Holi hai.... par kiske liye??

A candid confession: I detest Holi. Always have. Even as a child. Perhaps I didn't have the required joie de vivre to appreciate the festival of colour. But I did enjoy the jalebis and puran polis served on the occasion. Another confession: I have added a dollop of home made ghee to my daily diet. And I'm loving it! Our grand mothers swore by its health boosting qualities. It worked for them. Why should it not work for us equally?? I shall let you know a month from now , and tell you the absolute truth. If I blimp out, I'll stop. If not... the dollop stays.
I needed more than a dollop of pure ghee to deal with a very angry call this morning. The lady announced, " I am dissed. Very, very dissesed. I tried to reach you thrice yesterday... and couldn't." Well.... that can happen. I'm perfectly accessible under normal circumstances. But yesterday was not an ordinary working day. Did I tell you I taped an amazing interview with an amazing woman called Robin Roberts for ABC'S 'Good Morning America?" It is slated as a two hour special on Mumbai, and Robin had packed in so much during those few short hours she was in India - she had played cricket with 'Slumdog.." Tanmay, and sat in an autorickshaw at Sion - no, Salman Khan was not the driver. She was scheduled to meet Ratan Tata later the same evening. And here she was at my home, with a crew of eight very hard working people.The interview crackled and is likely to be telecast either today or tomorrow at 7 a.m. U.S. time. It will also be up on the ABC site soon, so we can all check it out. She was terrific. Those of you who caught her Barack Obama interview must know just how terrific she is. At the risk of sounding immodest, I have to say I was touched and flattered when she reached out , held both my hands and said with tears in her eyes, " I'll never, ever forget you... you are an extraordinary woman. Too honest for politics." We hugged and kissed. Cried and laughed. It was a perfect 'woman-to-woman' moment.
Well..... which is why I couldn't take Thritty Strafford's call. I was in the middle of an interview. After Robin left, some mysterious bug hit me, and I collapsed ! Like, really keeled over, and couldn't get out of bed even after four Crocin's. Which is also why I couldn't take Thritty's other calls. I was knocked out. I wasn't taking ANY calls. Nothing personal. But would the lady listen? She was livid as she talked about the SALAAM BALAAK Trust that she runs, and how difficult it has been for her to rustle up funds to feed all those street kids. And how insensitive I've been to the cause etc. She has a charity movie premiere coming up this week..... and my remark has seriously affected the sales of her tickets. I requested her to re- read my column. That remark was based on a published interview of the main actor from 'Salaam Bombay' who sounded very bitter .Even so, I can understand Strafford's rage. I asked her to calm down and wished her well. This was after she had gone apoplectic about 'rich ladies in their fancy drawing rooms, who are seen at parties featured on Page 3, who won't spend 2000 rupees on a premiere ticket...." She thundered on and on, wondering where she'd find the money from, now that I had written one line about 'Salaam Bombay' and those obviously upset cast members who had featured in it?' Oh dear. She needed to deep breathe. I was genuinely concerned about her health at this point. She challenged me to sell some of those premiere tickets and attend the premiere myself. Phew! Strafford has indeed worked exceedingly hard for the trust, which is looking for 40 lakhs right now, so that those street kids don't starve. Donations welcome. It's been 20 years of dedication. But Shaikh, the actor who was picked for the lead role, is 32- years- old now, in dire straits and stands by his story. Who does one believe? Strafford told me her mother said ," If Shobhaa De has an honest bone in her, she will set the record straight." I have just done that. I hope it makes Strafford (and her mother) feel better. And that Thritty continues the excellent work. As for me, I'm planning to crawl back into bed and not take calls. But then , I doubt Strafford will be calling again anytime soon. And fortunately for me, most other callers are more understanding.

Feminism's Last Sigh...?

Women’s Day . this has appeared in TIMES LIFE on 8th March, Sunday.

