This link was sent to me by Anthony Spaeth, the TIME magazine journo responsible for that annoying and hateful 'Jackie Collins' tag. Much as I love Tony ( he remains a friend and I have forgiven him!), there are times when I come across this facile, lazy description and see red. Tony is based in Seoul these days and is contemplating a trip back to India ( he lived in Delhi for 11 years). The last time we met was in Hong Kong. Well... I am Hong Kong bound soon.... and it really won't be the same without our buddy Tony around.
http://www.time.com/time/asia/asia/magazine/1998/981109/shobha1.html
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Women Without Borders...
When I wrote this column for The Week, the Liz Hurley scandal had not broken.... ironic. 'Women Without Borders' is open to several interpretations. Liz is one such borderless woman. But in an entirely different context. Didn't think I'd ever end up feeling sorry for Mr. Bandhgala ( her ex- , Arun Nayar), but for once I think the Brit tabloids are being extra nasty and definitely racist when they describe Arun as 'fatally unglamourous." Cruel. And inaccurate. The reason why this trashy but fatally sexy woman married Arun was for his glamour ( can't be the money - she has much more). At the height of their romance, Brit tabloids went to town about Arun's devastating good looks and style. Today, the poor guy resembles a whipped puppy as he whines about his wife's adultery. The last time I met them was a few months ago at the Maharaja of Jodhpur's charity dinner. We were seated at the host's table , and Liz was busy flashing her eyes (and very impressive cleavage) at every passing bloke. It was obvious Mr. Bandhgala's days were numbered. Well.... I do hope he takes Liz to the cleaners. According to reports, she's worth 60 million pounds.He should push for 30.And she can keep the pigs...
The empire must strike back!
*****************
Edit Schlaffer means business! It was easy to tell as much when she strode into my home late one afternoon. Her stride and voice indicated she was someone who was determinedly focused on issues that concern her deeply – her organization - SAVE (Sisters Against Violent Extremism) - reflects that unflinching commitment. Accompanying the Austrian lady was a beautiful assistant called Elaine. Both were unambiguously “ Ladies With a Mission” . After an hour long chat, I got a better understanding of their extraordinary mission. Often, it is personal tragedy that ignites such fervour. While, I didn’t probe, I did pick up on Edit’s own loss ( her son) , which may have motivated her to set up SAVE. She talked about empowering and inspiring women to stand up against violent extremism. She mentioned how society could transform itself if women were consulted on policy. She asked me several difficult and perplexing questions that demanded a great deal of introspection (“ What solutions can women offer to combat terrorism?”). As we chatted – easily and naturally – I began to understand her concerns better . Edit travels around the world meeting women who have suffered at the hands of violent men representing special interest groups of all hues, religious and political. The stories of those battered women are what she wants to highlight and eventually find peaceful resolutions to. She points out, “ Violent extremism is not a distant, abstract threat. Acts of terrorism could happen at your grocery store, your bus, your plane….” Scarey! But it is important to move beyond victimhood, her brochure states. “ For too long, in too many places, the potential of women to make meaningful change has been ignored and overlooked – this is a grave mistake.” Hear! Hear! She also stresses on reconciliation and dialogue, pointing out that “without the knowledge of the other, how will we ever live together?” She believes that without genuine contact and communication, the process of healing and moving forward remains incomplete.
The response mechanisms she recommends involve alternatives that reach out to young men and women who feel frustrated, confused and isolated in societies without adequate support systems. She talked about providing women with the required tools for critical debate to challenge extremist ideologies. As she points out, women are at the heart of the family. They are the first to recognize signs of anger in their children.Change starts in the home…. change starts with women. As she continued talking passionately about her work, I was moved to note her level of intensity as she described meeting the mother of the sole terrorist in custody after the 9\11 attacks in New York. At a conference in Vienna earlier this year, 15 courageous women from Yemen, Pakistan, India, Israel, Palestine, Northern Ireland, came together to share their experiences and work towards a safer future. The thinking behind Edit’s remarkable initiative is pretty simple : “ Women can transform society by sensitizing and mobilizing their own children susceptible to or already trapped by ideologies of violent extremism.” She has successfully launched ‘Mothers for Change’, a world wide campaign to involve women who can ensure safety and security in their immediate surroundings…. and act as an early warning system.Representing India is Vinita Kamte, the outspoken, fearless widow of the legendary Police Commissioner Ashok Kamte, who was killed during the Mumbai Terrorist Attacks on 26\11. From Hatred to Hope, is the apt heading for this segment that chronicles the efforts of women like Vinita, lone voices in a hostile environment, struggling to be heard. Despite the odds, these extraordinary women are managing to push for reform and change, no matter how daunting the task. There are several other ‘Vinitas’ across the world, most of them linked by a single common factor – the loss of a loved one at the hands of senseless terrorists. Tragedy is the ultimate leveler. But Edit’s tireless efforts are about the triumph of the human spirit … she wants to change the world, and fervently believes that her organization - ‘Women Without Borders’ - will emerge as the most effective agent of that change.
How right she is!
The empire must strike back!
