Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Just to take my mind away from the young woman hanging on to life  in Delhi, I am posting this image of Skittles - a proud and beautiful mother. Her littlest one, will be mine soon...I have named her Gong Li! Merry X'Mas.... stay positive. Believe in life...
                                The rape of  Delhi…
I refuse to pack chilly powder in my hand bag each time I step out of the house. I will not advise my daughters to master martial arts or acquire cans of pepper spray - ‘just in case’. I will encourage them to wear what they want, when they want. And I certainly won’t be looking over my shoulder constantly when I leave home. This is no way to live. This is no way to deal with a crisis. We are making an even bigger mess of an already horrific reality by running scared. By hiding. By diving for cover. The streets, stations, subways, buses, autos, trains, over bridges, cabs belong to women as much as they do to men. We should reclaim what is rightfully ours, without being browbeaten into scampering away in fright. Why retreat at this stage? If anything, the moment to go ahead and change the rules of this dastardly game is now. If we weaken our resolve and move even an inch from the position taken, we’ll have surrendered a basic right. The right to freedom. The right to safety. Worst of all, we will be passing on a nasty message to our daughters and their daughters that all men are potential rapists – it’s only about opportunity.
It takes one incident to galvanise people. Nobody can predict which that incident could be. Why this particular rape? Newspapers carry worse reports involving equally brutal acts of violence against women on a daily basis. Often, there are as many as six blood curdling stories on the same day, each one as grisly as what happened to the brave 23- year- old  girl in Delhi earlier this week. Yet, it was this gruesome rape that   has outraged and shaken up India. One can only hope this case won’t become another played up tragedy that goes nowhere once something ‘more important’ hits the headlines. But what can be more important than the lives of our women? Or am I asking a stupid question? We know the answer. A female foetus is not safe even in a mother’s womb. And we are discussing the safety of women who are ‘allowed to live’.  But this is not the time to feel martyred. There is no room for self pity. This is the time to demand real change. And by that, I don’t mean the death penalty. Ironically, it is other hardened criminals locked up with the accused in Tihar jail, who have decided to teach the beasts a lesson that goes beyond beatings. Reports say, one of them was made to eat his own excreta. Humiliation can’t get any worse.
But that is not a ‘solution’. It is merely a reaction. The solution lies in our hands. And those hands need not reach for chilly powder. If we adopt defensive strategies to ‘protect’ ourselves, we are admitting weakness and anticipating defeat.How many women in scary circumstances will have the physical strength and the presence of mind to reach for those chilies ? The onus of staying safe was never on us. Let’s not foolishly take it on ourselves at this critical stage and let the real culprits off the hook. And those culprits aren’t  the rapists. Criminals take their cues from society at large. A society that condones and looks the other way when politicians rape, loot, kidnap and murder with impunity, is a society that is inviting trouble from the lumpen. Men like the Delhi rapists who must have believed they’d get away with the crime – just like all those netas whizzing around the Capital,followed by a convoy of security cars to ‘protect’ them. It is this blatant abuse of power that we need to put up a fight against. Until that changes, our women will remain soft targets.  Sheila Dixit, the Chief Minister of  Delhi has displayed very little real concern. The top cop has been shockingly blasé, resorting to platitudes and excuses to cover up his force’s lapses.Through all this, an extraordinarily courageous woman continues to fight for her life and let the world know she wants to live. It’s a poignant war cry from what could soon become her death bed. Yes. The situation is grim. And this is a national emergency which must be recognized as one. No woman in India should ever be told to arm herself with chilly powder. No woman should even feel the need to do so. This is what the fight is about. Get real, Sheila Dixit.Women must be able to take safety for granted. Just like men do.  For, when Delhi gets raped, India gets raped.


Jogeshwar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pooja Rathore said...

wow what a soothing pic- i loved it.
Gong Li- nice name ,the name adds to 13 - meaning "change" - numerologically speaking.
I read your article in sunday times i felt relief reading the article, after the rape incident the papers were flooded with what to do ,what not to do ....how to protect yourself etc..all that really made me think ...is it a curse to be a girl...you are right ,to live in fear is definetely not the way to live.i cut the heading of your article and put in my dream journal(my vision board) told myself this is the way better to live well than live in fear.
i really loved your article because when we say ""just in case" we actually attract such situations(like for ex- iam saving for the rainy day...and then the rainy day comes...but by repeatedly saying so we call upon us so its best to live with out fear).
for this article a sweet hug to you dear DE for making me realise not to live in fear and fight for that which is my basic right...the right to freedom!