Feminism's Last Sigh....??
There are days when I say to myself, “ Wow!! Being a woman is the best thing that has happened to me.” Such days used to be frequent. Say, in a calendar year, these words would have echoed my sentiments at least 200 out of the 365 days. Not anymore. They average 100 at best. And even then, I catch myself asking, “Just who am I kidding?” Sad. If I can say or feel or think such a thought, imagine how utterly awful life must be for the vast majority of women in our country. Those anonymous, nameless, faceless, futureless females who wake up each day of their wretched lives cursing the Gods that brought them into this world as women. Isn’t it shameful that this is so? I look around me at so-called elite, educated, empowered ladies and wonder just how ‘empowered’ they really are behind the sham of being power ladies and women who ‘have it all’. The sad truth is women are the world’s most marginalized minority. And unlike other minorities, there is nobody to represent this target group - where it counts and when it counts. We continue to get beaten, raped, sold, murdered, traded,burnt, stoned, maimed, humiliated and exploited on each and every level, each and every day. Our crime? Gender.
Which is why I can’t write a jaunty, cheerful piece about how wonderful it feels to be a woman and how we should all be celebrating this great day, reserved especially for us. I’d be lying – once again – to myself, if I did that. Perhaps I’ve picked the wrong day to pen this. Perhaps I should have waited for the present mood to pass. That is what I’ve taught myself to do. That is what most women do. They wait. We have been waiting since the beginning of time. And where has it got us?What has changed?Please don’t flaunt the usual suspects and say, “Oh…. but look at Hillary Clinton, Sonia Gandhi, Oprah Winfrey…. such accomplished, successful ladies, who have achieved so much – much more than most men.” Sure, go ahead and look at them. Do you see yourself? No? Surprised that you don’t? Or worse, resigned? That’s just the point. For every Hillary\Sonia\Oprah, there are millions – yes, millions – of women who live and die in grief. Daily grief which falls on them like steady rain that never lets the sun shine through those brooding dark clouds.Besides, who can look into the hearts and souls of our female icons to find out just how happy they are? We love to hang on to the many myths surrounding highly successful ladies – that they have mastered the life-balance ratio, that they are the way they are because they’ve challenged the status quo, rewritten rules, broken barriers, shattered glass ceilings. If so, good for them. But how does that help the rest of us? The ones who continue to struggle each and everyday just to stay alive… breathe…. eat… without getting crushed…. verbally, emotionally, physically, financially?
Sorry if this is reading like an epitaph for the Feminist movement that my generation had invested so heavily in. Most of the movement’s leaders are dead or in retirement. The few still left, appear weary and morose. They tried. They really tried. But their efforts weren’t good enough. It isn’t about legislation. It isn’t about money. And it certainly isn’t about sex. True and lasting liberation is about the evolution of the species. So long as inequality rules, there is no hope for real freedom. Female emancipation in such a scenario is doomed to remain where it has been stuck for centuries. Man is not known to willingly give up a single inch of territory. He can’t. He won’t. So… where does that leave us? Aha – now here’s where we can and should score. We have spent enough time on our brains. It’s the womb’s turn now. The womb is a women’s most lethal weapon. It creates life. Till such time as a substitute can be found for it, women are comparatively secure. Remember : Wombs are our monopoly. Exploit the situation. Play to win. Your time starts NOW!

**************************************************************************************

HAVE HAD A HUGE AMOUNT OF RESPONSE TO THIS COLUMN. Makes me think I'VE TOUCHED A SECRET CHORD SOMEWHERE. AM I RIGHT?

To add to the angst, I watched two disturbing movies back to back. Both featured the invincible Kate Winslet - this decade's Meryl Streep. What courageous performances, particularly the one in 'The Reader'. Dus janam main Bollywood will not be able to get there, either in terms of content, treatment or performance. Even though her role in The Reader was far more nuanced, I thought she was equally brilliant in 'Revolutionary Road'. Di Caprio was no match, even though he valiantly tried to keep up.

*******************************************************************************

The only uplifting moment that saved the weekend from being a total washout was the inspiring fashion show staged by the very special students of the SPJ Sadhana School for mentally challenged children and young adults that I attended. Put together most ably by Hemant Trivedi and his design team, 'Because.... I am,' brought tears to my eyes each time those wonderful people walked the ramp to thunderous applause. The sad thing is, even after 35 years of dedicated and difficult work, the school is short of funds, and this year, even the event sponsor backed out at the last minute. But the show went on - and what a show! It would be great if all of us supported the efforts of the team that works tirelessly to assure dignity to the lives of the less fortunate. You can email : spjsadhana@gmail.com for more info. All donations are exempt under u\s 80 G. Come on Blogdosts. Go for it.

