This appeared in Mumbai Mirror...
Why I feel sorry for mistresses….
Let’s face it, which woman would want to be a mistress when she could be a wife? Which is why I feel sorry for the ladies who long to attach a ‘Mrs’ tag to their names, but can’t. Then there’s the sympathy factor extended to long suffering wives of straying husbands.Ummm. That’s another story. Especially if the wife turns out to be murderous. Like Ramesh Kumari,who hired a few thugs to bump off her naughty husband… all because of the ‘souten’. A bit extreme, to say the least. But then, politico Deepak Bhardwaj’s life and death were extreme as well. His murder was much more than just another 5 crore supari job. Mr. Moneybags (estimated wealth: 3000 crores) had a pretty complicated existence. His wife, Ramesh clearly wanted to uncomplicate it. There was a young mistress in the picture. And get this : Ramesh’s son Nitesh Kumar ( prime suspect), was sharing the woman’s sexual favours with his own dad. There was all that serious money at stake…serious grief was being given to Ramesh on several fronts. It was time for some action.She promptly talked her son into helping her. Nitesh did what any hot headed, idiotic, avaricious ass of a man would do – he fell into a neat trap. Now,Baljeet Sehrawat, the man who masterminded the gunning down of Nitesh’s father, has named discarded wife Ramesh, as a co-conspirator. And Nitesh is under arrest. There goes his rocking sex life. And there goes the money! No mistress. No lolly. That’s how the dice rolls.
It is the mistress in this sordid saga who intrigues me the most. The two men she was bedding ( father and son) , are both out of her life . Now what? Is the party really and truly over for her? I would say it may have just begun! Our society is very confused about how to deal with the ‘other woman’. Of course, that largely depends on who she is. And who keeps her. If the adventurous twosome are considered powerful and influential enough, the mistress’ dodgy status in the relationship is rarely questioned. People bitch behind her back. But then, people bitch. Period. If she’s smart, she rewrites the rules. She refuses to hide in corners or act apologetic. Once she decides to brazen it out, society hastily backs off. Acceptance follows. They become an unofficial ‘couple’ and everybody moves on. But God help her if she decides to play coy or lie. She is instant dead meat.Ostracized, isolated and despised . She is left with very few choices... or friends.One choice is to care a damn and carry on with the affair. The other is to stay below the social radar.
What do such women do?There really should be a guide book for mistresses, given the growing numbers. Here are a few options: Do not antagonize the wife and kids still further by rubbing their faces into the relationship. Be polite to the family at all times. Discretion is not a bad word – use it. Don’t trash the wife or the children…remember, they are the ones at the receiving end. Don’t embarrass yourself or your boyfriend by showing up uninvited anywhere. Follow a few , simple ground rules - stop harrowing others to resolve your personal problems. Don’t ask mutual friends to take sides. Never explain and never complain! As for wives who decide they’d rather hang on to the surname and money - enjoy both, and to hell with love-shove and similar nonsense. Mistresses also have to come to terms with a few inconveniences (mainly, disrupted travel plans, messy credit card issues). Whatever works.
Clearly, the Bhardwaj family was unaware of this protocol. They opted for a short cut. Unfortunately, the short cut in turn short circuited their elaborate plans. It was nothing but greed that did them in. But what about the mistress? Is she in shock? Will she mourn the death of Bhardwaj? Could she be worried about her own life? Chances are she’s hard at work to find a new patron. If she is young, hot and skilled,she will land the desired candidate quickly. here are any number of Deepaks and Niteshes floating around. A gal’s got to take her chances when she can. And her chance is right now. What is life without a risk or two? Even if that involves murder! Whoever said a mistress’ life is easy?