Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Good Guy Vs.Bad Guy - who wins?

The Anna Show rides into town. Please eat, na? Why send the nation on a guilt trip? New Year revellers are in 'Khao, peeyo, mauj karo' mode. Khaali peeli party pooper kaiko banna ??


This appeared in Bombay Times today...

Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy… who wins??

“Kuch na kaho… kuch bhi na kaho!” What lyrics! What a song! Am seriously thinking of adopting it as an anthem for 2012. For there are times when silence speaks far more powerfully than words. And a ‘Mission’ gets ‘Accomplished’ without collateral damage taking place. But it’s still worth comparing and contrasting the styles of two big stars who have so much riding on them - one in Hollywood , the other in Bollywood. Tom Cruise and Shah Rukh Khan are eerily similar. Almost like twins separated at birth. Both are on top of their respective games while being closer to 50 than 40. Short, slim, compact and with prominent noses and great hair. Neither man qualifies as ‘handsome’ in the conventional sense. Both are family men with attractive wives…. no major scandals.And both are good actors – when they actually allow themselves to act. Given their phenomenal global fame, success and iconic status, they no longer need to act. That is, act as anything but themselves. Tom is Tom, SRK is SRK.Whether playing Ethan Hunt or Don, the men remain the same. One can predict the next smirk, crinkling of the eyes, lop-sided grin, creasing of the forehead, you name it, and it’s trotted out as if on cue. The hair looks great even if a nuclear device goes straight through it. And the chicks don’t stand a chance. Perhaps that’s what their die hard fans expect and want. But what about the rest? Sorry, but both guys have done themselves in with their predictability and programmed mannerisms. Considering this season’s two biggest hits ( yes, they are money spinners) depended so heavily on Brand Cruise and Brand SRK to propel them at the box office, look at what happens when a movie invests almost solely in star power and pays little attention to other factors. Like script,dialogue,background score, co-stars, logic,plausibility… a story! ‘Ghost Protocol’ boasts of heart-stopping action in the first half. I thought I was going to faint during the Dubai segment.Having visited the Burj Khalifa last month and suffered a serious bout of vertigo at ‘Atmosphere’, the super sexy bar on the 123rd floor, watching Cruise crawl up the sides of that 8th Wonder of the World was way too much for my tension levels. If only the movie had stopped right there! Post-interval it toppled over and collapsed into the desert sand with some maudlin’ rubbish about Ethan’s dead wife not being dead after all. Like anybody cared.
At least DON-2 didn’t fall into that trap. If anything, the pace picked up after the interval and the maara maari was better choreographed. What was seriously missing in both movies was oomph. Sex appeal.Glamour.One could understand Anil Kapoor’s unbelievably silly two minute role and forgive him for not taking it seriously. I mean… who could get turned on by Ms. Patton? The best desi scene in ‘Mission’ was the one where a silver tray loaded with an array of mobile phones is presented to Kapoor playing a media tycoon with a rogue satellite . For all those wondering whether we really do have local tycoons whose valets bring them silver salvers bearing multiple phones… ummmm, the answer is ‘yes’! Don’t laugh. It happens.If Ms. Patton failed to turn up the heat,poor Priyanka Chopra, far from being a ‘jungli billee’ plays a severe cop (dressed like a call centre girl). Nothing she could do with stilted dialogues like, “Whaaaat ?” “Dammit!” and “S**t !”What a waste of a sexy gal. And when she does get to wear a hot designer gown and dance, it is an awkward waltz she performs. A waltz? In Berlin? Were they thinking Vienna?? Ms. Patton knocks out silly Anil Kapoor and leaves him to snore after hissing, “Soh Jao.” Good advice for the audience as well!
The Festive Season kicked off with Deepak and Smita Parekh’s smashing traditional X’Mas brunch ( a ‘strawberries and cream’ theme this year).It was the men who stuck to the dress code and turned up clad in pink! As for the turnout, it would be easier to list who wasn’t there sipping champagne and schmoozing with India’s Most Amazing. Going by the buoyant mood, I’d say we can all relax. The Sensex ain’t going anywhere but up from this point on.How do I know? I read Deepak’s lips, and they clearly said, “ No more taxes!” Hahaha !


Sadiya Merchant said...

dint watch mission. dint watch don 2. bhaai wont tell me wat happend in d end n neider wil neone els.
all i hear is dey r both awesome.
buhooo :(((

IceMaiden said...

I always enjoy reading your articles, and usually agree to most of your opinions, but in my humble opinion, the 'dressed like a call centre girl' was a bit off color. Ah well.

Otherwise, Tom Cruise and Shah Rukh Khan are eerily similar - bang on! So agree to that! lol!

Manish Nandal said...

hehe so funny :)

Ambika said...

I wish someone would tell Deepak Parekh to please get the bank he heads as the chairman to spruce up its act.
The ATM machines don't work. The card deliveries are not made in time, the cards don't swipe. Your credit limit is increased without your knowledge...what's the difference between a sarkari, nationalised bank and an MNC one?
Thank God for "no taxes" though

चंद्रमौलेश्वर प्रसाद said...

So the new year resolution reads thus.... MAIN CHUP RAHOONGI .. :)

Divya (Virmani) Chadda said...

My my... I so agree with you. It was a disastrous movie. According to me, Don 2 = Crap 2. All characters were wasted big time. The movie only circled around SRK. And sorry to say, pretty much all the scenes were too predictable. IT was directed by Farhan and I had high expectations from him...

The worst part is they will make DON 3. WTF???
Here's my blog on this disastor: http://divyavirmani.blogspot.com/2011/12/don-2-crap-2.html

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Anonymous said...

Went to watch Don 2 (3D)morning show with Grandson and wife. Disappointed there were only 10 of us for the show. A good past time, and some action for the kids.
At the interval walked into the (2D)version accidentally with popcorn and all, and found around just 50 odd people.
Wonder how they claim to make so much money when the theaters run empty.
All the best for the New Year 2012.


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