Last night at 4 .am. I awoke from a very restless, disturbed 'sleep' (if I can call it that), to an eerie silence..... and in pitch darkness. My heart froze.Another attack? Another crisis? It took me under a minute to figure out the electricity had tripped in our building..... the a\c's comforting hum was missing...it's nightly lullaby silenced. I drew the curtains and looked out at the placid bay stretched beyond my bedroom windows.... so chillingly close to Badhwar Park, where the terrorists had landed exactly a week earlier. The moon had set. The blackness of the night was broken by the twinkling lights of fishing trawlers in the distance. What haul would they be bringing in at dawn?? Abruptly,a familiar vista had turned threatening and ominous in seven short days.Everything and everybody looked 'suspicious'. I tried to go back to sleep..... but even the creaking bathroom door made me sit up with a start. For the first time since my childhood, I kept the lights on, waiting for daybreak.... and reassurance.... struggling unsuccessfully to battle the demons inside my head.
I am certain there are millions of Mumbaikars experiencing the same trauma.... it is a city that needs collective counselling. Adults, teenagers, senior citizens, kids..... we can't seem to get our troubled minds to reconnect with other realities..... talk about anything else. When we meet.....WORDS AREN'T NECESSARY. Complete strangers connect through glances that convey their state of mind.
When we hear stray scraps of conversation about the attacks...... we feed on every tiny scrap. It is morbid and macabre. People are ready to believe the wildest rumours. There is an attempt by one and all to 'understand' what happened to Mumbai. But as of now, we are dazed and despairing...does no one out there care???????