Monday, April 26, 2010

Adios IPL.But G'bye Modi? No chance!!!!!

Just when we thought it was all over.... khel khatam..... that the IPL circus ended with fireworks lighting up the sky after that clumsy defeat of the Mumbai Indians..... guess what? The real fireworks started.... Lalit Modi's fiery 'farewell' address turned out to be an open invitation to a Kusti match - and he wanted the "people of India' to be the jury. Why not? Indians are pretty smart. They definitely enjoyed the masala matches. And they know the IPL would not have taken off without Modi. But does that mean " the people of India'' are not bothered about getting to the bottom of this sleazy affair? If Modi has done no wrong - let it be proved. And if he has - let that be proved, too.
But if you are asking me whether heads will roll? Are you kidding?
The Commonwealth Games are next. The money making machines are already in overdrive.
No questions are being asked.
There is hardly any accountability.
And yes , big ticket politicians are involved.
The party never ends in apna desh.
****************
This appeared in Bombay Times today....
We will miss…. the IPL Gal Pals!

Now that it’s over – can we please get on with our lives?? Errr…. do we even want to? The better team has won, and let’s not spoil the moment by discussing who fixed what, and who made more money. At least for those few exhilarating weeks, millions of cricket lovers had a great time watching some heart stopping action, and rooting for their favourites…. and the bestest part?Often without leaving home! But for those following the million dollar ( literally!) masala scandals that really made this IPL the top rated reality show across channels, the lull to follow is going to be dull indeed! Us voyeurs had gotten used to our daily fix featuring a yummy platter of bite sized gossip, with amazing quotable quotes that really rocked! The word ‘slut’ suddenly became kosher! Everybody was throwing it around with total abandon, even Supriya Sule who said something about not ‘slutting out’ children by dragging them into this mess. Pushkar Ma’am also insisted she was no slut and that the wicked media was conducting a witch hunt and damning a respectable, female professional – her! Soon, two other young and attractive lassies hit the headlines – Laila Mahmood and Poorna Patel. While they avoided the ‘s-word’, they provided some more eye candy and an interesting youth angle. Amazing how competently these two young ladies navigated those shark infested waters without once losing their cool. While the likes of Jayanthi Natarajan fumed and hyper ventilated on nightly panel discussions, often completely ( and crudely) drowning out what the others were saying , these two PYTs were totally chilled out even as people around them went ballistic hurling all sorts of accusations at them.It’s called impeccable training. Let’s leave it at that.
But what do we do now? Breaking News is a nasty addiction. We have been spoilt after those two terrific media bombs exploding on our small screens back to back ( forgotten ‘Shonia’ already? ). Without the excitement of anticipating the next dhamaka, viewers are likely to get impatient and bored. Bhajji’s many fans now want him to perform off the field and preferably in public – he can pick his act. He is a made-for-television person, capable of providing hours of mouth watering titillation. He understands front page photo- ops better than anybody else on the team – and happily plays to the galleries. If people are a bit sick of Siddhuisms ( he has run through his repertoire ), maybe it’s time to rope in Harbhajan Singh. Throw him into the same frame with the old, saucy, sexy Mandira Bedi ( let’s face it, the day she gave up those noodle straps, cut her hair, lost her curves , and stopped giggling,was the day she surrendered her USP) and watch the two sizzle. There is something awfully sexy about observing women in traditional testosterone pumping sports ( Sandra Bullock in ‘The Blind Side’ ) that makes viewers go weak in the knees. Besides, nobody takes any of this seriously anyway – let’s face it, Mandira was not hired for her cricketing knowledge…. and by the same token, Boria Mazumdar is not expected to wear noodle straps. But going by the numbers, the presence of gorgeous gal pals in the IPL has certainly added oomph value to the game. And here, I include the super glamourous team owners ( take a bow, Preity, Shilpa… and yes, you above all, Nita!), besides wives and girlfriends within camera range ( Gouri and her girl gang ). There was as much to ogle in the stands and at the notorious IPL after parties ( Poorna’s brainchild), as the fast paced action on the field. Insiders would say, what went on post-match was far more hectic and exciting than all those run outs and sixers the public was treated to ( consolation prize, guys!).
Ab kya hoga?
Come on, Bollywood. Get into fifth gear. Give India something to drool over. We are counting on Hritik and Barbara to add some sizzle to the long, hot summer ahead. And no kite flying this time. The real thing, or nothing. Okay??

30 comments:

सुशीला पुरी said...

excellent........

anamika said...

You know i think Yesterdday match was fixed.Mukesh Ambani must hae given pots and pots of money to Mumbai Indians to not to win the match...BECAUSE if they would have then Bhajji might have hugged and kissed Nita Ambani:D


For Modi ..........May you RIP and still enjoy the game the way you were enjoying it on the finally .

Modi was pretending as if he was having the best of time..But andar ke baat sab jaante hai:P

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

Yours The saree idea - Rejected???
Anyways, drool???
Ra.One - next year/current year?
Currently Raavan diving Kites flying
Waiting anxiously to watch both.

Delhi Goon said...

You probably are right - Modi is not going anywhere! Even if he did there will be another one on his way... Will it never end?

逸凡逸凡 said...

Nice Post~!!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anil Kumar said...

Sophisticated people use the word slut...I call them Raand. The business of raand on cricket field started by Mandira Bedi and has touched the slutty nerves of many bollywood raands such as Shilpa, Preity.

Your saree suggestion for Mumbai Indians was not taken seriously...may be Mukesh Ambani was drunk with Mallu's daaru.

Why don't you suggest Neeta Ambaani to start the strip club business in India at affordable prices. These raands from Bollywood can also come once in a week and show all their assets for a reasonable price and can increase the VALUE of their cricket franchise by 5 times. This will give oppotunity to those poor fans who after watching IPL match and oogling so many sluts feel frustrated and release their venom in their outlets.

