Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Who's afraid of Pam's boobs...?

Thanks to our common blogdost and my special friend, Aparna, I have been able to share some of the 'Shobhaa at Sixty' coverage in this space.
This appeared in the Asian Age on Saturday

Who’s afraid of Pamela’s boobs….?

Poor Pamela Anderson. Imagine the woman’s plight…her entire identity is located in her mammary glands. The world largely knows her for the size of her breasts. It is as if the rest of her doesn’t exist… doesn’t really count. Pam is a woman attached to the world’s most talked about boobs. And most people talk to her chest. Good sport that she obviously is, this famous Playboy Bunny is not complaining. She admitted candidly to a Mumbai reporter, “My assets get me in the door.” That’s truthful. But that’s also smart. Here’s a woman who has made a small fortune flaunting her twin peaks. Her cup size is what has taken her places. She is not embarrassed to admit as much. If anything, her bouncies are her best friends. The ‘Baywatch’ star is finally in the land of the Kamasutra… clad in a clingy, diaphanous white saree, Pam richly deserves the nearly 1 crore of rupees a day she’ll be earning as a participant in a much watched reality show. With her entry, all the other Bigg Boss bombshells ( past and present) appear totally pheeka…. under developed. Perhaps, it is the arrival of Bazooka Pam that prompted the Indian government to suddenly wake up to the ‘X- Rated’ content of some shows and clamp a few meaningless restrictions on them. By pushing back the slots of shows that beam ‘objectional and vulgar’ content to 11pm, some prudish babus must be patting themselves on the back for saving the country from moral degradation.Give us a break, fellas. The I & B ministry officials should get a few basics in place first. Bared breasts and crude abuses no longer send shock waves across the nation. We in India are used to the sight of uncovered bosoms ( women happily breast feed their babies in crowded train compartments) and the gaalis Raakhi Sawant spouts on her show are mild compared to what one hears from politicians and members of parliament in public. Balasaheb Thackeray spares nobody when he decides to lash out – his abuses cover generations and involve animals, sisters, mothers, brothers, friends and enemies. So what? Does that lead to rioting on the streets? If this silly directive is designed to protect our children, someone please tell those fellows, desi children rarely sleep before midnight. We are not British. Our kids are seen and heard. Annoying but true. In which middle class Indian family are the bachchas packed off to bed at 7pm after supper at 6pm? Television time largely remains unmonitored and unrestricted. It is considered bonding time. Families that watch heaving bosoms and hectic pelvic thrusts together, stay together. Big deal. What kids watch (or aren’t supposed to) ought to be the parents’ and not the government’s responsibility. Going by this new ‘Adults Only’ ruling, what about commercial Hindi films that feature the most provocative ‘item songs’ and are peppered with abuses with actors screaming ‘Bastard’ routinely? Kids watch those and worse… so why the double standards? One set of rules for television programming, another for cinema?
Our society is schizophrenic and confused. News bulletins carry detailed reports about a villainous cop called S.P.S. Rathore, who molested Ruchika Girhotra, a teenager, but are not allowed to carry clips from reality shows that are deemed offensive. What could be worse or more obscene than the smug smile of a sexual predator whose defenceless victim ( Ruchika) committed suicide? There are rapist cops on the loose in nearly every city of India. The tv reportage of such cases is anything but coy, restrained or discreet. Sensationalising news while focusing on the gory aspects of crime has become the rule, given the unhealthy TRP wars being fought fiercely by the big players. So called ‘talent hunts’ on television, featuring precocious kids indulging in the most risqué dance moves, remain unmonitored and accessible to any and everybody. In any case, what’s the internet for if not to surf? How many parents check what their precious bachchalog watch obsessively for hours on end?
This new government diktat is meaningless and unfair. All reality shows are phoney , most are fixed. This is the space in which appalling taste meets eager eyeballs. So be it. The ultimate power remains in the hands of viewers. The person who holds the remote control, is the sole decision maker as to what is acceptable viewing and what isn’t. Indians are not sheep. Let us , the viewers, be the ones to take a call on whether or not we wish to ogle Ms. Anderson’s ample assets or clean our ears after Ms. Sawant is done with her raving and ranting on camera. Whether it is the bleeped out cuss words on ‘Emotional Atyachaar’ or the aggro attitude displayed by Roadies on a rampage – this is the 21st century, folks. Anything goes! So long as it sells. Before the government gets into the act and dictates what our kids can watch and when, how about a thorough scrutiny of what constitutes actual pornography in today’s transparent times – like the live telecast of parliamentary proceedings? That is perhaps the only time concerned parents feel like shielding the eyes and plugging the ears of impressionable kids. Pamela’s boobs harm nobody. But the atrocious behaviour of some of our netas definitely damages the delicate psyches of India’s youth. Pamela will pick up her pay packet and jet off to Malibu to be with her two sons Dylan, 13 and Brandon, 14. We, in India, will be left panting for more. Unless , of course, those amazingly canny tv bosses locate an international has- been with even bigger body parts, or a local starlet with a filthier vocabulary than our Raakhi’s.
Toba! Toba! What will those moralistic masterjis in the I & B ministry do then? 3.30 a.m may become the new slot for prime time viewing. Even at that ghastly hour , our pesky kids will be wide awake and watching.Bottoms up, everyone.