*****************
Edit Schlaffer means business! It was easy to tell as much when she strode into my home late one afternoon. Her stride and voice indicated she was someone who was determinedly focused on issues that concern her deeply – her organization - SAVE (Sisters Against Violent Extremism) - reflects that unflinching commitment. Accompanying the Austrian lady was a beautiful assistant called Elaine. Both were unambiguously “ Ladies With a Mission” . After an hour long chat, I got a better understanding of their extraordinary mission. Often, it is personal tragedy that ignites such fervour. While, I didn’t probe, I did pick up on Edit’s own loss ( her son) , which may have motivated her to set up SAVE. She talked about empowering and inspiring women to stand up against violent extremism. She mentioned how society could transform itself if women were consulted on policy. She asked me several difficult and perplexing questions that demanded a great deal of introspection (“ What solutions can women offer to combat terrorism?”). As we chatted – easily and naturally – I began to understand her concerns better . Edit travels around the world meeting women who have suffered at the hands of violent men representing special interest groups of all hues, religious and political. The stories of those battered women are what she wants to highlight and eventually find peaceful resolutions to. She points out, “ Violent extremism is not a distant, abstract threat. Acts of terrorism could happen at your grocery store, your bus, your plane….” Scarey! But it is important to move beyond victimhood, her brochure states. “ For too long, in too many places, the potential of women to make meaningful change has been ignored and overlooked – this is a grave mistake.” Hear! Hear! She also stresses on reconciliation and dialogue, pointing out that “without the knowledge of the other, how will we ever live together?” She believes that without genuine contact and communication, the process of healing and moving forward remains incomplete.
The response mechanisms she recommends involve alternatives that reach out to young men and women who feel frustrated, confused and isolated in societies without adequate support systems. She talked about providing women with the required tools for critical debate to challenge extremist ideologies. As she points out, women are at the heart of the family. They are the first to recognize signs of anger in their children.Change starts in the home…. change starts with women. As she continued talking passionately about her work, I was moved to note her level of intensity as she described meeting the mother of the sole terrorist in custody after the 9\11 attacks in New York. At a conference in Vienna earlier this year, 15 courageous women from Yemen, Pakistan, India, Israel, Palestine, Northern Ireland, came together to share their experiences and work towards a safer future. The thinking behind Edit’s remarkable initiative is pretty simple : “ Women can transform society by sensitizing and mobilizing their own children susceptible to or already trapped by ideologies of violent extremism.” She has successfully launched ‘Mothers for Change’, a world wide campaign to involve women who can ensure safety and security in their immediate surroundings…. and act as an early warning system.Representing India is Vinita Kamte, the outspoken, fearless widow of the legendary Police Commissioner Ashok Kamte, who was killed during the Mumbai Terrorist Attacks on 26\11. From Hatred to Hope, is the apt heading for this segment that chronicles the efforts of women like Vinita, lone voices in a hostile environment, struggling to be heard. Despite the odds, these extraordinary women are managing to push for reform and change, no matter how daunting the task. There are several other ‘Vinitas’ across the world, most of them linked by a single common factor – the loss of a loved one at the hands of senseless terrorists. Tragedy is the ultimate leveler. But Edit’s tireless efforts are about the triumph of the human spirit … she wants to change the world, and fervently believes that her organization - ‘Women Without Borders’ - will emerge as the most effective agent of that change.
How right she is!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Dhinchak BBB - better than halwa!
I am in December mode - laid back and lazy. Did the unthinkable last afternoon - had lunch with two gal pals at 'Wasabi' ( better black cod and sea bass than at Nobu's). Then went shopping for sensuous sarees at Kala Niketan. BLISS!! Should do it more often. Came home to Bengali fish curry and chicken biryani. More bliss. Went to bed dreaming of Liz Hurley snogging that pig - what's his face, Warne??? From Hugh to Mr.Bandgala to Shane - what a downfall! Getting ready to wallop gajar halwa. Disgusting!!!!
**************
This appeared in Bombay Times on Monday.
YRF Ka Dhinchak Band Baj Gayaa….
Go watch this feel good, fun film that has slipped in quietly into multiplexes minus any band baaja, shor-wor, marketing-sharketing… and stolen hearts. Goes to prove one simple truth – an original always scores.You don’t need obscene budgets, item songs, mega stars or aggressive\innovative promotional activity when the movie itself is terrific. Word of mouth is by far the most powerful tool in this business. And going by the buzz, last Friday’s modestly made ‘Band Baaja Baraat’ is bound to score a bull’s eye at the box office. It may do the trick for Yash Raj Films, the same way that a sleeper hit once salvaged R.K.Films with ‘Bobby’, which starred an unknown called Dimple and the bossman’s teenage son( Rishi Kapoor) as lead players. In BBB, Aditya Chopra has sensibly picked a taaza mazedaar team and introduced a kudda ( Ranveer Singh) who is as Panju as a tandoori kukkad. Here’s a debut that holds much promise and is worth noting since the young man is not a filmi son, brother, son-in-law, nephew, cousin, step-son. But the guy can act and dance with the best. His sense of timing is terrific, and his macho-crudo character who insists on talking with his mouth stuffed with bread-pakoras, is as authentic as sarson da saag.But beyond the lead players ( Anoushka Sharma’s spirited Shrutti is adorable), it is the crackling dialogue (Habib Faisal) that’s the real star. Maneesh Sharma, the debutant director rarely misses a cue - the casting is spot on, especially the flower supplier and the snooty-bitchy Sainik Farms wedding planner who cons her clients by short changing them all the way – whether it’s on the lilies or the lights. Combine this simple story of two Dilliwalla youngsters who are partners in a ‘binnas’ ( ‘Shaadi Mubarak’) and dying to move up the pecking order, from dhinchak Janakpuri weddings put together for a couple of lakhs to staging multi crore super extravaganzas at massive havelis – and you get a charming, uncomplicated, zabardast entertainer. A veritable kitschy mithai shop brimming over with hazaar goodies.The director and art director have got every tiny detail right, and even the ensemble cast ( guests at all the shaadis) are well picked and perfectly costumed. Vaibhavi Merchant’s choreography sizzles - and how. Don’t be surprised if Anoushka displaces Sheila and Munni with her tawa hot moves. And yes – Ranveer can dance, saala!
