For those who don't live in Mumbai and may not understand what a 'mori' is, let me explain. Or let me not. Crudely put, it's what Maharashtrians call a drain - the one in the corner of a small kitchen where heavy cooking pots are scoured. This rather unfortunate reference to the lovely Barbara Mori, is doing the sms rounds, and after watching 'Kites' last night, I can understand why. Poor girl.... she looks like across between Aditi Gowitrikar and Sameera Reddy. Not a bad thing necessarily - both are attractive and talented - but haven't quite made it in Bollywood. That in itself is not the only thing wrong with this disastrous movie - there's very little that's right.
But first the con job - when we sent for the tickets, the driver phoned from the ticket window to say it was nearly house full and only the most expensive seats were available. We said, 'Achcha - very good sign. Buy them." When we reached the plush theatre, it was entirely empty but for two other seats!!! So.... what happened to those tickets? Bought en masse by someone to prop up the movie???? It's an old, old trick.
Twenty minutes into the film ( even the limp popcorn was over by then), we were looking desperately for some sort of a story to begin - we'd have settled for anything!!! Ms. Mori looking considerably older than our Hritik, was making cow eyes at him - what else can she do without breaking into Spanish in what is billed as a Hindi film ( 20 half sentences throughout 'Kites' spoken in pidgen hindi really don't qualify )? Absurdities piled up ( along with cop cars) in a way that ought to make Anurag B shrivel up and die with shame. What a colossal waste of firang cop cars!!!! I managed to count 18 that get blown up for no logical reason ( did a major chunk of the budget go towards those idiotic crashes?)..... By the time the anti-climax rolled up ..... I was ready to jump off the nearest cliff near Mahad or Mahabeleshwar ( not Mexico) and join the suicidal screen lovers.
P.S. About the chemistry between Hritik and Barbara - it was combustible. I'm sure audiences could smell those hormones - amigos, you ain't fooling nobody!!!!