Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Prem Patra to God....!

I got back late last night after a hectic trip to the IIM - Bangalore. I was there to participate in a media conclave, aptly titled, 'Scripting the Future'. What blew me away was the campus! Was I in a rain forest or at one of Asia's top B-Schools? How can anybody possibly concentrate on STUDIES in an environment this lush and gorgeous? Young Abhimanyu from Delhi met me at the airport and we chatted for the next two hours ( that's how long the trip takes. The topics ranged from politics to bollywood. He told me how ridiculously tough it is to make the B-School cut. Once there, students start behaving like sharks in a small pond! There are 75 girls in his batch, and if anything, they are even more lethal when it comes to competing for top honours. Good on you, gurrrrrls! Lagey raho...

I stayed at the brand new Gardenia (ITC- owned), and once again, I felt I was in a forest - a tropical paradise. It is a gorgeous property designed to resemble Tipu Sultan's summer palace. The main motif is the tiger and it has been imaginatively incorporated - from chairs in the lobby, to wall hangings on each floor. What really took my breath away was the exceptional Japanese cuisine, under the able supervision of Madhu, a talented chef with a huge fan following. Course after course was meticulously served at 'EDO', and the moist black cod convinced me there was something rather inspirational going on in those kitchens. As V.Prakash made sure the sake flowed ( I stuck to an Australian Chardonnay), our conversation got increasingly animated. I forgot Bangalore goes to sleep by 11 30pm. I was still on Mumbai time!

I am leaving for Aurangabad in an hour. This is going to be a lunatic month for me. It's Delhi, Hyderabad, Baroda and the Maldives next. I shall make every effort to stay connected. But kya karoon ? Mazboori hai! That's what book promos are all about.But it's all good. The book is flying off the shelves... and that's reward enough.


This appeared in Sunday Times...
What in God’s name , is going on…?

Dear God,

This is going to be a really tough letter to write. I mean…. the world has like, changed dude! Most young people don’t believe you exist. When in doubt, they google you… and you know what? Your p.r. guys need to be sacked for complete and total misrepresentation…. check out the rubbish thrown up by the search engine. Depressing stuff, man. Totally not cool. It’s about time you got smart and joined some really hot social networking sites. Tweet away, darling. We want the real thing. Gyaan in your own words.And no special privileges for being God – 140 characters like everybody else, okay? Set up a face book account – don’t you want to know how many ‘friends’ you have on earth? Get your own interactive web site – and then watch the fun. Business first – where were you when we in India needed you the most? I mean, the country was holding its collective breath on the 30th of September, waiting for ‘The Verdict’. Anything could have happened – who can restrain our hot headed netas but your good self? But you were MIA - nowhere on the scene, leading to much confusion, as various groups fought over your official residence. Silly people! Every child in the world knows you prefer to live in the hearts of believers…. what’s the fuss over a monument? Do you really need one? Have you ever needed one? You are a free spirit, a nomad, a gypsy… you hang around in places where the vibes are good, that’s it. And how can vibes be good if there are angry, hostile people behaving like your estate agents and fighting for higher FSI?
As for the haalat of those three judges… oof oh…. they were landed with the toughest job in the world. Imagine being asked to decide which grand abode is your personal preference – a new temple or a demolished mosque? Nobody thought of asking you! If the monument is meant to please you, surely you should have a say in the matter? Is this khichdi what you want for yourself? Be frank, yaar. We’re having an informal , friendly chat…. we can always ask for an sms poll later. Speak your mind while there is still some time. The three wise men have suggested a three month pause. Three months is enough, right? It’s called a cooling off period , and we are hoping those who are in such a state of agitation right now, will calm down and think this through carefully. They’ll say 500 years of thinking has already gone into this debate. So what? Let 500 more years go. You’ll agree what’s most important at this point is sanity and calm. Status quo is not such a bad option. We human beings can be so stupid… here we are frothing at the mouth and making all sorts of claims over 2.7 acres of land. Agreed, land prices are going through the roof, but this is ridiculous. Fortunately, young people are more in tune with sensible solutions. They are all saying the same thing – give peace a chance. Not for them the futile exercise of proving and establishing that this is indeed your favourite hang out. This generation is pretty smart – no faltu time-waste for them. Whether they party in this disco or that one doesn’t really matter. So long as they have a good time. With fundas like these in place, they are laughing at all those old fogies hyperventilating on television and telling them , “ Get a life, you guys.” These kids are absolutely right. But will anyone listen? No. Because it suits netas of various hues to turn a deaf ear… it keeps them in business. What will politicians do if everybody was to agree with everybody else, especially on a red hot potato like this?
This is your moment, God. Get up and do your thing. Strut your stuff. Throw attitude.Tell those feuding fellows you’ll have none of it. Just tell them off! They may ignore you completely since in any case you are incidental in this man-made controversy. But speak up, you must. There are so many worthier issues that need immediate and urgent intervention. Our bachchas need schools, colleges…. toilets! Mandirs and Masjids do not help their cause, but temples of learning definitely do. Drill some sense into those chaps who are preparing for Round 2 with so much suspicion and hatred in their hearts. Advise them to open their eyes to India’s new realities… our restless youngsters are least interested in the politics of religion. They’ll settle for jobs and a better life, anyday. Let the netas co-opt the desires and dreams of the majority – India’s youth – into their future agendas, before launching into another protracted legal battle, that could go on for the next 18 or even 80 years. This is really too much, and as everybody was chanting that dramatic day, “ We need closure.” The verdict is out. Three bravehearts had taken on the unenviable task of decoding the sentiments of a billion plus people. The judgment is apolitical and bold. Who can possibly please and appease almost one fifth of humanity? Not even you! There is talk of ‘reconciliation’ but nobody is saying what exactly that means. Besides… can there be a board meeting without a Chairman – you??? Better that we put this centuries old issue behind us as quickly as possible, before a foreign hand gets into the fray and stirs up trouble. What say? Till then , you can chill. Pity you aren’t on BBM…. there is just so much important stuff that needs to be communicated to you directly at this point…. so many messages that people want to post on your wall.
Tell you what…get yourself a better manager\lawyer to represent you. Then we’ll talk.
What an idea, God-ji!
Your devoted bhakt,