*********
I watched Ashutosh Gowarikar’s movie ( can’t even remember the name) and my heart sank. That it would tank was obvious from the first few shots – yes – they were that cringe making. And I felt really, really bad for Gowarikar, who is one of our very few sincere and competent film makers. Such an awesome subject… and such a dheela film! After watching BBB, once again I thought about all these ‘important’ movies with monstrous budgets that sink at the box office and everybody loses money and face! What a colossal waste - of talent and big bucks. Then there are the other time pass ‘entertainers’ with Godzilla budgets that also flop miserably and money goes straight down the tube. The other weird category involves super productions running into crores and crores where audiences don’t ‘see’ the money ( meaning, while watching a ‘Jodha –Akbar’, the scale and vision are enough to justify the stated cost. Ditto for a ‘Robot’). Most of the rest are pure junk – shabby at all levels. It is the superstar actor who eats up all that lolly – and then doesn’t deliver. Which is why the success of a BBB is vital to keep the film industry machine well- oiled and moving. Here, the script is king. Which is really what defines cinematic success. BBB demonstrates yet again ( like DDLJ once did), that if a production house sticks to its core competence and to subjects that are in its dna ( Panju shaadi-waadis, bhangra beats and gori gori kuddis in patialas romancing hard core pappeys in tight- tight jeans ), the formula works big time. Delhi has never looked this irresistible, seductive and fun – a major feat in itself.
**************
This appeared in Bombay Times on Monday.
YRF Ka Dhinchak Band Baj Gayaa….
Go watch this feel good, fun film that has slipped in quietly into multiplexes minus any band baaja, shor-wor, marketing-sharketing… and stolen hearts. Goes to prove one simple truth – an original always scores.You don’t need obscene budgets, item songs, mega stars or aggressive\innovative promotional activity when the movie itself is terrific. Word of mouth is by far the most powerful tool in this business. And going by the buzz, last Friday’s modestly made ‘Band Baaja Baraat’ is bound to score a bull’s eye at the box office. It may do the trick for Yash Raj Films, the same way that a sleeper hit once salvaged R.K.Films with ‘Bobby’, which starred an unknown called Dimple and the bossman’s teenage son( Rishi Kapoor) as lead players. In BBB, Aditya Chopra has sensibly picked a taaza mazedaar team and introduced a kudda ( Ranveer Singh) who is as Panju as a tandoori kukkad. Here’s a debut that holds much promise and is worth noting since the young man is not a filmi son, brother, son-in-law, nephew, cousin, step-son. But the guy can act and dance with the best. His sense of timing is terrific, and his macho-crudo character who insists on talking with his mouth stuffed with bread-pakoras, is as authentic as sarson da saag.But beyond the lead players ( Anoushka Sharma’s spirited Shrutti is adorable), it is the crackling dialogue (Habib Faisal) that’s the real star. Maneesh Sharma, the debutant director rarely misses a cue - the casting is spot on, especially the flower supplier and the snooty-bitchy Sainik Farms wedding planner who cons her clients by short changing them all the way – whether it’s on the lilies or the lights. Combine this simple story of two Dilliwalla youngsters who are partners in a ‘binnas’ ( ‘Shaadi Mubarak’) and dying to move up the pecking order, from dhinchak Janakpuri weddings put together for a couple of lakhs to staging multi crore super extravaganzas at massive havelis – and you get a charming, uncomplicated, zabardast entertainer. A veritable kitschy mithai shop brimming over with hazaar goodies.The director and art director have got every tiny detail right, and even the ensemble cast ( guests at all the shaadis) are well picked and perfectly costumed. Vaibhavi Merchant’s choreography sizzles - and how. Don’t be surprised if Anoushka displaces Sheila and Munni with her tawa hot moves. And yes – Ranveer can dance, saala!
*********
I watched Ashutosh Gowarikar’s movie ( can’t even remember the name) and my heart sank. That it would tank was obvious from the first few shots – yes – they were that cringe making. And I felt really, really bad for Gowarikar, who is one of our very few sincere and competent film makers. Such an awesome subject… and such a dheela film! After watching BBB, once again I thought about all these ‘important’ movies with monstrous budgets that sink at the box office and everybody loses money and face! What a colossal waste - of talent and big bucks. Then there are the other time pass ‘entertainers’ with Godzilla budgets that also flop miserably and money goes straight down the tube. The other weird category involves super productions running into crores and crores where audiences don’t ‘see’ the money ( meaning, while watching a ‘Jodha –Akbar’, the scale and vision are enough to justify the stated cost. Ditto for a ‘Robot’). Most of the rest are pure junk – shabby at all levels. It is the superstar actor who eats up all that lolly – and then doesn’t deliver. Which is why the success of a BBB is vital to keep the film industry machine well- oiled and moving. Here, the script is king. Which is really what defines cinematic success. BBB demonstrates yet again ( like DDLJ once did), that if a production house sticks to its core competence and to subjects that are in its dna ( Panju shaadi-waadis, bhangra beats and gori gori kuddis in patialas romancing hard core pappeys in tight- tight jeans ), the formula works big time. Delhi has never looked this irresistible, seductive and fun – a major feat in itself.
Monday, December 13, 2010
It has been a lovely weekend, with a traditional Godh Bharai ceremony that brought me enormous joy.
