Thursday, April 2, 2009

Kebabs a la Maanyata....

Let me get the shoulder thingie out of the way ..... it's behaving itself. For now. I'm ignoring it and have altered my laptop posture. That helps. I know it ain't a cure. But the cure can wait. In order to forcibly rest the damn socket, I ran away to Alibag in search of some heavy duty R&R. But guess what? My happiness was ruined on the ferry itself when an out of control man went ballistic because the ticket checker had not shown him sufficient respect!! Such a person had to be a politician, right?? Well... that's exactly who he was. Some petty neta. A local Congressman with a pack of goons, who were egging him on. I asked his name and was told it was Sandesh or Satish Patil. He was threatening the poor twig-like, cowering man... demanding an apology.... or else. I HAD to intervene. My polite, chi chi ferry 'friends' ( very Ferragamo),told me not to get into it. By then Patil was bellowing and boasting he would shut down the boat service by saturday ( I'll be watching!). I told the South Mumbai co-passengers that it is because people like us keep quiet that these monsters get born and grow bigger till they end up as those 'Bhais' we loathe but can't do anything about. We deserve them.The friends looked away and changed the subject. They also changed their seats!
When I switched on the news channel once I reached home, I caught Barkha Dutt in full flow with Sanjay Dutt and his newest bff\ mentor, sorry, 'brother' Amar Singh. Was Barkha really wearing blue contact lenses to match her blue enamel pendant... or was it an optical illusion?? The conversation was bizarre, to say the least. But the winning quote came from Sanjay when he said his wife will stay home where she belongs and make kebabs and biryani for him and his friends.... "Who will campaign for her in that case?" asked Barkha ( this , after a great deal of waffling and evasiveness about whether or not Maanyata will be given the ticket Sanjay didn't get) . " I will," said the Duh Dutt, giving the game away through that one untutored remark!!
I hastily put on an Elvis Presley DVD featuring the King in gospel mode. To say that I adore Elvis would be a gross understatement. I worship him. He is the ONLY human being I 've ever had a gigantic crush on. Seeing him again, crooning with church choirs, I had tears of joy rolling down my cheeks.... and mingling with the Moet. Only a locally caught crab, cooked Malwani style could take away my earlier blues....and did. Thank God the cook hadn't produced kebabs and biryani. I would have puked!
Well, tonight I have invited Meera Sanyal to dinner, along with a few friends. I am very keen to meet the lady who threw up a bank job ( she was heading ABN AMRO), to contest the elections. I heard she had given Karan Thapar a run for his money and handled his provocative questions ( socialism-capitalism debate) very effectively. Her former bank colleagues speak highly of her, though even there I see annoying sexism. One of them commented, " You know how Goras react to women in sarees?? It is the whole exotic package. Sarees certainly worked in Meera's favour." That's what I call taking a cheap shot at a woman's success. Watch this space for the asli assessment.... definitely no kebabs on the menu tonite.... a few haddis, maybe.


Arjun said...

You are back to blogging again, awesome.

Serendipity said...

Goodie! take care.
Im glad u stood up to him. Your right about what u said though, WE empower them with our cowardice.

More power to you!

Await your asesment on Ms. Meera. Me thinks shell get 5 thousand odd votes, but wont be able to oust the muscle power of the other netas who're busy cramming my mobile inbox with msgs and littering our streets with posters (I got a hand delivered Milind Deora handout).

The best ws a msg which spoke on first person as if Mr. L.K Advani has writen it himself. LOL!

Arjun said...

your posts are like the daily vada pav with red chilli powder that i just gotta have.....

Serendipity said...

oh, and the goodie was for the bit abut your shoulder feeling better. :)

URVI said...

yeah i agree...its the ignorance on the part of good people...that we have all these goons ruling the roost in politics

athi said...

'His wife will stay home where she belongs?'

Why are some men born so dumb and how come they even have wives!

sathish vasudevan said...

What yu going to cook for meer sanyal.. have a meaningful dinner

Gulshan said...

