Friday, November 6, 2009

Save those kisses, sir...

Such a strange day. Spent it listlessly looking at old diaries. Yes, I write detailed diaries - always have, since I was a little girl And all the entries sound like columns!! Even at age 12! Well, today I was searching for something specific. But I got so distracted reading about an encounter with Richard Gere a few years ago at Parmeshwar Godrej's palatial home that I fell off my chair laughing. He is quite a character. For all his Buddhist beliefs and closeness to the Dalai Lama, he is far from humble. In fact, I found him sharp, sardonic and arrogant. This was just before he got embroiled in the Shilpa Shetty kissing controversy and had an arrest warrant out for him! I'm not sure about the status of that warrant. Perhaps, his long absence from Mumbai has something to do with it?? That infamous kissing clip is worth studying, though. It was replayed on some tv channel recently, and I still feel it was offensive and downright cheeky, given the context ( an AIDS awareness programme for truckers). This was no friendly peck on the cheek, it was a full-on , slobbering attack, with Gere plastering several noisy smooches all over Shilpa's face. The poor girl looked startled as she awkwardly pushed him away - but he had her firmly in his grip, in that old Broadway position ( amorous man flips giggly bimbo over backwards) - and Shilpa could do nothing but grin and bear it.

There are many desi Geres in our lechy society, and a lot of women find it hard to fend them off when the ridiculous 'mwaah mwaah' nonsense takes place . I resist with all my might ... and succeed most times. I begin by doing a 'namastey' from a safe distance. If that is ignored, I extend my hand. Often, that's the mistake. Once the lech gets that hand, he refuses to let go. Worse, he pulls hard on that hand and shoves his horrible face close to yours. Wrenching the hand away at this point, is rather difficult. That leaves two options : you nimbly dodge that disgusting kiss by sharply turning to greet someone else ( the wrist can get seriously damaged during such a manoeuvre), or the lech ends up kissing the back of your head - and looking supremely foolish! It's better than submitting to unwarranted , unsolicited and totally ugh 'chummas' from randoms.

I decide who gets a kiss from me. It is my option. Anybody who tries that old slimey trick, risks getting publicly snubbed. GEDDIT????


Saif-Kareena. Ranbir-Katrina. Two pairs. Two movies. Lots of money riding on both. I prefer the latter. What's your verdict??


Another Kiran In NYC said...

hahahahaha in social situations, I have been caught out by the namaste/handshake/kissyface dance so often. Its almost funny when it happens. Both sides totally miscued so its all awkward and so end up almost slapping or body slamming each other in the confusion.

That hot old rodent loving man Gere dosent GET India despite the visits to McLeodganj. His connections are at a rarified level because the free Tibet movement almost entirely has a western sensibility. Reference to geographical context does not figure in that concept or equation.

He did what would have been seen as mere hijinks to lighten a sombre mood at a AIDS benefit in the west. Poor Shilpa. Her PR man worked too hard then to make the Gere Kissyface thing go away. Perhaps he is too tired now to rein her big Phish in now :)

So is it true that Deepika aur Ranbir ki jodi is no more? Together now.... awwwwwwwww

санжог said...

I have no Idea why some men are so ridiculous. It is absolutely necessary to respect other person's space culture.

you should try the bow, coz it saves you from bad breath!! If he is too sticky you can always give him head butt.

Who in the west understands anything about other cultures!! But then why teach others when bigger bigots and idiots are right here.

Heeral (Nairobi) said...

yes most times its plain stuid and artificial but i do feel it does act as an ice breaker sometimes!

Ranbir and Katrina for sure!

*Aham* said...

richard has no gear on his brain.
did you notice Shilpa ka chumma and kimi katkar in the end "Jhumma Chumma De De" ka final sequence (where Amitabh tilts her to remove teh ring ) have such similar expressions.



Robin Williams put it way too aptly (there are exceptions to teh rule though...)

"God Gave Man A Brain and A penis and just enough blood to run one at a time"


Saif- kareena is a flop show. But a lot of rona dhoona... and dramabaazi

Ranbir Katrina -- Will be ohhh cho chweet and so watchable.. no cinematic classic.. but definitely something that ud enjoy

third option is Jail... Bhandarkar Formula -

political Goons+Child Abuse+Homosexual Abuse+Casting Couch = National Award.

Ketaki... said...

Well that Richard Gere incidence reminds me an incident of my Italian classmate during my Masters. Oh don't ask, it was just unpleasant.

I am up for both Saif-Kareena and Ranbir-Katrina, they come out on different fridays so there isn't really a clash.

Does anyone else think that Ranbir's just a smug who pulls of a good-boy farce? I also hate his sleepy-boy face. I m sorry he and Deepika broke up though, Break-ups suck. But I am still waiting for the Salman-Kat breakup.. :P :P

cmpershad said...