All quiet on the Manmohan front. And Fearless Radia is busy sending out 'clarifications'.
Dekho, na? A compromised judiciary, a compromised army, a compromised political system, a compromised police force.... and now, a compromised media! What remains???
I know : Rajni!!


cmpershad said...

`“My assets get me in the door.”

Then they become liabilities :)

Anonymous said...

Well said. Totally agree. If parents are okay to show their kids Bigg Boss who is Government to stop? Ultimately its a democratic country, we have a right to watch anything that we want to.
One more thing, how can you forget the vulgarity in the telly serials? For instance the No 1 Saas-Bahu saga of India, 'Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' had all its 'bahu's raped, having children from all its brother-in-laws in all possible permutation & combination. A girl marrying her mother's own brother. When all these happened I& B ministry was sleeping. Now with Bigg Boss they woke up, reason is quite simple, they did not watch KSBKBT but are religiously watching Bigg Boss! So am I.

anamika said...

Giovernment needs some thing useless to talk about naa... by the way I so agree that Pamela Anderson show was totally phikkkaaaa.

Big boss crores was some what loss only..they should have asked Dolly to show her assets and it would have gained much shocked people TRP.:d:d

Meher Manda said...

As suhel Seth had rightly put it,the show timings were changed,so that the babus,after a hard day's work of acquiring money,would return home late,and get to see Pamela Anderson.They deserve their fair share of entertainment too. :)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

this is written by a woman of 60 years old. great.... kya jamaana aa gya hai.

Nilu said...

Loved the line - "This is the space in which appalling taste meets eager eyeballs."

goodluck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
goodluck said...

I agree mostly with your viewpoint. But abuse in reality shows is different. It cheapens the image of the victim. We have enough loudmouths in society. But otherwise all is well. For example, most avid viewers of bigboss were most offended by Dolly Bindra than the intimate scenes by that disgusting trio Veena, Ashmit and Sarah. Because Dolly Bindra proved to be a control freak by making decisions on what the inmates can eat, what they can say, with whom they can interact etc. etc. When the viewers saw the injustice done to Sammer Soni,they just revolted. They did not side with the evil. So all is well with the viewers of even low brow shows like this. Imagine is owned by so called enlightened souls like Prannoy Roy and yet they air shows like Rakhi's and Pichle Janam. Have they gone morally bankrupt in order to keep their channels alive and kicking? As for Pamela, she was more dignified than Veena, Sarah etc. There is that lack of cunningness in her compared to our desi pativratas

Radhika Gupta said...

The whole episode shows how hypocritical our ministers are...i think people these days are intelligent enough to decide what they should see and what they shouldn't... changing the time slot is really illogical.. n there are bigger problems than a controversial reality show that need to be the concern...

Anonymous said...


Maria said...

"Families that watch heaving bosoms and hectic pelvic thrusts together, stay together."

- Laughably true.
Had you stood up for election, you'd so have gotten all my votes.

