ooooof. hate going away

ummmmm, there.... I said it! Hate going away. Blogging is addictive (even if you don't get paid to blog LIKE SOME PEOPLE WE KNOW!). It is also far better than maintaining a silly diary. Last night, at a posh dinner ( incredible pumpkin quiche! Great with chilled Pinot Grigio), the talk was about Mayawati.... she is on everybody's mind all of a sudden. I concentrated on the art ( excellent taste), not the arty people hanging around trying to sound extra-farty. New galleries, old galleries, auctions, architecture, heritage.... oh puh-leeze ...spare me the discourses. It was all wonderfully fake and self conscious - Mumbai's well bred, well read phoney brigade, sucking up to the firangs and trying hard to impress. We fled in under an hour, and listened to Gotan Project in the car. I have been promised Carla Bruni's cd by my son. If he doesn't deliver by tomorrow afternoon, I shall cancel his khichdi.
Meanwhile, the Euro Cup final on sunday is up for grabs! There are sponsored parties galore. Everybody wants a piece of the action - beer guys, hotels, socialites.... sab kuch phookat mein, boss. Why not? All that mauj majaa .... and Page 3 coverage too! What the hungry won't do for publicity and free daaru. Wokay.... on that note, I bid you adieu for now.
I want AB as my best friend. If he can 'present' Sanjay Dutt a 50 lakh AP watch (kis khushi mean?), he is definitely the sugar buddy to have.

Dubai ki Chakkar

Ok. so it is 45 degrees in the shade. And I must be demented to be Dubai bound at this time of the year. But I do have a daughter and son living there... and you know the rest about ma ki mamta etc. I'll be away for a week, bonding with the best. Like Akki, I may not 'waste ' my time blogging from there. But unlike Akki, my brain just might start shrinking in that desert, forcing me to seek more fertile pastures via the blog. Keep visiting. Am keeping my fingers crossed I don't get a Mika type passenger next to me. The last time I was returning from Kolkata, guess who was seated a row away? Yup, it was Mika. Lips all puckered up to kiss the first victim, after Rakhi Sawant.

akki at it

Don't we just love the guy?? Akshay Kumar may not be a Singggggh, but he sure is a KINGGGG! Such a funny man. When asked why he doesn't have a blog so far, he replied, " Do I look like the kind of guy who'd waste his time to sit at a computer writing away?" No, honey. That you most certainly don't. One needs a basic education.... matric fail will do. You definitely cannot and should not blog.You are meant for bigger and better things - most of your lissome leading ladies will testify to that. Action Kumar must stick to his special skills, and leave blogging to cerebral colleagues. If Akki was taking pot shots at Aamir, that's fine, too. I guess Bachchan is not included in this, since Akki will soon be dancing to a different tune. But at least the guy knows his limitations and is clever enough to focus media interest on what he does best - kick ass. If the latest film does brilliantly at the box office, then we shall forgive him his grey stubble and haggard face, and concentrate on those muscles - including those in his brain!

back.... but not for long

Good to know I was missed. I was, right?? Kolkata lived upto its promise, though the chingri malai didn't. Our cook at home, the eversmiling Anil ,does a far superior job of this delicately flavoured prawn dish. But at least I got to eat it with friends and make tch tch noises about falling standards and rising prices.
I was there as a jury member for a beauty pageant that has thrown up the likes of Bipasha, Koena and Celina over the years. All seriously oomphy ladies. Naturally every contestant on the ramp had Bollywood ambitions and stated them clearly, just in case there were a couple of B-Town producers\directors in the audience. At least two of the finalists were from Assam and mercifully did not talk about saving elephants\turtles\tigers\children if they won the title - they wanted to save themselves from a life of obscurity and hit the big time in Bollywood. Thank God that nauseating era of beauty queens wanting to save the world and work for Mother T are finally over. After much singing, dancing, prancing and preening, the lovely winner was crowned. She shed a few tears on cue, kissed her rivals and posed for the cameras while her beaming parents looked on proudly. Gawd! I'd never want my daughters there. This was my post-pageant thought as we jury members sampled fragrant biryani ( Bong-style, with a sprinkling of kewra water), and discussed Bollywood prospects for those beauties we'd just seen crowned. My face gave away nothing. Good luck, ladies...