" But I got so distracted reading about an encounter with Richard Gere a few years ago "

Oh! I remember that episode of Shilpa Setty which was shown repeatedly even on US tv. Then I realised how childish these TV shows are- no matter what the place:)

Miss OverThinker said...

And it's even worse when you get to leave outside of India -cuz you kind of have to follow the norms of the country you are in.. Last Friday, we were celebrating Halloween at work and just jokingly I asked a senior manager - trick or treat - the norm is usually to give candy when one does something like that.. well he decided to stop right then and there and plant me a kiss!!! in the office!!! I turned red all over.. never again am I going trick or treating :)

Mehak said...

Definitely prefer Ranbir-Katrina! The songs are so catchy...

Vaudeville of exhilaration said...

You know what I used to write diaries when I was a kid. Don't know what had happened but I stopped.Probably, the realization dawned and that's why I started blogging.

I would prefer Saif and Kareena coz the relationship seems to be more seasoned:)

Theyoginme said...

hey, what about men being put in those uncomfortable situations..:) If you really want to have a serious, I invite you to watch the PAA countdown on Big Bs blog. Shameless self promotion obviously being ghost written by his media machinery. So sadly the truth finally comes out.... I ran for the bathroom to regurgitate. Perhap's Gere's fondness for Dalai Lama is less for humbling and more for feeding his ego. :)

Theyoginme said...

oops I meant serious laugh!

Anonymous said...

Two movies And One verdict.
No profit No loss.

Alex Engwete said...

"Slobbering attack!" I mark this one down and will soon be throwing it at parties as if I had produced it. Those who wouldn't pick up this jewell cast the first stone at me... You're truly a wordsmith, Lady!

Shachi said...

Oh Richard Gere and the Shilpa episode - Gross :)

You write so well....I wish I could....and you write detailed diaries??? wow....I wish I had the patience to do so.

Prefer the Ranbir-Katrina movie...but will wait for all reviews before watching either :)

Sparkling said...

So? Did you ever get that wrist damaged? I just wanna know how this option works.

Gave up the Ranbir-Katrina jodi and went to see Neil instead in 'Jail' - and before I say any I'll wait to read your review on it :p

maha said...

me too yar... nice posting..

Work from home India

Anil Kumar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anil Kumar said...

It again comes down to

Boya ped babool ka
TTo aam kahaan se hoye !!

The bollywood movies always encourage ill-manners and don't teach them the fine line that exists between what's acceptable and what's not. It encourages everything you see and experience and make our society as lechy Indian society.

Shilpa behaved like slut after Gere nailed down her cheeks. She was not at all concerned by being molested by a 50 year old man. She was worried that Indian people will be called backwards if Gere is booked and she would have hard time to explain it to her foreign friends.

I think the business of peck on the cheeks should be left to westerners.

Just so that one can understand the kind of lechy society you and I live in and is made 100% in India primarily by bollywood.

I have heard that many male employees working in multi-nationals and specially in call centres go straight to restrooms after shaking hands with a female employee and relieve themselves. Not sure after doing this exercise if they wash their hands properly.

I think your approach is fantastic. I am sure bollywood sluts too should read this blog to make informed choice before extending that cheek and arm.

Best wishes to bollywood's broad minded women Aishwarya Rai, Kareena, Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty etc. and loads of news anchors who use short cut methods to become what they have become. There simple gestures of handshaking or peck on the cheeks must have increased the workloads of poor restroom cleaners in Mumbai.

kala said...

Wear swineflu masks.

pooja raathore said...

I agree Richard Gere act was definetely not friendly...poor shilpa.
Ranbir Katrina - fresh -iam for this jodi onscreen only
I loved your Book Selective Memory, (it was released in 1998) i think you should come out with selective memory Part II .

Lavender said...

If the Ranbir Katrina movie you are talking about is Ajab Pre...
Then I should tell u this
both of them are brilliant actors
but i seriously judge them after this movie
the story line was terrible
from the first five minutes of the movie it is established that the movie is a pain in the backside.

How Do said...

oh Ranbir Katrina anyday!

Sidhusaaheb said...

Ms. Shetty doesn't seem to agree or she might've said as much.

Chandni.. said...

god knows what has gor into their heads... publicity stunt. saying this, i turn my head away. Please, we have had a lot of these and we want no more... huh.. sick it was...Richard Gere kissing (smooching) shilpa in an AIDS awareness campaign... I just dont care what these celebs want..

Buzzintown Blogger said...

I think more embarrassing for Shilpa was to see those clips being played time n again on various channels around the globe. Media created a hype of it and poor Shilpa had to bear it. I remember Shilpa was even interviewed about this and asked such questions "How did you feel? Why didn't you resist?" etc.


As far as pairing is concerned Ranbir-Katrina are Buzz of the day!!!

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