Marathon matters...

The BMC has suddenly woken up to the fact that the Mumbai Marathon is a commercial event. Come on, guys. What did you think? That the Standard Chartered Bank was deeply, truly, and genuinely concerned about Mumbai's hamstrings? Marathons all over the world attract fat cat sponsors since they receive so much publicity. Simple. The organisers who rope in the sponsors get a juicy fee, perhaps a generous cut of the action, and the host city gets a dollop of prestige , lots of publicity....provided it looks good on camera. As Mumbai undoubtedly does. Then there is the question of prize money - all those inexhaustible Ethiopian runners who invariably walk away with an attractive purse. Of course, the Marathon is about money. And it ought to be treated as yet another commercial, revenue generating event. The BMC is demanding a hefty fee from the organisers, for getting the roads ready for the Marathon, and also claiming expenses to the tune of several crores. Why not?? Entirely legitimate and justified. There's no such thing as a free lunch ... or a free Marathon.
**************************************************************************************
Isn't it shameful that it needed a sensitive Englishman to draw the government's attention to the most horrific aspect of 'Slumdog...' which involves Mumbai's notorious beggar syndicate and the maiming of street children . The British gentleman must be congratulated for raising the issue and demanding answers from the authorities. But what about us? We see these kids day in and day out at traffic lights, we barely notice their amputated limbs or gouged out eyes. In fact, we barely notice them! These are invisible children, known by their voices and the 'annoying' thumping on car windows. Who 'owns' these bachchas?? Do you really want to know??
***********************************************************************************
I find it an absolute abomination that the IPL matches are still going to happen, come hell, elections, bomb blasts or high water. The elections are finally upon us. India is gearing up for the polls. But all that those Cricket satraps are interested in is going ahead with the matches, since so much money is riding on the fixtures. It is shameless and insensitive to be this brazen about safeguarding ones commercial interests, given what happened to the Sri Lankan cricketers in Lahore. I cannot imagine the mind -set of players considering the high risks involved - how the hell can any sporstman perform knowing there could be a bomb ticking away in the dressing room\ team bus\hotel. Or that a suicide squad may crash into the venue and blow up everybody . Will spectators turn up?Are we seriously that mad? Cricket mad?
**************************************************************************************
Guys, I have been missing the caustic comments of ' Another Kiran'. Where are you, lady? And yes, the Karan Thapar interview happened. In case any one of you is interested, it will be telecast on Monday at 10 30 pm on CNBC.

Sach suno....

This appeared in Bombay Times today. Meanwhile, Aham is getting a fantastic response . So am I. Two German journos who were here for an interview last afternoon are keen to cover Aham's Gateway of India peaceful protest on sunday after I spoke to them at length as to what our objectives were.

I'm doing an interview for Karan Thapar ( yes, again!), tomorrow afternoon, along with Girija Vyas, who heads the National Commission for Women, on an even more terrifying subject - according to a recent study conducted by the British medical journal The Lancet, 10 women in India are burnt every hour on average, most of these deaths are tied to domestic abuse.

Wake up, women. You too, men.

On a lighter, brighter note, I watched Pink Panther -2 last night and fell off my chair laughing. Our Ash has a decent enough role in the movie and has done a decent enough job, given that it is a crazy, illogical, silly spoof. I only wish they'd hired a better make up artist for her ( who's the villain?), a better lighting director ( no amount of concealor can take care of those dark rings under the eyes, but great lighting helps reduce them on camera)), and of course, a better stylist ( frumpy, unflattering suits? For Ash??? What were they thinking?). Anyway, from all her recent interviews it does appear that Bahurani has thrown in the towel as far as Hollywood is concerned. Ab Freida ka waqt aa gayaa hai, doston. Mind it.

