Sunday, August 22, 2010

Games Politicos Play...

This appeared today in the Times of India....
CWG mess? Blame it on the stars…!

Yes baba, we know the Aussies totally love and adore us ( any number of bashed up students from India will vouch for this), but Dawn Fraser’s has taken the Aussie attitude to India a bit too far by asking Australian athletes to boycott the Games. “ I would hate to see another Munich…’ the 73-year-old grande dame of swimming declared recently, adding ominously, “… but with things getting worse and worse,I have grave concerns.” Worse and worse? Grave concerns about WHAT, lady? We are aware of all the stuff that has gone horribly wrong with the Games so far. We also know who is mainly responsible for this sorry state of affairs ( bow your heads in shame, you guys, and own up).But really, Ms. Fraser, we do take strong objections to your unfortunate and uncharitable remarks regarding security issues, especially during such a sensitive time. It’s a good thing you were ticked off by your own people, like the ACGA chief executive Perry Crosswhite who stated flatly, “ If security is not at the highest acceptable levels, Australia won’t be going. To suggest otherwise is to accuse us of being irresponsible and we are not.” Fortunately for India, security issues are the one thing that have not come under the scanner with even Commonwealth Games Federation chairman, Michael Fennell from Jamaica declaring security arrangements and planning to be “top class” and “very sound.” Phew! Chalo… ek toh certificate mil gaya. Finally , a few much needed brownie points for the battered Games. And music to our ears. Take that, Dawn.And don’t bother to come.
However,now that we know Madamji and the PMji are on the job, perhaps we can breathe easy… just a little. Why they had to wait till the nth minute to launch ‘Operation CWG’ and salvage the Games, we’ll never know. But we can hazard a guess. It’s called ‘‘Rajneeti – Dilli ishstyle.” There is an insightful cameo in the recent film ‘Peepli {Live}’ where a typical ‘Koi Hai’ babu ( sardonically played by Vijay Crishna) keeps repeating babudom’s favourite mantra , “ Let’s wait for the report…” even as the crisis in the village of Peepli escalates and reaches near-ludicrous proportions. Perhaps our wise and wonderful Prime Minister was waiting for some divine signal before moving in. But now that Ma Sonia has entered the picture and asserted herself (“….the government will look into the allegations of malpractice and spare no one found to be involved in them.”), Kalmadi and cronies must be shivering in their sneakers. Meanwhile, ten senior bureaucrats have been inducted into the proceedings to take what are cutely called ‘on the spot decisions’. These may involve momentous issues like changing the curtains and carpets in the apartments, which did not meet with Fennell’s high standards. But what the hell, it’s good to know someone has agreed to take on this thankless job and save whatever is left of India’s tattered prestige . Our dhobi ghats are overflowing with filthy, unwashed linen right now, and we will need more than just a magic ‘extra whitening power’ detergent to clean up those soiled clothes … err… reputations. It is typical of our mentality - now that the rot has gone public, several rats are abandoning the ship! The same rats that were happy to stay on board as long as the dirt remained out of sight. These were the people making ad hoc decisions and issuing arbitrary orders right and left right up to this juncture. The minute they heard a shrill whistle being blown, they fled at top speed.
One doesn’t really know how the Ten Brave Bureaucrats entrusted with the dirty job of sorting out the myriad tangles, will go about their unappetising assignment.But anybody who has dealt with Delhi Babudom will readily tell you that if anybody can get things done, get butts moving, get results… it is some of those nameless, faceless but all-powerful Babus. In reality, they run India. And they know it. Without their awesome interventions in matters big and small, the country would come to a standstill. What a great pity they were inducted into the running of the Games at his late stage. These are the real Marathon Men of our country – they know exactly when to hop, skip and jump. They are expert hurdlers and javelin throwers.Sharp shooters? That’s them! Oh… they are pretty good at shooting trouble, too. That leaves the vexing question of persuading international sports stars to pack their bags and participate in the Games without fearing for their safety… or caring about the quality of the toilet paper ( the best in the world!). Mr. Gill has already brought in the Great Indian Wedding as an apt if overused analogy and assured the phoren baraatis that ‘aaal eeez well,” or will be, by the time they land in Delhi. But before we start distributing laddoos and barfis in anticipation of pulling off the glitzy Games, let us assess the situation like sober parents of the blushing bride, who have taken a hefty loan to impress the future in-laws. Ahead of taking the saat pheras in October, let’s humbly seek the blessings of every God in the pantheon. At this stage, if there is one thing that can still save our face, it is divine intervention ( never mind the Rahu Antardasha astrologers are talking about). Knowing our efficient Babus, I’m sure a Maha Yagna is already underway. As to who will be ‘sacrificed’ to appease Bhagwan, I have a pretty good guess… the ‘K-factor’ isn’t lucky for everyone, alas.
Madhu Sapre came to meet me carrying an armload of fragrant Rajnigandha stems. Here's a Marathi Mulgi after my own heart - earthy, honest, beautiful. With that idiotic Tuff Shoes court case finally behind her, she is far more relaxed and happy to be home with her aie-baba, eating poha and drinking chai. As always, she spoke transparently about various issues, but mainly she spoke about herself, her inward journey, and the rather unexpected turning point when she realised she had the courage to face various aspects of her past and come to terms with them without wincing. She smiled , " I felt so relieved! I said to myself, ' Nice to meet you Madhu'!"
I wish I had taken her photograph at that precise moment - she looked radiant and freed of a burden she'd obviously been carrying around for over three decades. Back in Italy where she lives with her adoring husband, there are interesting developments as well. Her family has started a winery named Mara ,after her mother-in-law. Tenuta Mara is a bio- dynamic wine produced through the interaction of energies : land, air, soil, man. I can't wait to sip it!! But only after the 8th of September which marks the end of Shraavan.


