Fashion-Vashion....

Blogdosts, if you like the picture here, you must let Nitin Rai, also a Blogdost, know!! He is a superb photographer and I am going to invite him to share more images with us.

In fact, it would be a good way for Blogdosts to showcase and share different talents in this space... poems, short articles, sharp opinions.... and yes... photographs, too!

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This is written for Bombay Times...

Fashion-Vashion

Since Fashion Week fever is in the air, here’s a chhota sa quiz for dedicated fashionistas : How many Fashion Weeks are there in India - 4 or 40? In how many cities and talukas of the country do we celebrate these momentous events - 6 or 600? How many designers participate… take a wild guess, 100, 200, 1,000 ? Do you know the names of at least 5 of them? Are they the same names you have been reading about for the past 20 years? Are you aware of their signature lines – you will be disqualified if you answer – “ forty metres of embellished chiffon.” Do you know your peplum from a saree petticoat? ( Don’t worry if you don’t – most designers are equally clueless). Why is a show stopper called a show stopper ? Does the show really stop with that person? Do real people actually wear any of the clothes that are on the ramp? Have you ever seen someone on the street in fashion show garments? You have? Liar! Why do film stars walk for their designer-friends? Money, is a good answer. But generally it is for the prime coverage of their new movie. Would you buy something worn by an out-of-work tv actress or an ex-Diva? You would? Then you deserve it! Does anybody in India really care about ‘Fall Collections’? Do we even recognize such a season in this part of the World? Fall ? What’s that? Can experts tell the difference between assorted designer collections? Or is that irrelevant? Can designers themselves tell between their own collections? Where are the stated influences from Egypt / Ethiopia / Columbia / Myanmar in those embroidered bridal lehengas? Why not just pay a tribute to the actual inspiration – Karol Bagh? Why don’t we stage a few well timed, high profile wardrobe malfunctions just to jolly things up and relieve the boredom? What about inviting ACP Dhoble to the front row or even as a show stopper? Now, that worthy gentleman would literally stop the show! Talking of the front row cat fights, why not auction front row seats to the highest bidder? Any number of socialites would gladly cough up for this dodgy honour. Are you aware of the number of good causes designers support? Lost kittens. Lost souls. Lost focus?

Fashion Weeks, all 104 of them, are great equalizers. Each one of them throws up new names – mainly from Bollywood. Or at least, names of those who’d like to crash Bollywood - from the ramp to a blockbuster sort of story. As a platform for clothes horses who catwalk through movies, there is no better opportunity. But for the rest of the bewildered, unwashed masses, Fashion Weeks provide good entertainment. This year, we are authoritatively told, thighs are ‘in’. So they must be, going by the looooong slits on skirts that end at the waist. Angelina Jolie of the right leg fame, would approve.Colour blocking has been replaced by monochromes – please feel free to decode arbitrarily. Prints are on their way out – unless Kate Middleton decides otherwise. Pencil skirts still rule – because Victoria Beckham says so. Eco-friendly is good for the soul. But not the ramp. Statement jewellery … like diamante studded cycle tyres worn as neck pieces, is awesome. Aubergine ( purple, yaar!), is the new yellow. Bondage is big. And Fifty Shades of Grey dominate, even if you aren’t heavily into S & M. Confused? Don’t worry. Another Fashion Week beckons… and another. If you missed the one in Mumbai, you can catch all the action in Jamshedpur or Wasseypur. Better still, go to Karol Bagh.