Pooja Rathore said...

"Merry Christmas"!

RAJ47 said...

Please check this out.
See where the directions are coming from.
An IPS officer with at least 20 years of service.

To top it delhipolice apologise on twitter for lathicharge on innocents????????????????
This is INDIA.

Pooja Sharma Rao said...

I agree that this process has again become the one that puts the onus on the oppressed to save herself from being oppressed.

I seriously believe that the solution lies in homes and education system which raises men who instill the confidence in women that they are safe and free to do whatever they want to do.

anisji said...

With all due appreciation for the "safe" conditions you seek for women...in which country on earth do you find them?

Divya Virmani said...

Mrs. De, I read your article on TOI and completely agreed with it. However, when I started to think about it deeply, I kinda felt that our country is not ready for this kind of attitude from girls. I mean, I strongly believe that girls should keep some sort of weapon with them at all times to save themselves. Because this country will not get changed overnight; it's good to see that the youth is so agitated to bring change in their cities and they are fighting for it but still these things will take some time to go into affect. Until then, guys would continue to harass, rape, and torture girls.

Look at how many rape cases happened post the delhi gang rape? It's just ridiculous to see that men have absolutely no fear in them. After such a big case which reached international news, these savages are still out raping girls... Unbelievable!

So, lets continue to speak up about these cases and make sure that this doesn't go unnoticed and the gov't is forced to come up with stricter rules and punishments for the culprits!


sanjay yadav said...

I have read your article in the SUNDAY TIMES,i fully agree with you;
there is no need to woman to carry pepper spray or master any martial art;what provokes a man to rape is to prove his dominance over a lady or his desire for sexual gratification. I don't think in Delhi's case government can do other thing than punishing or passing certain rules and regulation,by this we are just delaying another rape. In my opinion the root cause of this heinous crime lies in the loss of our moral values and if we want to make change then first of all that change we should bring in our self (here i am talking about male), male should change his angle of looking at females; whatever a lady wants to wear is her choice i have nothing to do with it and here it's my responsibility to change my view and to look at her respectfully.A government rule can not change a man.

Change should come from inside in every men, to look at every woman with respect.

ausaf malik said...

I am agree with your article.it must not be done in the technical era where all having same rights.
women are also working well in each n every field.
Now, there are multiple ways to earn online using computer. many girls are earning good with this method. want to know more..

Venkat Chari said...

Very great Shobhaji! You need not carry chilli powder with you nor advise your daughters to do so. We must not teach fear to our children. They should be bold enough to face the situation as it arises. I still remember one such incident when I had to fight with a big monkey when we were living in Varanasi some ten years back. I was stepping down the stair case along with my wife and suddenly a big monkey came at the turning. My wife was very much afraid, and the monkey was getting ready to sprang on us. I didn't know what to do. We had nothing in our hands to protect us. And no body was there to call for help. Spontaneously I got bold and as soon as the monkey sprang upon us, I hit it with my hand so forcely that it got bewildered. Even then, it tried to pounce upon me, but I continued hitting it with my bare hand and made it to run away from us. Then we got down and went away. Even though I got some minor scratches, I wondered how I got so much courage. So, what I tell is, that we must not teach fear complex to our children or any body. You are great in this attitude.

Satish Ashtaputre said...

The real culprits behind Delhi rapists are our netas only.Nowadays people don't fear about the laws just like these netas.The crux of the issue lies in 'Yatha Raja Tatha Praja'! so,we need solid reforms in our election system & also in the overall governance of this great,ancient nation.

M Ramaswamy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
meetu said...

Only swift & sure solution to this kind of outrage is death penalty...no less !
These cowards & sickos will only be deterred when they see other sickos getting their nooses on the fast track

M Ramaswamy said...

i think this public data-base for convicted rapists is a dashed good idea and will make every potential rapist more wary of getting caught..nothing like the fear of being 'exposed' in india!
let them scurry back to their underworld!

