Sunday, May 5, 2013

Hips don't lie.....!

Summer is definitely here! And I am not going by the crazy mercury levels! Just look at these magnificent Brazilian Copper Pods in full and glorious bloom right outside my window! The streets are strewn with flowers.... who notices the dirt beneath that carpet of gold?? That's my attitude to life as well - focus on the fragrance... the delicate beauty of seasonal flowers.... ignore the kachra. You'll be a lighter, happier person. Promise!
This appeared in Mumbai Mirror....

                             Why jeans matter more than genes to women…
Let’s face it… most Indian women ( I instantly include myself) are hip heavy. We  prefer to call our body type by slightly more flattering names, insisting we are blessed with ‘child bearing’ pelvic girdles. This is utter rubbish, of course. I mean just look at Victoria Beckham’s unreal proportions (damn her genes and jeans). Here’s a woman who has produced four gorgeous babies phataphat.And is a size minus zero. Closer to home, there’s our very own desi Posh, the luscious, lissome Shilpa Shetty  ( for proof, check her out on the cover of the latest Hello! with toddler Viaan on her hip). Look at those dangerous curves. So… out  goes that silly child bearing hips theory. Popping out multiple babies is not connected to the dimensions of  ones girth, especially that annoying ‘hippy’ statistic. And since we are at that time of the year ( summer vacations), when women across the world want their bods to be bikini-perfect, let’s not get too ambitious for now and just stick to the jeans crisis. Bikinis can wait. Last year’s favourite denims no longer fit, right? But they are still there in your closet, teasing and taunting you to try them on. You don’t dare, because you know the awful truth. Deep within your heart, you have accepted defeat. But you refuse to admit it.Finally,you resign yourself to what the mirror is shouting out at you, and shame- facedly settle for track pants ( how I hate them!), telling yourself, it’s fine to travel in tracks….if  Katrina Kaif can, you can. Idiotic reasoning. I mean… have you seen Katrina’s toned butt? It gets worse. You start digging for still older pairs that are hidden inside the deep recesses of your closet.Surely, you’ll find something that fits? No?? Then why are all those discarded  jeans still there? Aha… ha ha ha … because you live in hope! You are convinced ‘one day’ you will be back in shape and able to squeeze into them! Those perfect denims are a symbol of  desperation and aspiration. You hang on to them. You cling! Because you are a true believer in your own will power. Besides, you hate throwing away a “perfectly good pair of hardly worn jeans!” Obviously, you have never paid close attention to Shakira’s mega hit ‘Hips don’t lie.”  Please…. take a good look at her booty…. and go die! Huge, yes. But worth a million bucks – literally!
Giving up on your hips is the worst thing a woman can do. Give up on other body parts if you must, but not those hips. Remember, not even the best constructed gown or clingy saree can effectively camouflage love handles. If you have them, you have them. That’s the time to blame it all on genes. Stare at old, faded photographs, fondly remember your granny (‘naani ki yaad’ gets a new spin), reconstruct the family tree … and console yourself. What can you do if you are unlucky enough to be born into a family of women with generous hips? I made my uneasy peace with this particular problem a long time ago. Someone smart advised, “Sit on your base and look after your face.’’ I was forty at the time. Sensible advice, I like to think. There are some unflattering home truths that need to be accepted with grace. What’s the big deal? Yes, you should continue with your daily work out, eat sensibly, drink lots of water, sleep well…. blah ,blah,blah. But should a couple of inches ( okay… more than a couple) ruin a much needed summer break? Never! Should you chuck those old jeans? Never! They are motivational and needed. They tell you what even best friends don’t. You hate them for it. Fine. But it’s key to pay attention. And lose weight. Oh… not rightaway! After the vacations will do. And while you are out there, shopping cheek-by-jowl with ladies who could be Posh… or Shilpa, don’t despair . Move as far away from them as possible and search for jeans that really, really s-t-r-e-t-c-h from Milan to Mumbai. Or stick to caftans. About those bitchy beach babes staring pointedly at your derriere…. Honey, hasn’t anybody told you about the ultimate izzat savers also known as sarongs??? 


mridula pradhan said...

who notices the dirt beneath that carpet of gold?? That's my attitude to life as well......very good thinking.

Sweet Ana said...

really nice article,
i will surely try to implement the same in my activity

Watch Live IPL6 Matches from Pepsi VIP Box for Free

Another Kiran In NYC said...

Truth be told, recently I have not always been able to ignore the dross and embrace the gold. The puritanical part of me says wallowing in self pity is very indulgent. The emotionally lazy part of me thinks I am giving myself a emotional vacation by allowing myself to not constantly fight against the bad stuff. Total konfuzion in heart and mind.
I should emulate your attitude and joi de vivre. Life does look up. Things get better always. Will keep your picture of the blooming tree in mind.

About the hips... aiyooooo.... that is a South Asian story still to be told. As I get to a certain age, I have been warned by my doctors to watch the waist versus hip size. As South Asians we have a genetic propensity for diabetes and hip/waist ratios are good indicators of whether we will suffer from the dread disease. So be kind to yourself and get your waist in order way before your 40's. Hips can stay hippy but kamar cannot become a kamra.

Pooja Rathore said...

fun and sensible post DE !
liked your comment@another kiran Nyc.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

And thats why we have our sarees, punjabi salwar kurtas etc. And not all south asians have hip problems.

Jyostna said...

I know a lot of frns want to tone down their hips, and a lot other who love to flaunt the same...its about the attitude inside not bulge outside ;)

Aditya said...

Amazing Article
Get Tech Updates at TechTantrik
Enjoy Funnier Side of Life at TheRoyalPoke

bewafa barme said...

aunty photos without saree
****aunty photo album****

****mallu aunties picture****

****tamil aunty mulai pundai photos****

****hot aunties pundai photos****

****tamil aunties pundai photos****

****tamil aunty pundai photo gallery****

****mallu aunties hot navel pics****

****mallu,tamil aunties****

****tamil pundai photos****

****mallu aunty kambi photos****

****tamil pundai photo****

****mallu aunties hot navel images****

****aunty pundai images****

****hot aunties without saree photos****

****mallu aunty photos****

****pundai,hot aunties photos****

****hot aunty pundai images****

Siva Cool said...

A truly motivational and life changing book
This book is really a good book which shows us right path. but i read
one more book named "ONE BOOK FOR LIFE SUCCESS" which is truly
motivational and life changing . .The writer has described in PlainEnglish with lot of examples which is easy to understand...For More
Please watch the video
YouTube video