I'm no prude.... but

This is the column that was published by The Week. I don't need to elaborate. It pretty much says it all. It's going to be a busy tuesday. I have a lady called Anne Cunnigham , a radio producer with the BBC, coming in at 5pm to set up an interview with Nikki Bedi (Kabir Bedi's ex). I have been on Nikki's shows before and enjoyed her sparkling style. I am sure we'll make a terrific show together!! Those of you who want to catch Editor's Verdict will be able to do so by logging on to the ndtv site. I am not sure whether or not I'll be on tonight. But the show is worth a dekho regardless.

************************************************************************************************************* Unbutton your passion

I am guessing Akshay Kumar was following a brief – for a big, fat fee, of course. I am guessing he was wearing his briefs when he followed the brief. I have stared and stared… but haven’t been able to tell . Like me, thousands of curious viewers must have scrutinised the actor’s crotch closely to figure out what lies beneath… if anything. It brought back memories of an ancient Calvin Klein ad for jeans . Yes, the same one that featured a bare torsoed Brooke Shields declaring wickedly, “ Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.” Now, with Akshay’s Fashion Week act being hauled over the coals in court, let us just say the man has more brawn than brain, or else he would have figured out the consequences of getting his poor wife to unbutton him in public. We live in strange times. Women in Bangalore are assaulted for displaying their bare arms and wearing jeans. Imagine then, a popular hunky actor thrusting his pelvis into his wife’s face and requesting the blushing lady to do what she may or may not do even in the privacy of their own bedroom. This is where discretion and good sense often fail our organizers. Clearly, it was a planned part of Akshay’s ramp strut for Levi’s Jeans – he is the brand ambassador of the product. I know the entire campaign is based on the ‘unbuttoning’ story. Great. So far, so cool. But to perform this cheesy number on the catwalk was definitely pushing it. I am no prude. I am all for freedom of expression etc . etc. But this is plain silly. And all the people involved , ought to have known better than to go along with the script, knowing the media would gobble up the tantalizing visual, and replay it a million times over.Which is exactly what happened.
Now what? Akshay’s wife has made her court appearance. Paid a fine. She has been subjected to all kinds of jibes and embarrassed by the excessive publicity. The clip is still being run across channels. Just the repeat value itself has rendered it pornographic. Viewed in isolation, it may appear innocuous and in- offensive – big deal, we endure much more garbage on various channels that specialize in such exposes. But what has actually triggered such a strong reaction against Akshay’s naughty behaviour is the fear that young people across campuses will mimic the movie star and ask girlfriends to unbutton them in the canteen. Hey Bhagwan!! How many kids will Muthalik’s men beat up if that really happens??Movie stars have it good ninety per cent of the time. But when they get it bad, it’s really terrible. I am sure Akshay thinks he did absolutely nothing objectionable – and he may be justified in believing that. The argument being – it’s a part of the entire ad strategy. Nobody objected to the print ads which were equally risqué and suggestive. So why the fuss over a small gimmick during fashion week? Besides, the lady who obliged happens to be his legally wedded wife, not some random chick in the front row. That is correct. Unfortunately, these sort of gimmicks have a nasty way of back firing sometimes. Perhaps this little disaster will soon be forgotten.But I doubt it. There was something lewd and disturbing about the entire episode. It appeared manipulative and exceedingly calculated. The minute I saw the clip, I said to myself, “ Oh no…. this guy has had it.” It was not a wardrobe malfunction, but something worse – it was a deliberately sexualized performance designed to generate shock. Well , the shock waves continue to reveberate throughout India as the Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi figures out how to wiggle out of this sticky situation. A real stud does not have to stoop to such cheap tricks. And a real gentleman never exploits his wife’s goodness by subjecting her to public humiliation. Par kaun sikhayega? Our movie stars love to learn their lessons the hard way. Akshay’s Free Willy stunt may turn out to be his most expensive one to date.Go pay for it,buddy.