Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Who will bell the media cat??

The media world is on fire ! The wildest and weirdest rumours are doing the rounds, about the unlikeliest of people ( I want to believe them all - that's what rumours are for!). Let's call it 'Silence of the Lambs - Part 2' . Or better still, 'Sleeping with the Enemy's Enemies." But mediawallas have suddenly turned coy and principled about delving further into the dirty controversy ( potentially bigger than 'Watergate'), even though by now it's a khullam khulla' affair. Let's just call it an 'Open' book ( take a bow, Manu Joseph!). It's out there in the public domain - and nobody has denied the contents of the (planted?) transcripts so far. Amazingly enough, even the usually belligerent and\or shrill tv anchors are soft peddling the issues raised ( senior journos pimping for corporates and political parties ). But... worse, much worse than anything on those incriminating tapes ( how I love that Roberto Cavalli gown tid bit!) is the scarey scenario involving wholesale and entirely illegal\unconstitutional phone tapping of citizens. Despite the seriousness of this scandal,suddenly, scoop hungry mediawallas have discovered a conscience and claim to be hugely conscious and aware of 'ethical' issues while waiting to 'authenticate' those damaging tapes. No such reservations in the past while going ahead with other sensational exposes involving non-journos. Could it be a case of everybody being nanga in the hamam? Who will bell the cat? Who can afford to ?


This appeared in the Bombay Times on monday.

Forward March…. one- two, one-two…

Here’s the good news first …. to my vast and eternal relief, after my FB column last week, I have been ‘unfriended’ by loads of people who weren’t my friends to begin with. This week I plan to lose a few more internet pests…. the ‘Forward-wallas’. I’m sure there are many of you reading this who feel the same way about those infernal ‘forwards’ that crowd the inbox and eat into precious time – forget about reading the stuff, deleting all that unsolicited rubbish takes hours as well. Besides…. It seriously affects my blood pressure! I definitely don’t want to read idiotic, mainly sexist jokes ( which jerk thinks them up?). I don’t want to acquire instant ‘knowledge’ through processed info, I have zero time for nostalgia and listening to a compilation of songs from the ‘sixties, I feel totally bugged when someone sends chain mail featuring kitschy images of Gods and Goddesses ( “ forward this to 15 friends and wait for the miracle”), my stress levels cannot handle alarmist faux medical stuff ( with grisly images of shredded heart muscles, pulped brains, mashed up limbs), warning me about all the stuff that could go horribly wrong…. if I didn’t pay close attention.Morbid and badly written poems ? I’ll live. ‘Then and Now’ homilies? Keep them. ‘This is a good one’ – generally isn’t! ‘Don’t miss this one!’ screams , “ Hit ‘Delete’ instantly!” And to think most of these useless emails are sent by people you know! Maybe, even like!! Admire!!!
I am all for setting up a ‘Ban those Forwards’ Club. I wonder about the compulsive ones who send out ten or more of these nuisance value mails per hour. Don’t they have a life? Worse, do they think you don’t? Do they also have nothing better to do but hit those keys? Would they bother to send out these horrible, intensely annoying communications if they had to pay for them? I doubt it. Bhejo, bhejo… because it’s free, boss! In my experience, men are guiltier than women in this department. Perhaps it is their way of bonding\ flirting… but there are far many more men out there, spending valuable time, effort and energy forwarding and re-, re-, re- forwarding junk. The same chaps recycle gyaan from all sorts of obscure sources and bombard the unwary. Male columnists more than their female counterparts, carpet bomb the unsuspecting with their pearls of wisdom week after tiresome week. There is just no escaping the onslaught. Come X’Mas and remote acquaintances from across the globe begin the annual torture – sending a month-by-month newsletter informing mainly indifferent, unfortunate recipients about Cathy’s tooth extraction and Uncle Eddy’s prostrate problem. Do we want to know? Do we care a rat’s err… bum? The time for making New Year resolutions is upon us. Come on everybody… let’s be nice to one another. Let’s stop this nasty anti-social activity in the coming year. But I am making one exception : Rajni jokes. Keep them rolling.Why? Don’t you know? We are, because Rajni is. Mind it.
It’s all about timing. I’m talking about ‘Guzaarish’. I’m sure it’s a terrific film – deep, dark and allegorical. But give us a break, Bhansali. Had it been pitched as a ‘X’Mas release ( Hrithik as Jesus, Aishwarya as Mary Magdalene ), at least the believers ( in and out of Goa) would have watched it, curiosity ke vaastey. Euthanasia? Most people can’t pronounce the word, much less understand what it means. Tough subject to pitch to an audience still high on ‘Golmal -3’. Brave man, our Bhansali. But he needs that magic wand more than his hero for a box office miracle to happen.


Anonymous said...

Are you a fast bowler?

Seema said...