I have been receiving calls and mails from various people to say that my name does indeed feature in the Radia tapes! And I am immensely flattered that Ms. Radia has a very poor opinion of me.... she is overheard telling someone I am not her kind of journo!!! Should I throw a celebratory party??? I take it as a supreme compliment!
************
This appeared yesterday in the Sunday Times of India.....
*****************
Insaaf for Raja - Rakhee Sawant- Ishstyle….!
It does not matter whether Rakhee Sawant knows 2G from ‘Haanji’. People outside the telecom industry are equally clueless, including those experts battling it out on national television , night after agonizing night. All we know is that there has been a major gadbad ghotala involving some really zabardast corporate guys, and that the country has been looted of lakhs of crores. Naughty, really naughty. These sort of ‘rascalas’ need Superstar Rajni , not Kapil Sibal to rescue them . There are so many versions floating around about these bad guys that even Brahmadev’s personal intervention won’t help us to get our heads around this mega scandal. If Brahmadev is sensible, he’ll stay out of the mess and watch the drama unfold from his lofty perch in Swarag. But this indifference from heavenly bodies should not deter the bloodhounds of the legal system from going for the kill. So far, their efforts have been, clumsy, comical and amateurish. It’s like being forced to sit through a black-and-white Bud Abbott and Lou Castello film with bumbling cops tripping over their own toes as they chase nimble robbers. Look at the modus operandi employed so far - those meaningless ‘raids’ on Raja’s properties , months and weeks after the guy has cleaned out and cleaned up ( someone obviously forgot to tell the sleuths the horse had bolted weeks ago). The craftily timed leaks ( what fun – we are in sync with Julian Assange finally!). The charges and counter charges flying around in this absurd ‘whodunit’ that boasts of a stellar star cast. And grabbing all the headlines (but staying out of serious trouble) is India’s own Mata Hari or Hunterwali – Fearless Radia.
We are told by those-who-know, ‘You ain’t seen nuthin yet.’ Miles and miles of tapes still remain in those cans, with more names, more revelations , coming up. The idea is to release key leaks when attention levels in the scandal start to flag. Sitting on stuff that can potentially destroy careers and reputations in one swift stroke, is a priceless khazana for government agencies to hang on to.Confuse the enemy, advised Confucius centuries earlier. Let the scamsters sweat, say our Babus! Those shivering in their pants, saris and salwar kameezes, waiting for the next bombshell to drop, can make life slightly easier for themselves by hiring interlocutors ( love the word!). Any Bollywood style ‘setting’ needs swift and efficient damage control. This is the time when powerful touts make the real bucks. As we have seen in the ‘Adarsh’ case, key files can and do disappear ( a large window to facilitate easy disappearance is always factored into the deal, even as noises are being made about taking action against culprits). Once evidence is destroyed, what remains??
Aaha – this is where Rakhee Sawant comes in. Anybody who has watched this unstoppable force of nature in action on a show that sees her meting out instant justice to cowering participants, will tell you she is the most admired ‘judge’ in India. Forget ‘law-shaw’ and other such formalities.Rakhee single handedly skewers, grills and punishes those she thinks deserve no mercy. A suicide here and there, doesn’t bother her. The sentence is passed remorselessly…. and God help you if you think there has been a total miscarriage of justice – there is no higher court than Rakhee’s in the land. Wonder of wonders – Rakhee has more credibility than some of our real life judges. People who watch her show, believe in her and agree with most of her ‘verdicts’.
Which is more than can be said about the way the 2G expose is being handled.All of India is stupefied and laughing out loud at the absurdity of the ongoing battle royale between mighty industrialists and powerful politicians. Kapil Sibal has the worst job in the cabinet. He has announced a one man ‘committee’ ( surely more than one person makes up a committee?), to ‘examine appropriateness of procedures adopted by DoT in the issuance of licenses and allocation of spectrum during the period 2001-2009…..” Yada yada yada. We pretty much know the outcome – how different can it possibly be to all the collective outcomes of similar, well -intentioned enquiries of the past? Nobody believes in those pointless show cause notices. Nobody believes that any of the high profile rogues floating around will ever see the inside of a jail. And nobody believes the truth ( such as it is) will ever come out. So why not spare the time and expense involved in this mockery of an investigation ? Whether it was the BJP or the NDA, whether Rajeev Chandrashekhar is wrong and Ratan Tata, right… as of now, everybody is in the same over stuffed basket filled with ignominious charges.
What if Rakhee Sawant were to summon the main players into her ‘court’ and invite
the people of India to judge for themselves, there and then? On the spot verdict! That would be the ultimate reality show with ratings going through the roof. Imagine the visual – Rakhee as Judge, clad in her trademark cleavage revealing outfits, spouting priceless lines as she cross examines Raja and Co.Her over glossed pout puckering up as she creases that tightly stretched brow, leans forward, tossing masses of hair extensions, and asks provocatively, “ Ab tera kya hoga, Raja…?”
Raja may chortle and say, “Mere paas bungla hai, gaadi hai, daulat hai…”
That will be Rakhee’s cue to summon her ace witness who will then demolish Raja by thundering ,‘Mere paas Amma hai.”
Case dismissed.
India will go back to sleep.
I have been receiving calls and mails from various people to say that my name does indeed feature in the Radia tapes! And I am immensely flattered that Ms. Radia has a very poor opinion of me.... she is overheard telling someone I am not her kind of journo!!! Should I throw a celebratory party??? I take it as a supreme compliment!
************
This appeared yesterday in the Sunday Times of India.....
*****************
Insaaf for Raja - Rakhee Sawant- Ishstyle….!