Slumkids from Kadka-nagar

They still live in Garib Nagar. That pretty much says it all. Garib Nagar is such a cruel, direct and obvious name for a shanty town. A wretched slum. The one that has produced those incredibly talented kids the world is going gaga over. Yes, I know Boyle and the producer of the multi –million- dollar –and- still- raking- it- in global hit, are sincere about plans to educate these kids and provide for them. May Boyle’s efforts yield better results than Mira Nayar’s a few years ago. Her actors were also promised many wonderful things following the success of ‘Salaam Bombay’. But just last week, the main guy, who is now 32, gave a scathing interview to a tabloid in which he claimed he was thrown right back into the gutter from which he’d been fished out by Mira to star in her film. He’s a lowly auto rick driver now, and pretty bitter about the experience.Whatever happened to the trust that had been set up amidst much fanfare at the time? I remember the premiere at Eros cinema clearly, when these street kids had arrived at the venue in brightly decorated ghoda gaadis, wearing Salaam Bombay t-shirts, and been greeted by cheering fans as they danced to the soundtrack with gay abandon. During the intermission, Mira had got them up on stage with her and danced along as cameras rolled. Everybody agreed it was a fantastic moment and how happy those kids looked. Then what happened ? Sab log unhe bhool gayey. Well… Mira went back. She went on to other films, other concerns. Everybody else lost interest. And that was that.
How different is it likely to be this time? Let’s wait and watch. There are other questions to consider – for example, one argument goes that Boyle’s producers have paid the kids whatever amount was agreed upon. According to them that amount is very generous and much more than the kids would earn otherwise. They’ve been quoted as saying it is three times the money an adult from that background would make in a year. I’m sure they are right. That takes care of the legalese. But now comes the trickier question of dealing with a moral obligation. Should Boyle be stuck with these bachchas for the rest of his life? After all, they have been paid for their work. Right now, with emotions running high, Boyle has gone out of his way to ensure the kids get a fair deal. His plan on paper looks very sound and well thought through. Setting up a trust with clauses that safeguard the kids’ interests and pays for their education is noble of Danny indeed. Is that enough? Will it work? Why be cynical. Perhaps it will, if the kids want it to, and if their minders don’t turn greedy\exploitative and plain cussed. We saw how Rubaina’s biological mother nearly clawed her way to grab the daughter she had turned her back on. We watched in horror as the family fought over this tiny child, suffering from jet lag and a major culture shock. We saw Azharuddin cowering in a corner of his hut after being slapped by his father for not obliging presswallas. Was anybody really thinking of the bachchas? These are highly vulnerable tots who have been through an extraordinary , life- transforming experience. But the fairy tale is now over. What’s next?
I find it somewhat grotesque that the state government has promptly jumped on to the band wagon and offered flats to two of the kids. What for? “ For bringing glory to India,” said a minister. Such irony! What of the other kids? What of millions of homeless kids like them which Mumbai is full of? A case of misplaced charity. These two are super privileged kids in comparison to countless others. In fact their transformed lives can lead to a Slumdog -2 script. Child psychologists may have an interesting perspective on what this incredible experience has done to the psyche of these young actors. It goes beyond a fantasy. From the sewers of Mumbai to the swishiest boulevards of Hollywood , and on to the most glam awards ceremony in the world! Wow! Imagine the dizzying pace of LA - being greeted, feted and hugged by some of the most famous people on earth, visiting Disneyland and dancing on stage for a global audience, this has surely been one hell of a trip. Uske baad? Back to the squalor they’ve been born into? How disorienting and depressing is that? Can they ever reconnect to that sordid life without something snapping inside their heads? Never! These children have changed, perhaps forever. What they need is counseling. Once reality kicks in, they are going to ask questions and demand answers. That could lead to frustration, depression … even something far more drastic like a major mental breakdown. Boyle won’t be around to handle such a crisis.So, before we go any further with our OTT conduct, it’s time to evaluate a few things soberly. We are dealing with tender lives, not commodities. Boyle has done his bit. It’s time for us to do ours.

Survival skills in one easy read...