I agree with the "forward mail" irritating stuff. Who can forget what damage it did to the image of Tommy Hilfiger so much so that Oprah had to call another show with him to explain the misunderstanding and prove that it was untrue and a work of some mischievous person. But the damage was done. The marketability of the brand name Tommy Hilfiger was maligned.

What about mails which come back to you after a while...??? thats even more irritating...they should all have an expiry date!!

So far as Guzaarish is concerned I totally disagree with Ms. Dey...This one is a must watch!! Its Prim Proper, Sharp, Crisp & what an awesome screenplay!!
Bansali has surely learnt from his mistakes..and come out Winner!!

A look at Guzaarish is worth than going to Golmaal 3 and laughing your head of like an idiot!!

I would recommend a National award for both...and who ever said Aishwariya Rai can't act?? I would like to meet them!!

Another Kiran In NYC said...

so now i want to know about this scandal-du-jour! Kya kahani hai?

Forwards showards ke liye junk mail button hai na?

Guzarish was an overfunded, overdesigned Broadway musical without the Broadway. Bhansali's experience directing the opera Padmavati in Paris has permanently ruined him for cinema. Hritik was kaafi ok in it though. Aishwarya... was like always... just there!

In other news our blueturbanned PMji needed to get a fire burning under his policy ridden bum. Nitish Kumar seems to have lighted the spark to the dried tinder. Tis a good thing. Thoda balance aa jayega. So I guess baaki sab kuch is theek thaak?

Sparkling said...

The MEDIA circus; well, it's that time when the 'messers become the messies' - not my line, I'll let Chandler take the credit :p
We wait and we'll watch.

Count me in on that parade of 'Ban the forwards' club. I can't take it anymore! Gmail is kind enough to keep increasing our space!

As for SLB, the movie was bad, really bad. I repeat, not good at all! It was a joke, literally! But the cinematography was brilliant. However, I did have a sense of deja vu. Saawariya, anybody? :(

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

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honey said...

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Divya Virmani said...

Guzarish was just an okay movie. HR was at good but not so if you compare to some of his previous releases. Whereas Ash cannot stop over-acting... since she's become the brand ambassador of everything out there and entangled the most respected bachelor of India, she barely cares to act... ughhh! Still don't understand how she landed in the most reputed family... ?

Anonymous said...

Ban forwards? You gotta be kidding me! The flood of inane mails is the sole reason we countless office-going almost-zombies stay alive!

Now, if forwards are really a problem for all of you, use Mail rules to filter 'em out. Helpful Hint: 93.4% of all forwards' subject titles start with "FW:".

krutika said...
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krutika said...
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kakaka said...

Guzaarish is the copy of The inside sea, a fantastic spanish movie, it is based on the life of a spanish guy who was the first to request for euthanasia legally.
After stealing the script from such a prominent movie, this guy claims openly it is an original script.
And not all Indians are foolish enough to believe this man.

Rhett said...

omg did you say guzaarish?! o jesus mary peter joseph and all the other saints in heaven! omg why that man has done it again hasn't he! euthanasia sounds like a tiny country come out of the USSR.

goodluck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
goodluck said...

If one is honest and transparent in real life, there is no need to worry about phones being tapped.
Better late than never. The Hindu, TOI are acknowledging the tapes existence and its implications.
Euthanasia is a serious subject and it should have been by someone like Shyam Benegal. And SLB is too plastic and the actors he has chosen are not the best in terms of acting such roles.

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Pooja Rathore said...

guzaarish not boring but it will not attract many people to the theatre.
Hrithik was fine( his dancing skills shinning), aishwariya( and the victorian gowns worn by her, all she had to do is nurse hrithik and handle the gowns well and walk and move around in style( the model in her still very much alive, i dont find her acting natural it looks made up) and yes use those scorpion(her sunsugn scorpio) eyes to the core she did not have much role in the movie. iagree she was just there as put rightly by blogger @another kiran from Nyc.

Radhika Gupta said...

those forwards are seriously very irritating... after watching bhansali's movies i hv felt that the man doesn't make movies for the purpose of entertaining the it black, saawariya or guzaarish.. it think he makes movies for his own work satisfaction which shows his passion towards film-making...

Lucy said...

Ms. Dey, how come you have not blogged so far on all that was said on KOFFEE WITH KARAN?

Raman said...

Guzarish was a bad film. I know, the explanations of a serious subject, un-intelligent and illiterate audience, but then, what amde 'Taare Zameen Par' a blockbuster which did not even have a love angle or good looking superstars. The fil Guzarish is bad. Period.

Bling said...

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*Aham* said...

forward senders should be given a slap backwards. LOl.

i wouldnt mind if forwards are for some genuine social cause, about a cause one stands up for.. and takes the pain of drafting the mail.

we sometimes need a crash course in online etiquette.

but most are ruthlessly forwards that were forwarded from someone who got forwarded from some one else. It almost seems like a ringa-ringa-roses kind of email. And silly it is because, with every forward they fail to realise that we are giving out the email id of the other person...