Varun said...

Bangalore is probably the only place that has preserved trees. Even though lots of them are being cut for the Metro to come in, we still have plenty of them. Glad you enjoyed your time here. Keep visiting :)

Radhika Gupta said...

nice post shobhaa... all these people who are fighting over a piece of land don't realise that God cannot reside in a place where there is no peace... no harmony...where so much of blood was shed...God lives in the hearts of good people...he doesn't need a piece of land for his abode...

Pooja Rathore said...

when i read the title of the post i said to myself Ma de and kannada (prema patra in kannnada means love letter)keep coming to Namma Bangaluru u r always welcome.
salute the decision of the Honorable Judges- Bold verdict.Good post.happy your book is doing well hope it continues to fly off the shelves.

cmpershad said...

`The judgment is apolitical and bold.'

Yet warmongers want to go to Supreme Court !!!!!!!!!!11111

P said...

nicely done... err said! :)
where in Maldives are you going to?
Malee? or a resort?

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Arbaaz Khan has sued u on twitter.. U r assaulted.. and u deserved this.

praj said...

the way you put it in words, nobody else did :)

Divya Virmani said...

Completely agree w/ the above comment. I wish I could think as creative as you do especially when it comes to words.

Dr.Ajeet said...

काश !ईश्वर आपका पत्र पढ पाता....

मेरी अंग्रेजी काफी कमजोर सो हिन्दी लिख रहा हूं वैसे आपके बेबाक लेखन का छात्र जीवन से प्रशंसक हूं

Khuzema said...

Are you idiot and writing about Dabang and other actor as they are your home servant. Let see how take this comment

Himanshu said...

HI nice saying may be the same going on the mind of god too who will win me Hindu or Muslims
the judgement divides God into three parts 2/3 Hindu and 1/3 muslim
God must not care he just made human being rest our own divisions
you know why we follow Murti puja?
becoz if Gid himself came we will surely kill him by pouring Mala, agarbatti, jalus loud kirtan etc.
thats why murti puja.

ms said...

actually, mz de, the country needs another 500 years to figure out the true identity of god. some people came along in the past and mistakenly thought that god is just one. but the lucknow bench of the allahabad court (??) has had the final say: god is hindu, muslim. other faiths are free to appoint another one for themselves. and nirmohi akhara simply must change their name: all this "moh" for a piece of land. i see a gigantic controversy in the making like the dwarka event where a child-like avatar of Krishna also claims land. today it is infant ram, tomorrow it will be infant gautam buddhha, then infant durga, infant lakshmi, infant hanuman, infant shiv, infant vishnu. we all know that Krishna and Ram are but the avatars of Vishnu, so how can one entity claim multiple lands under various names? i aks yous. thankfully, infant jesus only lays claim to bethlehem.

Jyostna said...