It does not matter whether Rakhee Sawant knows 2G from ‘Haanji’. People outside the telecom industry are equally clueless, including those experts battling it out on national television , night after agonizing night. All we know is that there has been a major gadbad ghotala involving some really zabardast corporate guys, and that the country has been looted of lakhs of crores. Naughty, really naughty. These sort of ‘rascalas’ need Superstar Rajni , not Kapil Sibal to rescue them . There are so many versions floating around about these bad guys that even Brahmadev’s personal intervention won’t help us to get our heads around this mega scandal. If Brahmadev is sensible, he’ll stay out of the mess and watch the drama unfold from his lofty perch in Swarag. But this indifference from heavenly bodies should not deter the bloodhounds of the legal system from going for the kill. So far, their efforts have been, clumsy, comical and amateurish. It’s like being forced to sit through a black-and-white Bud Abbott and Lou Castello film with bumbling cops tripping over their own toes as they chase nimble robbers. Look at the modus operandi employed so far - those meaningless ‘raids’ on Raja’s properties , months and weeks after the guy has cleaned out and cleaned up ( someone obviously forgot to tell the sleuths the horse had bolted weeks ago). The craftily timed leaks ( what fun – we are in sync with Julian Assange finally!). The charges and counter charges flying around in this absurd ‘whodunit’ that boasts of a stellar star cast. And grabbing all the headlines (but staying out of serious trouble) is India’s own Mata Hari or Hunterwali – Fearless Radia.
We are told by those-who-know, ‘You ain’t seen nuthin yet.’ Miles and miles of tapes still remain in those cans, with more names, more revelations , coming up. The idea is to release key leaks when attention levels in the scandal start to flag. Sitting on stuff that can potentially destroy careers and reputations in one swift stroke, is a priceless khazana for government agencies to hang on to.Confuse the enemy, advised Confucius centuries earlier. Let the scamsters sweat, say our Babus! Those shivering in their pants, saris and salwar kameezes, waiting for the next bombshell to drop, can make life slightly easier for themselves by hiring interlocutors ( love the word!). Any Bollywood style ‘setting’ needs swift and efficient damage control. This is the time when powerful touts make the real bucks. As we have seen in the ‘Adarsh’ case, key files can and do disappear ( a large window to facilitate easy disappearance is always factored into the deal, even as noises are being made about taking action against culprits). Once evidence is destroyed, what remains??
Aaha – this is where Rakhee Sawant comes in. Anybody who has watched this unstoppable force of nature in action on a show that sees her meting out instant justice to cowering participants, will tell you she is the most admired ‘judge’ in India. Forget ‘law-shaw’ and other such formalities.Rakhee single handedly skewers, grills and punishes those she thinks deserve no mercy. A suicide here and there, doesn’t bother her. The sentence is passed remorselessly…. and God help you if you think there has been a total miscarriage of justice – there is no higher court than Rakhee’s in the land. Wonder of wonders – Rakhee has more credibility than some of our real life judges. People who watch her show, believe in her and agree with most of her ‘verdicts’.
Which is more than can be said about the way the 2G expose is being handled.All of India is stupefied and laughing out loud at the absurdity of the ongoing battle royale between mighty industrialists and powerful politicians. Kapil Sibal has the worst job in the cabinet. He has announced a one man ‘committee’ ( surely more than one person makes up a committee?), to ‘examine appropriateness of procedures adopted by DoT in the issuance of licenses and allocation of spectrum during the period 2001-2009…..” Yada yada yada. We pretty much know the outcome – how different can it possibly be to all the collective outcomes of similar, well -intentioned enquiries of the past? Nobody believes in those pointless show cause notices. Nobody believes that any of the high profile rogues floating around will ever see the inside of a jail. And nobody believes the truth ( such as it is) will ever come out. So why not spare the time and expense involved in this mockery of an investigation ? Whether it was the BJP or the NDA, whether Rajeev Chandrashekhar is wrong and Ratan Tata, right… as of now, everybody is in the same over stuffed basket filled with ignominious charges.
What if Rakhee Sawant were to summon the main players into her ‘court’ and invite
the people of India to judge for themselves, there and then? On the spot verdict! That would be the ultimate reality show with ratings going through the roof. Imagine the visual – Rakhee as Judge, clad in her trademark cleavage revealing outfits, spouting priceless lines as she cross examines Raja and Co.Her over glossed pout puckering up as she creases that tightly stretched brow, leans forward, tossing masses of hair extensions, and asks provocatively, “ Ab tera kya hoga, Raja…?”
Raja may chortle and say, “Mere paas bungla hai, gaadi hai, daulat hai…”
That will be Rakhee’s cue to summon her ace witness who will then demolish Raja by thundering ,‘Mere paas Amma hai.”
Case dismissed.
India will go back to sleep.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Cool Carla Vs.Hot Michelle....!
Since there is a meaningless sartorial debate raging..... here's my take on the American First Lady. As for Carla.... I hope and pray she and hubby Sarko do produce their 'Made-in-India' beta - the one they prayed for at the Ajmer durgah .
