Words over Water', and apart from readings, interviews and other such 'literary' events spread across universities in Durban and Capetown, there will be music, dance and cinema, too. I'm greatly looking forward to meeting other writers, particularly those from South Africa. My laptop stays home. So, that makes me incommunicado till the 17th or 18th. But I have a feeling I won't be able to stay away from this space for such a long time. If you do hear from me, consider it a bonus - for me! But before I bid adieu, dear Blogdosts, here's a tip - check out the September issue of 'Savvy'. You may - ahem- recognise the cover girl.... and be interested in her story. Hint: Her name begins with an 'S'. Ha ha.... yenjoy!

Oh... one more thing. I'll be posting again, later tonight. The Mumbai Marathon will soon be upon us (17th Jan 2010). I 'd bravely attempted the Dream Run a couple of years ago for 'CHILDLINE' - an NGO that is doing exemplary work in the area of child protection. Please help me break a few records this time!! Not speed. Funds ! More in the next post. I've spoken to Shahid Kapur this morning and requested him to run for us. Dil Boley Hadippa..... I hope I got that right!

S