Why this,why this... Fast-u, Kolaveri Di...

This appeared in the Asian Age....

Why this, why this … Fast-u, Kolaveri Di


As this dramatic year rolls to an end, I’m asking myself a searching question:To fast, or not to fast. My body says it’s a great idea and long overdue. My clothes are saying the same thing.Especially the skinny jeans. I find it extremely difficult to fast, which is one of the reasons I avoid any blood test that requires me to starve for twelve hours before the needle prick. But ‘The Fast’ phenomenon has really taken off and 2011 will be remembered as the Year of the Fast. At least, in India. Women in our society have always used fasting as an effective form of protest.Particularly women who live in joint families. Going without food is the ultimate form of sulking. For one, it is designed to make the mother-in-law look really, really bad. And two, it is a pretty smart way of grabbing the husband’s attention.Food makes for a really lethal weapon if used well against an adversary. But there is also something known as overdoing a good thing. Just as a magician loses an audience if he repeats the same trick over and over again, a person who resorts to frequent fasts in order to make a point, risks losing his or her credibility/ constituency. Anna is just this side of the divide right now. He could have achieved the same objective ( pushing his Jan Lokpal version through ) without the fast. People are now beginning to groan and say, “Oh no! Not another fast, Anna. Get over it!” Anna’s well-wishers have warned everybody about the downside to Anna going on a fast at his age. If fasting is indeed hazardous to Anna’s health, why do it? This fast business has gone well beyond symbolism or even tokenism. Anna’s latest fast ki dhamki ( starting in Mumbai on the 27th) threatens to become a parody of itself.The first time he did it, people wanted to know how long he’d be able to go without food before collapsing. It became a bit of a voyeuristic exercise. A little like going to a circus and watching a tight rope walker, half-expecting the person to fall, and feeling a little disappointed when that doesn’t happen. A well meaning advisor should inform Anna that today, the story is different and people are beginning to snigger. The average citizen admires Anna – no two ways about it. But even his most ardent admirers are questioning the wisdom behind undertaking one more fast. When that stage is reached, a protest becomes counter productive and loses its original appeal. Imagine an item girl with a huge recent hit deciding to go for the kill with another hot number. There can be no repeats of Munni or Sheila . Impact ka sawaal hai, bhai. Basic marketing gyan. Anna’s fasts are rapidly losing their novelty value. His minders must come up with a fresh idea.The fast has had its day …
Since TIME magazine has shrewdly skipped picking a known individual as the ‘Person of the Year’ and decided to give that honour to an anonymous protester ( someone who resembles a woman… is sufficiently androgynous, and therefore, guaranteed to bag a few extra brownie points), several Anna supporters have been devastated. It was being floated in the media that Anna would make it to the much awaited TIME cover as ‘Man of the Year’. Now we discover poor Anna didn’t make it even to the short list, which featured Kate Middleton, if you please!But the Chinese must be rejoicing over the exclusion of dissident artist Ai Weiwei, who came in at number 3. Had Anna made it to the cover, it would have served as a gigantic boost to his cause. As of now, Anna himself sounds a little disoriented as he issues all kinds of statements, taking on the holiest of the holy cows in India ( read: Sonia). Anna’s critics insist he is being spoon-fed by his team.There is also widespread belief that the tempo will be stepped up closer to the date ( 27th December), and Anna will boldly venture into territories others justifiably fear. The thinking behind this is pretty obvious. Anna’s public support makes him an untouchable. Nobody will dare move against Anna. He will remain above and beyond arrest, no matter what he says in front of television cameras. With Anna enjoying such a privileged status, it is inevitable that he will be urged to articulate a few home truths that can badly hurt those in high places (the highest!). At the moment, Anna enjoys total immunity and taking a panga with him is considered bad news.
The year ender from TIME, is an eagerly awaited global event. There have been several ‘misses’ in the recent past, including the issue with Barack Obama as ‘The Person of the Year’ (2008) . Had he been given the honour this year after finishing off Osama Bin Laden ( though Admiral William McRaven, head of US Special Operations Command and overall commander of the secret al Qaeda mission into Pakistan, did come in at the number 2 position in the nominations), nobody would have raised objections. But… imaginatively and rightfully, it was The Protester who won hands down. Anna’s fans need not despair. Anna is going to win practically every version of the Indian of the Year award. Anna is the face of protest for over a billion people. Even if Anna does not fully succeed in starting an unstoppable war against corruption and the corrupt, he will have reserved his place in history. But beyond that, he would also have won the gratitude of a nation fatigued and frustrated by the cancer of corruption that has corroded India. Has the tipping point been reached? We’ll know on the 27th. Till then, let us chorus, ‘Why this… why this… fast-u, kolaveri di?”