*******************
Forget her funny frocks (whatever happened to the famous Lady O style?), and focus on her funny lines (“Ask my husband tough questions,” she urged students in Mumbai – and they did!). Michelle Obama won the popularity stakes hands down even as Barack, the ‘Most Powerful Man on Earth’ (still?) attempted and failed the charm offensive. You know why? Michelle was herself, while the President was programmed. He may have one of the toughest jobs in the world, but hey – hers is not that easy either. If anything, it’s equally demanding and less acknowledged. Being First Lady is not what it used to be. The birdlike Mrs. Reagan had perfected the ‘the gaze’, Mrs. Clinton, the scowl, while nobody remembers what it was that Mrs. Bush contributed to her husband’s presidency. But here comes Michelle – a strapping, handsome woman with a Harvard law degree, who started her innings rather shakily with a couple of unorthodox remarks that shook the establishment and got the media on high alert. Perhaps the President’s minders advised her to back off and zip up, for after those early, unguarded provocative comments that were dubbed ‘racist’ ( sweet irony), the first Black American woman to occupy the White House has won admirers across the world for her warmth and spontaneity. In fact, her ratings are at an all time high, even as Barack struggles to deal with a major setback in Congress back home. His India visit couldn’t have been worse timed – for him and us. He picked mid-Diwali to visit. It’s a little like Manmohan Singh picking a X’Mas or Thanksgiving weekend to call on the Obamas and expecting the average Joe in Washington to hang around and welcome him. Well, Singh may be King in India, and the comparison isn’t too apt, but you get the drift. Michelle was expected to make up for her husband’s glumness and lack of charm, which she did in abundance. Now here’s the catch – she did not take the old route where all the First Ladies were required to do on state visits was look good and smile a lot ( yoo hoo Jackie O!). Michelle, in her own special way, demonstrated an important trait – she was convincingly her own woman, speaking her mind spontaneously and reaching out generously to one and all. Michelle won our hearts. Obama’s job was to win our minds. Between the two, it was clearly Michelle who emerged the real star.
It takes a great amount of intelligence for a woman in her position to underplay her own personality without it appearing fake. My guess is the Obamas are on to a good thing in their marriage. She has no ego issues, and neither does he when it comes to his wife. Unlike Hillary Clinton, who often came across a bit too strongly and appeared unattractively feisty, Michelle’s personality is appealingly non-threatening - to men and women. Kids, of course, adore her – she speaks their lingo and accesses their world effortlessly ( playing hop scotch in Mumbai didn’t look like a staged photo-op at all ) . Her smile reaches her eyes and when she listens to her husband, she does so attentively but not rapturously. This pleases the feminist in all of us.
Much has been written about her dress sense and how local fashionistas were disappointed that she picked frumpy ‘safe’ outfits in drab colours for her India trip while her myriad fans had hoped for brights and bling. I had visualized her in a vibrant rani pink saree with chunky accessories or something a little more exotic (would have happily settled for a peacock brooch!). But it was her extraordinary ability to connect in a sincere and transparent way that shone through. If her husband ( Mr. Teleprompter ) managed to salvage his rather lackluster Mumbai chapter when he addressed both Houses of parliament in Delhi and came up with a few sparklers, it was Michelle Obama who walked away with our genuine admiration. As she waved her final goodbye, I found myself singing an old Bollywood hit picturised on Zeenat Aman several moons ago…. “ Chura liya hai dil…”
Barack Obama – we love your missus.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Barkha Badnaam Hui.....!
Had dinner with Cherie Blair last night and frankly, she didn't blow me away. Dressed in an ice blue salwaar kameez ( some Delhi designer called Jain - her favourite), the Blair lady came through as a competent , clever but cold woman. She is a successful lawyer, and she never drops her guard. She was in Mumbai as the star attraction at one of those high profile conventions where earnest, determined ladies talk about 'empowerment' and then go off to some wealthy person's mansion to take those discussions forward over chilled wine and hot food.
Of course, they mean well... and I am being cynical...
************
This appeared in Bombay Times on monday...
A good reputation is a little like pregnancy…or lycra( either you have it, or you don’t). Similarly, either a woman is pregnant or she is not. A woman cannot claim to be ‘ a little pregnant.’ The last couple of weeks have been tumultuous for those of us in media, with Barkha Dutt getting the worst of it! To extend the earlier argument – the Radia tapes furore was like a virginity test in which the ‘badnaam’ woman ( Barkha) had to ‘prove’ to the world that she is indeed ‘pure’ and untouched. A tough exam for a seasoned journo to undertake, given that everybody with even half an opinion had already jumped into the fray and pronounced her ‘pregnant’….. err….. guilty. She herself was ready for the agni pariksha, as is evident from the grilling she subjected herself to last week – a grilling by peers, at that. Never mind if the dramatic show yielded nothing of consequence and Barkha’s detractors crowed it was a load of baloney that did not salvage her tattered image. Her frequent references to ‘an error of judgment’ made it worse for her… after all, a person at her level gets there because he or she possesses an invaluable asset - credibility.The faith and trust of viewers is built on believing that their favourite anchor is like Ceaser’s wife – above and beyond suspicion. Once that delicate bond is broken – what remains? A face saving exercise? Barkha has been a formidable force in Indian journalism. She has expertly steered her television channel for years and established an image of a feisty, fearless journalist, unafraid of taking on the biggest and scariest in public life. She has carved out a fan base across the world… but equally, she has attracted her share of detractors ready to pull her down ( remember the vicious and sustained hate campaign launched against her post the 26\11 terror attacks?). Barkha is a pretty tough, exceedingly well connected person. She will ride this crisis out as well. And hopefully, vindicate her position… prove her critics wrong. That is not the point. The fact that she has found herself in this sorry situation in the first place, has shaken up the media world and led to the sort of public discourse about ethics in journalism, that has not been witnessed since the Emergency. If Barkha is squirming, she has every reason to. From being the Untouchable, she finds herself on the other side of the kind of fiery debates she has expertly presided over in the past.