Thoroughly entertaining and enlightening post, as always. :)


I AM OUT OF WORDS !! ( and lemme assure you ma'am.... and that's a RARE incident )

When are you standing for the elections ma'am vote will go for you .
I loooooooove your style ma'am's like "DHISHOOM" ( like the punching sound in our dear old retro movies )
STRAIGHT ON THE FACE ! three thousand cheers to you ! :-D

newtoblog said...

Well said and rightly so!

Ragavi said...

FWD: - Dear Editor, Deccan Chronicle

After reading “Monitoring minds” column (appeared on 20th Nov 2010 in oped) written by Shobha De, I thought I should alert the writer and also inform the my favourite newspaper managment to go through their text before publishing it. I have high regards for Deccan Chronicle’s columns. I was shocked reading Shoba de’s column on Pamela’s plight. The writer says “Bared breasts and crude abuses no longer send shock waves across the nation. We, in India, are used to the sight of uncovered bosoms (women happily breastfeed their babies in crowded train compartments)..

When you see a mother in the train feeding her kid, your eyes would not see the breasts. You would remember about your mother. But when Pamela shakes her body, you don’t see your mother in her, but something else. This is the basic difference. Don’t compare things for which you don’t even understand. I agree with your views, but this comparison is filthy.

Adyar, chennai.

shivansh's blog said...

Rightly said Ms.De..... Indian govt is one confused white sheep which, at one end, legalises the Gay-Lesbian thing and on the other hand considers shows like Big-Boss etc. as taboos on name of Indian culture...

Seema said...

When are we going to get REAL? Right from parliamentarians to Khoa everything thing is so unreal in our country. The irony is, those who don't know how to behave in the parliament are preaching the lesson of abuse & behaviour. The are the ones who use the most unparliamentary language & behaviour which is more hazardous than anything else seen on Tv.

Seema said...

One should try to look beyond Pamela's assets ... why can't we see the kind of social work she does...She was the one who exposed the KFC's cruelty to chickens ...I'm sure none of our politicians do half the kind of social work she does... Grow up people!!

Jyostna said...

I completely disagree with one line here "Bared breasts and crude abuses no longer send shock waves across the nation. We, in India, are used to the sight of uncovered bosoms (women happily breastfeed their babies in crowded train compartments)"

sharmila said...

Strange in "land of the Kama-Sutra" ....their's no "oomph"...I barely noticed indian girls doesn't looks sexy. Bizarre!
Only babes I remembered is Zennie and Helen...B.B and M.M..Ava Garnier now Pammie
all these women who came from broken-family...and continue the journey with broken-love lives.
Good-luck to wonderful Divas alive ...may you find peace!

Anil Kumar said...

Thats a CHUTTAD argument when you say that because politicians, society in crowded train compartments use abusive language then its perfectly alright to bring th same filthy stuff to your living room in front of the kids and family.

How much did you get paid to stand by this line???

By the same argument you should try to bring up your grand kids with filthiest choicest word when they are 2 year old and as soon as the girls attain puberty they should be encouraged to show their twin assets to give deflection in the hanging thread of old uncles . Whats wrong with that???

Is that what you are communicating Ms. De?? THINK AGAIN.

Neena said...

This view of yours sounded more like a satire or lampoon to me in context to Indian culture which is going hay-wire...very impressive

But at the same time, I felt the need of shifting the show was important in order to send msg to the channels that crude language and vulgarity will not be definitely influences young minds and it is quite sadistic..instead of talking about remote control, why people producing the show can't take some moral responsibility of the content that they show...

Pratibha said...

I agree with Adya from Chennai, your comparison of motherhood to Pamela Anderson's breasts is totally outrageous.You need to put a thought before you write such are insulting motherhood and breast feeding with your confused and schizophrenic writing....just because whosoever's pesky kids you are talking about watch shows at 3 am doesnt mean that these kind of vulgar shows be licensed at 9 am slot...because my kids are awake then, not at 3 am.....

sharmila said...

Hi Pratibha
what so bad about Pamela's boobs?
is her life she can do what she want's with her body
btw she's also a mother of kids nuh.
le Part de marche is to vise huge number of audience.
To sell publicite spots etc etc.
Calling these show vulgar.....but sex sells!
strange in the land of kama-sutra you seems so stuck up!
ha ha ha

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