Strange. I was going through a slim volume titled Disaster Survival Skills compiled by an ex-Army man, Captain Vinod Nair, when I received a text message about the attack on the Sri Lankan cricketers in Lahore. I rushed to catch the breaking news on tv, and was sickened by what I saw. Apart from the injured cricketers, five cops have lost their lives battling those heavily armed beasts who opened fire on the innocents. Why? Perhaps the' why' is irrelevant. It is open season all over the world, and we are all sitting ducks. With the IPL matches round the corner, my fear is that a similar attack could take place in any one of the crowded stadia, leading to several more casualties, and this time their targets will include the superstars of the game. But who are 'they'? Another pointless question. Shadowy demons with hearts of stone.
I re- read the manual sent by Nair, and said to myself, a book like this has become required reading in these violent times. It provides practical and easy to implement tips on how to handle most 21st century emergencies - hi jacking, hostage situations, car bombings, grenade attacks etc.Scarey!! Nobody prepares you to deal with such scenarios. But like they say, 'A person does not build character during a crisis, he\she reveals it." I reccomend this book and you can access more info via the website www.kimmaya.com. Captain Nair in his covering letter mentions that he runs a consultancy and training service . I don't know the guy, and am not vouching for any of this. Just that I found the tips offered very easy to take forward. God knows we require road maps to negotiate all the land mines strewn across our paths these days. I wish the Sri Lankan boys a speedy recovery, and offer sincere condolences to the families of those slain cops.
***********************************************************************************
Aham is all set to take his protest national on Sunday at 5pm. More power to him and all the supporters who have written, called, mailed. I was rather disappointed to receive an interview request from a newspaper in Bangalore which asked why we were bothering to protest against incidents that were taking place in another city, and whether the protest would give Bangalore\Mangalore a bad name!! Is it about geography... or humanity??

Seeti Bajaao...!

How does one shame the shameless? I have just written a column for International Women's Day , and that's basically what I am asking myself and others? I shall post it in this space next week, but it is important to address this key question as a run up to the 'GREAT EVENT' which has been reduced to a pathetic, commercial joke, with several opportunists jumping in to take advantage of the female consumer. I saw several saree stores offering special prices to mark the occasion. And I was appalled when an event company asked me whether I'd be free to participate in a televised panel discussion on domestic violence, sponsored by a leading jewellery brand! The fat man who drives this brand is a cunning fox who misses no opportunity to milk any and every chance to 'upgrade' his image. What better way than to associate himself with a bleeding hearts issue that will make him feel good about himself?? Jewellery and domestic violence?? Isn't that obscene? Everyone will hope to make money out of this programme - the event management company, the channel and of course, the fat man himself. Prominent ladies will also fall over backwards to show how socially committed they are ( besides - doesn't it feel great to be on tv?). Another media savvy jewellery designer has managed to rope in the usual suspects to walk the ramp for her ( I am sick of these meaningless shows, and do I really want to see a bunch of ghastly , over made up socialites preening on the ramp , pretending they are doing this for 'charity'?) Such bakwas! If these ladies would 'sacrifice' just one pampering massage (upwards of 3000 bucks) and donate the amount to paying the annual school fees of a slum kid, that would be more laudable. I always suspect the motives of these do gooders , who are out to garner publicity through their supposedly 'charitable' endeavours. Nobody bothers to examine their accounts or demand transparency from them . Who knows where that money goes?? Though I can offer a few guesses. Weekend Bazaars etc are a part of the same racket. Affluent ladies of leisure get their darzis to make two dozen kurtis, mark them up ridiculously, sell them to friends, recover their costs, keep a hefty profit, and donate a pittance to charity. The media dutifully covers these events and talks about the 'cause' and how wonderful it is of these women to participate etc etc. The 'cause' is them!
Glad to note 'Aham' is going full steam ahead with the S.I.T.A Sena. The 'Seeti Bajaao.... Khud ko Bachchaao' slogan I've suggested to him, is being worked on as well.
Oh.... what did I think of our local Red Carpet looks on Saturday? The only people who got it right were Shah Rukh Khan and Gauri.

Whistle!!

Aham and other S.I.T.A sainiks. I thought of a simple yet effective way of attracting attention when faced with a potential assault. How about a really loud whistle - the kind one hears during football matches? For one, it would startle the goons with its ear splitting intensity, for another, it might attract others. It is a safe and legal way to register a protest. The whistle is also a great symbol, since most times women are at the receiving end of cat calls and seetis. I also thought of a dog whistle, which would get all the canines in the neighbourhood barking. It is easier to 'blow the whistle' on goondas than start looking for mace sprays, pepper or chilly powder tucked inside ones handbag. Ladies planning a night on the town could wear their whistles around the neck or wrist and make it a fashion statement too. By the time one phones a dedicated helpline it is already too late. Though a helpline is a must. Community Sainiks are needed to implement any plans. But the whistle could be a start. What do you think??