It would be prudent to use the "B CC" option (blind carbon copy) so that the email ids are hidden..

But khair, poor people these forward senders...

they must be really as bored as a fat kid on a seesaw.


wonder what new shade has Sanjay NEELA Bhansali tried in guzaarish.

after that spectacle (read fashionstreet ka goggles) called Saawariya, may be he thought he should try the blue eyed heroine again instead...

poor he... bechaari bahu bachchan ka sadde satti is happenning..

and also another name associated with the Saawarya is

aiyoo "barkha raani, zara chamm ke barso"...

well, manu joseph should be applauded for this open book. this seems to be a desi version of whats called sex...lies and videotape - Telecom Lies and Audiotape.

Aiyyooo! though it is mast and jabardast for our voyeuristic eyes and ears, i wonder if there is any law that protects privacy too... I mean, investigation ke liye it is okay.. but too much of intruding in privacy is much much naa.


im bored of this scandal and that scandal... uff... lets find a new topic..

we can trust our male basanti KJo to rescue us with his gossips and jibes... tadkaa maar ke in Koffee with Karan.

i find the statements by Bitchwanti - Sonam and Fakewanti - Deepika on the show about their loverboy (who has now become some airaa-gairaa Tom-Towel-Harry for them )absolutely hilarious. They dont understand that with the mention of he and his condom stories so much in news, Smita Thackray might make him the brand ambassador of Mukti Aids Foundation.

gayee bhains in the water...

And Chintu ko toh naturally gussa aayega...

harcharan bains said...



Harcharan Bains on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 7:40pm
Note: I had posted a part of this story some days ago. I had wanted to assess then if virtue meeting a tragic end is more touchng than a virtuous but tragic protagonist battling against and winning over adversity. I am posting the full story below. Will be grateful to rreceive comments giving comparative assessment of the two versions: .

"Said a nightingale to a snake: "There is a little poison in my heart too. When its pain stings sharp, I sing and feel light as a feather. Why do you never sing?"

A cuckoo heard the nightingale, smiled and said, "Snakes have no ears and he can't hear your words."

The nightingale became pensive and said to herself,"How sad he can't hear my songs. There is no music in his life." And she wondered if that was why the snake had to live with so much poison in his soul. "I must find some way to help him sing," she found herself mumbling, and the melancholy strain in her song filled the valley.

The snake slithered into a dark hole. This saddened the nightingale even more. The valley reverberated with her pain all night. In the morning, the sun searched every branch, but the nightingale was nowhere to be found. Said a little flower to the sun,"She has gone to some unknown valleys to get some music for the snake who lives here."

"Amen !" said the sun, and went about his work, too sad deep within his heart as he had seen something that looked like a nightingale's body lying peacefully still close to where the snake lived. But the sun did not want to violate the innocence of the the little flower, and remained quiet.

A distant star, who had been watching all this, rubbed his eyes under the glare of the sun and shouted from afar, " She sang incessantly all night, and that drilled a hole in her throat. Her last song before day break was a promise to fetch music from strange lands for the snake and others. She left as she had lived -- singing."

The thorny plants that infested the forest did not believe the star. "The nightingale had been the cause of too much noise here , sang for the snake alone and did nothing to solve the problems of the poorest among us, " they complained to the sun.

The sun looked at them, smiled and moved over from the forest. "Did the nightingale sing for the snake alone?" he murmured to himself. He glanced over his shoulder and looked at the thorny plants, who had already forgotten their complaints against the nightingale and were lost in their daily fights against one another. "The snake did not hear the nightingale's song because he could not. But the thorny plants have ears," thought the sun, and his heart was filled with pity for the plants.
As the sun prepared to set over the darkening jungle, he heard a soft tune he thought he had heard many times before. It was a song overflowing with love and compassion, and it seemed to waft over the gentle wings of the breeze. Suddenly, the sun could see a luminous ball of feathers flying across the horizon. It was glowing with strange light that remsembled neither his own shine nor the cool rays of the moon. His heart was filled with happiness the like of which he had never experienced before.
"The stubborn little girl can never stop singing songs of love. She mocks her destiny. I fear for her life," said the sun to himself, but in the heart of his hearts he was happy, and he knew that there was nothing to fear for the nightingale. But he wished the thorny plants would understand the nightingale's song. "Perhaps then they would have less of the hatred in their hearts which they have come to enjoy but which consumes them day and night."

Suddenly, he was reminded of the power of innocence, and he went on his diurnal journey with peace in his heart.

Shri Ram Ayyangar said...

I was expecting some fireworks on Barkha Dutt/Vir Singhvi episode in 'Who will bell the media cat'?? but was disappointed. I don't know if you have written any post on this elsewhere. The most vocal journos on TV eluded to appear when they were invited by Karan Thapar for his chat show and that speaks it all.

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