Anil Kumar said...

Bollywood sluts started this trend of making Indian woman a sexual commodity. It started with Aishwarya Rai, Sushmita Sen, Some Chopra and some other bullshit from1994 onwards. The trend was continued by Rohtak ki raand Mallika Sherawat, Kapoor khandan ki kati naak - Kareena kapoor and so on. All these sluts gave kissing scenes, shook their booty and gave sexcual scenes which earlier used to be limited to A grade movies and in theater.

These bajaaru scenes which used to stay in movies were shown repeatedly on TV thousands of time. If some family is watching Ramayana with his kids - chances are some slut will come up during advertisement or a cheap item song or cheap comedy dialogue with sexual meanings or big brother with bed scenes will enter into you drawing room and you will run for remote control to keep it away from your kids - if you have some values.

The fruits of labour done by bollywood/ TV media/ print media are coming out now and Indians are getting taste of it now.

I wrote number of comments for last 5 years on Ms Shobha De's blog and pleading with her not to promote this culture as it will bite the POORS of this country very hard as they dont have the luxury of having a car or driver or live in gated community. If she remembers - I told her that this so called freedom of woman will destroy India and make Indian woman's situation similar to the bitch followed by 5-6 dogs during mating season. The results are out there for everyone to see.

Aamir Khan and his 2nd or 3rd "rakhail" happily approved a song "Bossdiki" and Ms Shobha De openely endorsed the desi gaali in movies. If you spread vulgarity and bad things - these are very easy to adopt by young generation and results can be seen.

Similarly this gay culture recognition will destory poor boys since the data show that gay people target young boys and there are plenty of poor indian boys roaming on the streets.

The MEDIA feeds on both fronts. It first shows woman as commodity 24X7 and helps creating a society without values and when rape happens then shows the victim story 24X7. Good TRP's are guaranteed.

The Times now which is on the forefront of gang-rape victim's story. While TimesofIndia's front page is showing a bollywood star in compromising position with a bollywood star under the title "12 bold scenes of 2012".

It took only 10 years for Indians to shed their original identity and to go to any extent and remove their clothes for money.

Poonam Pandey - you are the most unlucky girl...Any offer yet????

Unknown said...

Sheila Dixit blamed influx of people in Delhi from other states for problem yesterday.

While her party has allowed hundreds of colonies to come up illegally in Delhi in last decade or so. These colonies dont have parks, schools, severage facilities and become PERMANENT hell for centuries for people living there. But her government has now happily agreed to regularize them - so that they can get the votes which congress desperately needs. The original count was to regularize 903 colonies.

Her transport minister has removed profitable DTC buses in many routes and have now promoted "Gramin Sewa" which can accomodate 6 people at a time. But these bastards squeeze 12-13 people in these Gramin Sewa and Delhi men enjoy rubbing shoulders and more with women - who are left with no option but to use these Gramin Sewam.

Let Sheila Dixit travel in these six-seater and check herself if her breasts remain untouched and her buttocks sustain the pressure of other men.

She sounds helpless for every Delhi problem. If thats the case why the hell you are clinging to the CM's post? Stop licking Sonia's feet - They too are getting old and she doesnt want her body hairs to be removed to the Nth degree.

Jyostna said...

Ms.De wonderfully written piece. I agree with you totally. I also agree to the above person Anil Kumar's comment to certain extent..coz there should be a limit to our films/media/TV on what they show as it has great effect on youngsters, in the name of development & modernization,we are crossing the danger limits too. While films or media are entirely not responsible, they are acting as a catalyst! I can see this effect in my own cousins, they adopt so much from TV/Films more than they learn from their parents.

Piyush Pandey said...

very nice blog

Anonymous said...
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TaNuja said...

After reading what you wrote, there is nothing else to add on this topic. I seriously hope it reached to the public. I would like to share it in FB.

I would certainly like to call this pure torture than gang-rape.


Russel Ahmed said...

I quote from your last line of your article."when delhi gets raped,india gets raped".nice articulated outrage.

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