Se2 said...

nice...satirical as usual...:)

Another Kiran In NYC said...

I think there was calculated method to their delaying taking action at obvious disarray.

Hamari Italian Bahu and our Blue turbaned PM were giving everyone plenty of rope and time to hang themselves. Besides, Madamji and Sirji have always been of the firm opinion that no one is more loyal than a paid civil servant or a friend whose kids have played with thiers.

Sirji was once One of the Brave Ones... remember!

This was one way to seperate the chaff from the grain. Madamji will now update her list of personanongrata for Rahul's administration. That list is going to be very long!

Why do I think Kalmadi will eventually get away scott free. That man is wily.

Bio dynamic? I thought all wine was that. You need have land, air, soil and man for any agriculture or processing. Making tharraa, cookies or homemade shev! It is all biodynamic without crystals hanging over them! There is something so wrong about marketing with this tagline. It is all about how it tastes yaar!

Glad to know Madhu is happy. She has always been my favorite marathi model mulgi. Best of luck with her wine venture. I am sure they process a great tasting wine.

चंद्रमौलेश्वर प्रसाद said...

" Michael Fennell from Jamaica declaring security arrangements and planning to be “top class” and “very sound.”

Dont you think it is an eyewash statement ... moreso in the same breath he said the corruption cases should be looked into...!!!!

obssesor said...

Nothing more than what we deserve.

UjjwalRaaj said...

Epic LOL.

Harish said...

doh people, ek import aur ek export... Sonia and Madhu. look at both their lives, the latter is on the climb and the other is suddenly looking lachaari and bechaari types.

the tuff lady has put her past behind and is ekdam takkatak now a days. guess she looks as phataaka as she used to during her milind days.

De, what sin has kalmaadi done? everything is a misunderstanding. The games are called " 'common' Wealth" games naa... poor kalmadi took it literally. Bechaara!

poor he, he just thought...
Muft ka chandan.. ghiss mere nandan. LOL

Latha said...