Sympathetic colleagues and columnists are talking about ‘witch hunts’ and public lynching. To some, Barkha is the unfortunate victim, the obvious target, of a scandal which remains hazy even now. That’s how it generally goes… in any controversy, it is often one single individual who emerges as the face of that sordid mess. Pity that face belongs to Barkha and not any of the other, equally high profile players whose conversations on those debatable tapes are far more lethal and dodgy. To Barkha’s credit, it must be said, her comeback to all the accusations has been spirited (if not entirely convincing). She has taken the grilling on the chin, and continues with her life on camera, like a good professional. But larger questions still remain – when does a journalist sell out??? Is it only about scale ( a gifted designer bag worth one lakh is acceptable, but diamond jewellery or a gas agency is not)? Bribes are bribes – and frankly, everybody recognizes one, regardless of the price tag. In Barkha’s case, it isn’t about financial gains. It is about ethics. Power is indeed heady … how a person wields it, defines character. A journo may claim he or she is completely honest and has never accepted even a free pen from someone. But if that person has traded information or attempted to interfere in political decisions that impact our lives – that sort of influence peddling has far reaching implications which are worse than a gushy film review or a plug for an unworthy fashion designer.
We live in dangerous times.
***************
There is something awfully sweet, old fashioned and loveable about Rishi Kapoor.Baap ho to aisa.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Dog eat dog?Bitch bite bitch...??
This appeared in the Asian Age \ Deccan Chronicle on saturday....
Welcome to the latest Reality Show in town. It features mediawallas of all hues, shapes, temperaments and sizes in a delicious free-for-all in which accusations get hurled, excuses are trotted out and participants indulge in a kiddish ‘mine-is-bigger-than-yours competition.. unfortunately, so far, these shows have not thrown up a Dolly Bindra. But we do have our Fearless Radia ( Hunterwalli) to fall back on, once she’s done with being politically correct and ‘propah’.The funniest aspect of the current Radia imbroglio is that outside media circles, nobody really cares one way or the other as to who peddled influence, who traded information, who squealed, who leaked, who was whose chamcha.In fact, I received a pretty telling email from a friend who happened to be traveling in a local Mumbai train this week and merrily eavesdropping conversations.That was the day some hysterical news anchors were banging on about ‘Barkhagate.” Apparently, one young commuter turned to the other and asked, “But who is this Barkha Gate?” The other answered confidently, “Oh, she is Bill Gate ki wife.” The first one vigorously shook his head and said, “No yaar… that one’s name is Melinda,” To which the second fellow replied, “That’s the first wife, yaar. Barkha Gate is the new one. Melinda left Bill because he was giving away all their money to charity.’’ This is the level of awareness and ignorance. That too in our cities. Do you really believe the small town Joe is bothered by all this tamasha over lobbying-shobbying… who said what… who is on buddy terms with Rahul… who is in Ratan’s inner circle… who can make or break politicians… who can guarantee cabinet positions. Come off it. This is complete ‘dikhaawa’. As a powerful media guy commented in a droll, bored fashion while watching Joan of Arc ( Barkha) defend herself in front of a pretty ‘phoos’ panel of mighty editors ( Vinod Mehta sensibly opted out of this ‘unedited’ farce). Why was this exercise undertaken in the first place? Said the media man, “It was to prove how bold and transparent the channel is…” Did it serve that purpose, assuming that was the intention? And is a Media on Trial reality show going to be the next big thing on television? Pleeeaaase! Spare a thought for those poor viewers ( a paltry number to begin with ), who have had enough of all this worthless chest beating in public. Are we running Kangaroo Courts all of a sudden? Why do we want to burn star journos at the stake? Crucify a few, spare the others? Simply because some journos capture public imagination more than others. When the going is good, nobody complains. Stardom is like that – up one day, gone the next. Why crib? Barkha’s usual jauntiness was missing as she got all teary eyed and ended her impassioned defence by admitting she had been ‘silly and gullible’… implying that’s no crime! Honey….when you are in such an exalted position ( editor-in-chief), you really have no business being either ‘silly’ or ‘ gullible’. That is the real crime! Even rookie reporters know their jobs are on the line if they goof up on camera or in print. One simply can’t hide behind something as flimsy as naivete. The immense responsibility of the job dictates otherwise. One hell of a lot was at stake in these recent disclosures. Any senior, seasoned journalist knows how this game is played. To seek refuge in ‘gullibilty’ is to shirk responsibility…. and stretch credibility. I expected better from Barkha. Over the years I have been a staunch supporter and fan, particularly during the after math of the 26\11 terror attacks when she was being blasted by critics baying for her blood ( I still think she is bloody good at what she does – therefore the disappointment).But I really didn’t think she would fall back on that stale,over- used girlie cliché - ‘Why me?’ - in this ongoing scandal. Sorry, that weak line of argument does not wash. Ever. Worse, I certainly didn’t want to hear one of the panelists making an idiotic comment like, “ Maybe it is because you are so pretty.” Aaaaargh! There went the entire ‘gravitas’ of the show…. right then… right out of that studio floor…. as Barkha simpered, blushed, grinned and said, “At last a compliment from you…” Several hearts sank at that moment. Mine, for sure. What could have been a truly seminal television moment was reduced to a sexist joke. A pity…. because there was Barkha’s bete- noire (and media’s latest darling), Manu Joseph ( editor of OPEN) all set to play the matador about to slay the bull with a final sweep and dramatic thrust ….when poooof! all the garam hawa was taken out of the show, which was then hastily wrapped up by a visibly distressed Sonia Singh, much to the viewer’s annoyance and frustration.
What happens next? Precisely nothing. Media big wigs will go into a self righteous mode and claim to clean up their acts by showing lobbyists and touts the door. Other tv channels will come up with their own media reality shows that they hope will beat the breast beating and emotional atyachaar on parade on rival channels. TRPs will still remain thanda…. what to do, yaar? Viewers would much rather watch Sheila ki Jawani than Barkha ki Diwani.