Yes Yes Yes we need the Chairman(God) to speak up..only he needs to tell us what he wants or else these maniacs will never ever understand who he is and wht say he has on this. btw this is a very sweet post from you Ms.De..very nicely put

My journey said...

Hi Shobhaa ji,
How could you travel that much at the age of 61? You have enormous energy. And i am very happy that your book is doing great. May it break all the records,. :)

goodluck said...

If you can write a letter to Ram, then he may need all other material things as well. Mandir issue was started to fight Mandal. Otherwise, it would have slept. The High court judges paralysed all disruptive elements temporarily by their verdict. But Supreme court may opt for a different verdict. And now the contention is seemingly in the name of god but it signifies something else. An elction trump card for the BJP, an answer to muslims' questions about their legitimate grievances which will be further stoked by opportunist politics played by SP, BSP etc. Though we want to brush aside all these things to think about RKM, we know in our hearts of hearts this vexed problem will raise its head again and again.

ever smiling survivor said...

The younger generation do realise that God is a free spirit.A bright young girl from ayodhya college said on national TV that "mandir aur masjid to bahut hai,hume job aur opportunities chaiye"Such a sensible generation.
By the way I just realised "shobhaa at 60" is only for female species!

NAT said...

On The Sale Of Your Book:

Congratulations are in Order.

Re The Ayodhya issue: One part for the Muslims, Two for Hindus.
Is this what we have come to. How can a so called respected Journal use this as the Headline and that too on the front page.
The Fourth Estate is taking this Country for a ride along with the politicians. It appears they are stoking/fanning the ashes.
They come up with some fantastic news, keep the patrons excited and then the bubble bursts. There is no follow up and what was news yesterday becomes yester year and forgotten.
They are so engrossed in blowing their own trumpet, that they are No.1, 2 and so on, just to keep their job.
They do not realize that there are subscribers who have seen through their gimmics, but have no other option and keep the subscription running due to the long standing relationship, and also as they are The King Amongst The Blind.
Over the years they have deterioted so badly that they do not care to edit the news, or if they do, the person at the helm does not know his job.
There are scores of grammatical and spelling errors, that one has to skip the sentances, and carry out the correction in ones mind, so that our standard is not affected (brought down to that level).
We all know how these characters want credit. They give freebees along with their papers and then say that we are No. 1, 2 etc.
The so called No. 1 beats Mid Day with the pin ups (Personally I have no grouse against this, but where is the news? where is the QUALITY)knowing very well with our kind of mind set that the sale will boom.....
We have a control over politicians to a certain extent, that is at the polls, but who will control these freeks in sheep clothing.



Dhaval said...

If you say most of the youths don't believe in god, then the temples, mosques, churches would be empty. It really feels sad to read such article from you.

Mohammed said...

Hi Shobhaa ji,
I am also from Bangalore, but now working in Dammam-Saudi Arabia. It was nice to know that you enjoyed your stay and verdure of Bangaluru.

Could you kindly arrange to send a copy of your book to me through one of your publishers or booksellers? I will make the payment.

Note: You have misspelt the word "Mazboori". Actually, it is "Majboori"

muhammadriyaz@rediffmail.com or muhammadriyaz@yahoo.com

*Aham* said...

IIM bangalore.. hope you got some speil for the book on Bebo.. if I am not galat 3idiots was shot there.

"scripting the future".. mast naam hai.. and so apt..
where all are u ghooming, you should soon become a brand ambassadorni of some airline.. it will be perfect strategy..


ITC ka forest look...

wow.. i love things that are .. rang-bhi-rangi or atrangi.. :)

lovely letter to Godji. :)

...the talk of babri is so popular that barbie dolls may soon be called babri dolls.

... glad that there seriously is no "sensationalism" left in non-secular politics.

hope the political goons get the message that it is most unsexy to fight over mandir-masjid and girijaghar.

our generation is more worried about tamil rajnikant and hindi rajni (salman)... and how robots are attacking our box office.

by the way do you know that Robot Plays Rajni in Robot.

news is that rajnikant's next film could be called "twitter" and he would play 140 characters there.

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Aakar said...

Mrs.Shobhaa De please apply Olay or any other skin ageing cream for urself because u can't see any young woman who's not got the wrinkles that u have got!!! U just crticise everthing... I agree wid u when u critcised Sonam kapoor but now u r crticising Malika Arora!! Whats wrong with u?

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Shrawan K Bhattacharjee said...

Interesting to read and it made me also write, what I was thinking about the incidence and many other related thoughts of mine. Do go thorough it at shrawansays.blogspot.com

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