Let's make this country a RAAND's Heaven by using the game of cricket and give it the name of Development, prosperity and women liberation.

wise donkey said...

please! what fireworks, it was bleats of a damp squib. Enough of Short Sensations, hopefully some sense.

Sudhir Kekre said...

I got this letter released under the right to information act.

http://hamarichaupal.blogspot.com/2010/04/sonia-gs-letter-to-shashi-tharoor.html

goodluck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter said...

wow Shobhaa De .. superb!! ..you rock Shobhaa De!!

ms said...

mz de, some are born great (type 1), some achieve greatness (type 2), some have greatness thrust upon them (type 3). chirayu amin is claiming that this greatness was rammed down his throat, so now becomes the type 4 great guy. others who claim that their share of greatness was also introduced into them in similar fashion: shashank bhai, pawar sahab, la push babe, tharoor. notice the absent lalitmodi from this line-up? he belongs to the type 5 great guy: who snatches greatness from others and having squeezed the bejaysus out of it, finally thrusts it into, oops, sorry, upon great guy type 4. with so much greatness floating around (scum always rises to the top, as grandma sez), i am worried about the common man - how will he reap the benefits of such munificence. i am worried that the wealth will be like the rain in the sahara that dries up before it reaches the parched sand. c'est la vie, mz de.

ms said...

and he is back! foulmouthed anilkumarji is back, back, back! please, please, please refer to dictionary and use english equivalents! it is difficult for us local-lingo-challenged readers!

*Aham* said...

Kabhi Alvidaa naa kehna...


naa munna naaa. i almost wept when i saw the modi exit and slowly slowly vanish into the oblivion.

aiyyo! painful, it would have been, to get sautela treatment from the jaayiz aulaad - IPL.

I definitely know though, that he will be back, and when he is back, he would have special cover on his back.. safeguaring himself from all the riders.


***********************************

Slut now is what sexy was some years back. Its just a synonym for Bad girl. simble!

Now toh its common lingo to say "HE is a real Bitch"...

hehhe. sab kuch chaalse... no offence!

***********************************
Sunanda, thought she would take the next flight to dubai.. but khair... athithi devooo bhava!



from Nityaaanandaa to sunandaa, media is in anandaa hi anandaa...

***********************************

ow coming to Indian Princess League.... I crown "Jayanti Maami" as the princess... her BP can help her hyperventilate more than a "One Ball-One to Win" moment in cricket.
***********************************

Bubbly Preity was true to her spirit, she braved criticism on twitter too. And sent heartfelt congratulations to her opponents every time they won. Also, she was most natural. Ekdam raw in emotions.

**********************************

Miss NoBody, now... Still, Mrs. NoBody.. shilpa was a close contender to Jayanti maami, in hyperventilation.
Thandaa Le!


***********************************

Ohh! i really hope Hritik and Barbara help us with some "fun" minus pun on screen...


Fingers crossed, toes curled.

Anil Kumar said...

My apologies again for using the bad language but the irony is the same content when presented on TV news and print media with nice words is called masala news.

I just try to put the same contents in black and white by using the choicest words which I am sure are uncomfortable for many. But this is the kind of society we are being made by some billionaires, many in tv and print media and loads of crappy bastards in bollywood.

As Aham has rightly said...Slut is what sexy was few years back. It's just a matter of time when it becomes convenient for ears to hear. I am using the North Indian words which has same punch as the American English words used by high profile people.

People make a mockery of democracy here. That's why a Sharad Pawar who had blessings of this scandal remains untouchable. And instead of Modi with 1400 crores of empire, we now have a 900 crores worth of IPL commissioner. Vijay Mallaya on TV doesn't say a word against Modi. Big Sharks are taking over this country and by feeding the politicians they can do whatever they want.

That's why our Pagdi wala primeminister has ruled our JPC investigation on this which is a HUGE embarassment to brand India/Incredible India and to the game of cricket. It's not just MONEY...it's use of money to DESTROY the game of cricket.

Sam said...

good one ms .de....

Delhi Goon said...

Some really strong views your article has generated here Ms.De. Nothing to say that not already said. Without naming, thank you all for your insights.

sunil golcha said...

you are absolutely right shobha
"the party never ends in apna desh"

FrankieGoesToHyderabad said...

I'm amazed anyone can make any sense of the recent scandals. As if there's any meaning to them aside from providing breaks in between endless irritating adverts. Or maybe I've just not twigged yet. (But for a start, Ms D, how can you watch IPL for more than a few minutes without becoming deranged from the moronic adverts that get crammed in every few seconds, just when someone is about to hit a six?) I can see that... somewhere in there... maybe... there's something that once resembled cricket... but cricket with all the enjoyment taken out, and with cheap imported Latvian cheerleader substitutes inserted instead. And of course the hyper-rich & greedy sloshing around in the trough, and being interviewed! Instead of being chased out of the stadium for spoiling what was once a great game. Not that I'm cynical or anything. It's just a load more fun watching a street cricket match in Koti. With no mega-profits to be siphoned off to the Cayman Islands...

Sidhusaaheb said...

The one who steals a few rupees is a thief, while the one who steals hundreds of crores is a corporate czar, obviously. Nobody dares catch the latter, unless he/she hasn't shared the loot with politicians.

Perhaps R. Raju should have paid off some politicians with influence at the centre as well, besides those who could influence the state government. Then he could probably have avoided going to prison.

Sidhu is spelt with a single 'd', meanwhile.

ShemaleJasmin said...

Indian cities, school, streets everywhere, it is dirty! ? whats about the Indian government?
IPL money-laundering scandal threatens Indian government ??
http://merabharatmahanindia.blogspot.com/

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