‘We, the People’ are like that only…..
*************
Hell .... I'm pooped! Have been on a whirlwind book tour. Bangalore and Chennai. I enjoy both the cities... especially at this time of the year.Gitanjali Kirloskar and Kiran Majumdar Shaw shared the dais with me in Bangalore. While Anita Ratnam and Jayanti Natarajan did the honours in Chennai . The level of dialogue at both the venues was superlative, stimulating and FUN!
Welcome to the latest Reality Show in town. It features mediawallas of all hues, shapes, temperaments and sizes in a delicious free-for-all in which accusations get hurled, excuses are trotted out and participants indulge in a kiddish ‘mine-is-bigger-than-yours competition.. unfortunately, so far, these shows have not thrown up a Dolly Bindra. But we do have our Fearless Radia ( Hunterwalli) to fall back on, once she’s done with being politically correct and ‘propah’.The funniest aspect of the current Radia imbroglio is that outside media circles, nobody really cares one way or the other as to who peddled influence, who traded information, who squealed, who leaked, who was whose chamcha.In fact, I received a pretty telling email from a friend who happened to be traveling in a local Mumbai train this week and merrily eavesdropping conversations.That was the day some hysterical news anchors were banging on about ‘Barkhagate.” Apparently, one young commuter turned to the other and asked, “But who is this Barkha Gate?” The other answered confidently, “Oh, she is Bill Gate ki wife.” The first one vigorously shook his head and said, “No yaar… that one’s name is Melinda,” To which the second fellow replied, “That’s the first wife, yaar. Barkha Gate is the new one. Melinda left Bill because he was giving away all their money to charity.’’ This is the level of awareness and ignorance. That too in our cities. Do you really believe the small town Joe is bothered by all this tamasha over lobbying-shobbying… who said what… who is on buddy terms with Rahul… who is in Ratan’s inner circle… who can make or break politicians… who can guarantee cabinet positions. Come off it. This is complete ‘dikhaawa’. As a powerful media guy commented in a droll, bored fashion while watching Joan of Arc ( Barkha) defend herself in front of a pretty ‘phoos’ panel of mighty editors ( Vinod Mehta sensibly opted out of this ‘unedited’ farce). Why was this exercise undertaken in the first place? Said the media man, “It was to prove how bold and transparent the channel is…” Did it serve that purpose, assuming that was the intention? And is a Media on Trial reality show going to be the next big thing on television? Pleeeaaase! Spare a thought for those poor viewers ( a paltry number to begin with ), who have had enough of all this worthless chest beating in public. Are we running Kangaroo Courts all of a sudden? Why do we want to burn star journos at the stake? Crucify a few, spare the others? Simply because some journos capture public imagination more than others. When the going is good, nobody complains. Stardom is like that – up one day, gone the next. Why crib? Barkha’s usual jauntiness was missing as she got all teary eyed and ended her impassioned defence by admitting she had been ‘silly and gullible’… implying that’s no crime! Honey….when you are in such an exalted position ( editor-in-chief), you really have no business being either ‘silly’ or ‘ gullible’. That is the real crime! Even rookie reporters know their jobs are on the line if they goof up on camera or in print. One simply can’t hide behind something as flimsy as naivete. The immense responsibility of the job dictates otherwise. One hell of a lot was at stake in these recent disclosures. Any senior, seasoned journalist knows how this game is played. To seek refuge in ‘gullibilty’ is to shirk responsibility…. and stretch credibility. I expected better from Barkha. Over the years I have been a staunch supporter and fan, particularly during the after math of the 26\11 terror attacks when she was being blasted by critics baying for her blood ( I still think she is bloody good at what she does – therefore the disappointment).But I really didn’t think she would fall back on that stale,over- used girlie cliché - ‘Why me?’ - in this ongoing scandal. Sorry, that weak line of argument does not wash. Ever. Worse, I certainly didn’t want to hear one of the panelists making an idiotic comment like, “ Maybe it is because you are so pretty.” Aaaaargh! There went the entire ‘gravitas’ of the show…. right then… right out of that studio floor…. as Barkha simpered, blushed, grinned and said, “At last a compliment from you…” Several hearts sank at that moment. Mine, for sure. What could have been a truly seminal television moment was reduced to a sexist joke. A pity…. because there was Barkha’s bete- noire (and media’s latest darling), Manu Joseph ( editor of OPEN) all set to play the matador about to slay the bull with a final sweep and dramatic thrust ….when poooof! all the garam hawa was taken out of the show, which was then hastily wrapped up by a visibly distressed Sonia Singh, much to the viewer’s annoyance and frustration.
What happens next? Precisely nothing. Media big wigs will go into a self righteous mode and claim to clean up their acts by showing lobbyists and touts the door. Other tv channels will come up with their own media reality shows that they hope will beat the breast beating and emotional atyachaar on parade on rival channels. TRPs will still remain thanda…. what to do, yaar? Viewers would much rather watch Sheila ki Jawani than Barkha ki Diwani.
‘We, the People’ are like that only…..
*************
Hell .... I'm pooped! Have been on a whirlwind book tour. Bangalore and Chennai. I enjoy both the cities... especially at this time of the year.Gitanjali Kirloskar and Kiran Majumdar Shaw shared the dais with me in Bangalore. While Anita Ratnam and Jayanti Natarajan did the honours in Chennai . The level of dialogue at both the venues was superlative, stimulating and FUN!
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