Once Upon a Time... Column 8

Voila!! 'The Sacred Cow' in all her glory!!!
Sorry, I didn't get to click Sidharth since I was in a ridiculous rush. But I have asked him to send website details. Shall share once I have them.



Masala ‘Dossa’ in Thane jail….

We’ve all heard about a dog’s life…. but if you ask me, a Don’s life is far superior. Especially if you happen to be lavishly housed in one of Mumbai’s more high profile jails. Getting free board and lodging, (with several attractive perks, like booze and biryani thrown in), doesn’t sound like a punishment to me – there are several deprived people in India who’d kill for such a privilege – literally . Amusingly enough,even jails have their specific branding and positioning! Arthur Road jail ( where, Kasab, one of the most wanted men in the world hangs out), is the best address in town and can be compared to Alibag. Every upmarket, upwardly mobile conman wants to live there. Image ka sawaal hai, bhai! This is where elite prisoners like Abu Salem and Mustafa Dossa relax and conduct their business. This is also where things can get really, really rough. Like it happened last week. Salem was attacked by a sharpened spoon ( just like they show in gangster films), and has since been moved to the far more down market Taloja jail in New Mumbai. Dossa has also had to relocate and is now lording it over inside the Thane jail. These moves must seriously damage the reputation of the two superdons, and impact their designer lifestyle. What a comedown for guys who are used to all possible luxuries while serving out their sentences. Reportedly, Salem’s cell is papered over with enticing pin-ups, and his mobile phone is loaded with juicy images of assorted , semi-nude babes. His beauty routine involving various imported face products, is well taken of, as well. And Monica Bedi’s ex- boy friend makes sure he looks good, even if the going is bad. Dossa’s priorities are slightly different. He plays the power game by throwing money around. Their concerns involve supremacy issues, and both prisoners rightly believe it’s all about one-upmanship. Since Dossa is looked after by the elite D-Gang, he obviously has superior resources. Salem, apparently , is finding it hard to compete. Reminds one of socialite turf wars in Mumbai. One socialite has more oomph but less lolly. Another, all the lolly in the world, but zilch sex appeal. So far, the knives have been out, but not sharpened spoons! But yes, spoons ( or chamchas) do play a key role in establishing social superiority, especially in media battles.
Amusing that in the pecking order of the city, there isn’t that much of a difference between the fierce in- fighting that pits socialite against socialite, don against don. Mumbai is like that only….musclepower rules. And there is nothing sexier than going for each other’s throat in public. Criminals and socialites share the same dream after all – they both want absolute control over the city of Gold.
Ah well…was it always this way, one wonders.
I am ready to rewind – are you??