"Kalmadi and cronies must be shivering in their sneakers." eh ? Shobhaa, are you so naive ? Do you think that Mr Singh & Ms Gandhi didn't know a thing that was going on till the media cried, "murder".
'Ten brave bureaucrats' ? 'Oh… they are pretty good at shooting trouble, too.' Exactly. That's why they are hired shoot the for Kalmadi & co.(read for the Congress Govt). Even otherwise once the games begin, who is going to remember Kalmadi ? One more corruption. Bas, chalo apna rastha naap lo...apna kaam bahuth pada hai re! That's India madam.
'sober parents of the blushing bride, who have taken a hefty loan to impress the future in-laws'. Good joke. If this is true about North India, there is a huge North-South divide in this matter.
Down South, it is the upper middle class groom who should have taken hefty loans to pay as alimony once the bride leaves him at her whim & fancy.

Unknown said...

alas, mz de! you object to mz frazer spouting dire warnings to fellow ozzies about security but find it mentionworthy that 5 men out of 26 million beat up 20 indians out of the 90,000 overstaying their welcome there! remember why IPL was moved out of bangalore to mumbai? how many countries in the world have more than 12 of the 26/11 type of events in the past 18 years? i think dawn goofed up by bringing up munich (a one-off event) when she could have made her point by just bringing uo our own history of multiple terrorist attacks! c'mon, mz de - please bat a luscious lash at the 35 brides burnt everyday, 200 people murdered everyday in our wonderful metros, a few hundreds killed by way of property disputes, a measly 5 per week killed by honour killings and we haven't even counted the number of tourists who are raped and robbed and beaten daily but the media will not mention becoz of bad publicity. i suppose the jawans who secretly lose their lives at the borders, crp men who are murdered by naxals (sometimes beheaded) will have to wait for an arundhati roy intervention before we hear about them!! but, i digress. to more important matters: yep, CWG!! the games will be held, but in the most shoddy fashion, that is the true mark of events indian! the athletes will turn up at events late and unbathed! but not un-wiped since we ave concentrated on faecal considerations. they will be fed but it will be a momentary thing, in one end out the other in nano-seconds! outbreak of dengue and malaria, H1N1 (84 deaths in the past 3 weeks and 100s of new cases!!), floods which will leave destitutes and homeless thronging the CWG venues for shelter! delhi denizens want to leave the place in droves before the games begin and if i was mz dikshit, i will encourage this exodus instead of pleading with them to stay! i did not even know we had US$5 mn to spare for a nation that is wallowing in US aid (US$70 mn just last week!!) since the govt refuses to write-off farmer loans or distribute rotting foodgrains to the starving for free! i suppose the 20 indians (who got robbed and beat up by a few who had lost their jobs and saw some rich-after-selling-off-their-farms-for-crores-to-drive-taxis indians as fair game) are more significant than the poor sods who continue to live in this country. but then, we are so enamoured with phoren-returns!!
i say, jai ho! as the roman emperor said to the centurions before letting the lions and the christians into the stadium: let the games begin!

आचार्य said...

the fact remains that in india nothing is dealt with stricktness...any corrupt person easily gets off either by using his contacts or by bribing the right person,Whether it be any house allotment scam or the case of bpl cards or any other case.
Lets take the example of 26/11...its been almost two years and Kasab is still alive enjoying all kinds of facilities.Now compare it with 9/11... with in a few months whole of Afghanistan was destroyed.
Therefore certainly i think all these cases related to corruption in CWG are going to be burriedin files with time.
Lets just hope INDIA could clean up the CWG mess and pull it off.

wise donkey said...

during thehockey world cup cnnibn carried a sting on police selling tickets on black and allowing people in without security check..
if someone from within speaks about security its ok, but not when some foreigner speaks on it?

everyone is entitled to their views. why mix patriotism with it. in my view those in the Delhi police that earned it a bad name were worse than Dawn fraser

Sidhusaaheb said...

Since the leading athletes in so many disciplines are in any case not going to attend, how much difference does a Dawn Fraser make?

Sidhusaaheb said...

Ms. Dawn Fraser's fears might not have been completely unfounded.

Please see:

Buzzintown Blogger said...

It happens only in India
@Vineet i truly agree...lets hope 'all is well that ends well'

As far as statements by Sirji n Madamji are concerned they hold no good now.

Commonwealth Games
History of Commonwealth Games