Kolkata beckons

Guys, I am going to be away over the coming weekend. Can never resist a Kolkata visit, despite the travel time and the ridiculous flight schedules. I love Kolkata, and I'd like to believe Kolkata loves me! I have relatives there from my husband's side of the family (Hello Arjun!), and I have wonderful friends ( Hello Jayabrato!). Good company and great food form the basis of this on going love affair. As good a reason as any! I mean , think about it - good food cannot be enjoyed in isolation. And good frinds cannot be met over lousy food. They can.... but what's the point? Years ago, My husband and I spent an enchanting evening at Jayabrato's home discussing the BEAUTY of Topshe maach for forty-five minutes. We got to the taste later, after it was consumed. Post-dinner conversation revolved around, what else? Maach! What we should eat the next day, and the next. I have yet to master the subtle art of relishing betki\hilsa with refined delicacy . This involves an intricate skill using a dextrous tongue to discreetly remove the fine bones of the fish INSIDE the mouth, without choking or spitting. I tried it once and nearly died gagging on the damn things. I guess I had to concede I was no Sharmila Tagore at that point. Ever watched a Bong lady sucking on a fish head? Man.... that's what I call erotic! Surprising that Rituporno has not included such a sequence in his movies so far.Well.... I'm off. Smoked Hilsa, here i come. Back on the blog on monday. Ciao Ciao till then.

In Bruges

A bright and beautiful girlfriend ( I don't have any other kind!) called to say she liked my blog because it was soooo me!! Now, that's a compliment. Since it is so me, let me recommend a movie I watched last night with my sleepy daughter and thought was very me as well . Oh God, this is turning into a nauseating me, me, me post, and I am not even Kamalhassan or Aamir Khan! Sorry. Let's get back to the film - 'In Bruges' starring Colin (Yum!) Farrel and Ralph (Yummier) Fiennes. Of course, the film is very Irish. In other words, dark, dense and depressing. But it is also most intriguing, honest and freaky. The Video guy who has become my daughter's new best friend, told her it was a love story. She believed him. And I believed her! Love story?? Not a chance. Or, one can call it a verrrry twisted love story. As a thriller with more crazy twists than the Ganga, it is unbeatable. As a brutal portrait of life on the run for hired killers, it is insightful and scarey as hell! The script features midgets, prostitutes, perverts, dope dealers, priests, pregnant ladies and.... and... more. Watch it. Oh the title refers to the medieval Belgium town called Bruges. Amazingly enough, just a couple of weeks ago, A tv producer walked in to make me an offer I refused. He was from Bruges!And I am still alive!Ha!!!

Paradise is biryani

Biryani is to Hyderabad what foie gras is to the French - a near-orgasmic experience that can never be taken for granted. The good news for gourmets and gourmands is that the famous Paradise Biryani is now available at the spanking new airport, ready to travel long or short distances, in neat vaccum-sealed containers that keep the heat and flavours sealed in for hours! Priya, the pr girl (with the largest and most sparkling irises I've ever seen on a human), was kind enough to book the treat for me, well in time to catch my evening flight home. The new airport is seriously AMAZING. I mean, it is WOW and how!! Even as I was gasping and pinching myself while muttering, " Am I really in India?" iI spotted Kamalhassan greeting fans like a visiting emperor. Well, given the thanda response to Dashavataram, where the megalomaniac plays multiple roles ( like a schoolboy in a fancy dress contest), Kamal should have been bashful, not boastful. But that's the guy. And God help us.
I concentrated on the biryani and mirchi ka salan. The flight was late and bumpy. Had I allowed my mind to wander from the biryani, i would have been nervous. An Israeli defence consultant (spy!!), on the next seat was getting annoyingly chatty. And worse - receiving text messages in the sky! Didn't he hear the announcements asking passengers to switch off their mobile phones before take off? He breezily told me to relax - "you only die once," he added by way of reassurance. There were vile thoughts raging in my head about the varied uses of mirchi-ka-salan at that point.Then I figured, why waste the salan on this turkey? More tonite. Inshallah.