Hey ,

I have just started reading ur blog and LOVE IT!!! I live in London and would host a meal for you when you come (honest food no flirting). I want you to try a good chair and an orthopaedic belt (its like a sports bra) which keeps ur back In worked well for my mom and chair has helped me a lot… Lastly Sanjay dutt who wants to join Amar singh who is close Friend of Mr. Bachchan who has 2 VERY strong women in the family not making biryani or for that matter anything… May be Sanju baba shud hire a cook and let Manyata have some fun in the campaign after all she is better then Rabri devi.. may be thats why circuit was man and not a woman in munnabhai franchise uh uh

Living here in UK I feel sad ..i want to get nostalgic abt ‘Mera bharat mahaann’ but I can’t…

Enjoy reading ur blog keep it up

Cheers Gulshan

Sidhusaaheb said...

If Sanjay Dutt's wife were to stay at home and make biryaani and kabaabs, while he handles the politics on her behalf, there would be a precedent in the form of a certain chief minister of Bihar whose husband handled all affairs of the state during her tenure.

In any case, if Mrs. Dutt has a problem with that I'm sure she'll know the best course of action for her. She surely doesn't appear to be the stay-at-home type or one who'll be controlled by another.

If Sanjay Dutt's sisters are to be believed, she is the unseen force behind her husband's political debut and the one who is pulling all the strings, instead of the other way round.

As compared to Sanjay Dutt's domestic affairs or politics, it is events like that really get my goat!

Gulshan said...

Hey another thing for ur back..get ur pillow sorted (if u use it) and try checking ur mattress too i.e when u changed it last.. thrs memory foam stuff which helps too :)


Theyoginme said...

Why do these big shots give these poor workers who just try to do their job?

I recall one time at Udaipur airport Rishi Kapoor, the famous actor yelled at the security people because his "coach" bag didn't tag along with his 3 cell phones through the X ray. It came after 2 other passengers including mine. I didn't even notice or recognize the little lumpy ball of fire until I heard him. I still had the Bobby image in my head!

Do you have any spicy stories on the royal kapoors?

Vikas Chandra said...

aah my gawd..awsome..neta-bashing.
wish elvis presley was alive and wud have read your blog.. I dont guarantee love but blog-dosti was for sure!!

Shubhajit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sameer said...

I agree completely that our 'chup raho' attitude gives ways to these gulley gundas who becomes 'Bhais'afterwards. I am NRI and when I think about moving back to India for good, incidences exactly like you mentioned make me think twice. I mean, no one has any faith in the legal system, police (who are supposed to protect us) and so no one dares to challenge such gundas.

the comments sanju made about wife's role - I am not surprised. I have couple of male friends here in US (who have MS and MBA degrees from well respected universities), but when it comes to role of wife they stick to the traditionalist viewpoint and see their better half as good in kitchen only. They don't even like when the wife challenges them on intellectual basis. I do think Indian men have to grow up by leaps and bounds when it comes to treating women equally in real sense.

*Aham* said...

This neta needs to be brought to book. So happy that you "dared" to mention his name.

i googled Satish patil... He has made his debut as minister of state, and he is from the NCP.


WOW what a jugalbandi of the dutts it was on NDTV... Barkha aur Sanjay. We just had one joke called govinda. Now that he has gone, we have Sanjay.

How can someone say that he wants his wife to make Kebabs whilst he is out campaigning for her? Dummy politics... That was a honest confession from a True MCP and we should respect him for that.

I also loved to read that look on barkha's face that was like "wtf what am i doing here"

Meera Sanyal. Smart Cookie... Shaanti ki Devi.. Just i feel that "Janta Ki Awaaaz" waala anmd that "Drama Queenness" in her.. That is actually needed in politics no...

Anon said...

Shobhaa so so glad you're staying in the blogosphere. I really would type for you its cool for me!
Why does Sanjay Dutt feel the need to prove he's the boss with such absurd remarks? Is it a carefully preserved facade to prove he's the boss when he's not? Who's the boss? Mrs Dutt? Not so sure of that!
You know its so sad the smalltime wannabes make such bufoons of themselves trying to prove they're somebody. You'll never catch the people who actually matter doing anything remotely so stupid. Glad you intervened you're pretty much one of the few with the guts to stand up against such rot. Kudos I think I would have wanted to jump in for sure.
Please let us know your opinion of Meera Sanyal sounds like she could do something worthwhile but will reserve an opinion till we get yours.

Thanks for staying in the blogosphere to make all of us really happy. Please do take care of that shoulder. Try the Dragon speech recognition software it worked reasonably well for my Dad & he sure doesn't have an American accent.

Bidisha said...

Love your Blog. Read something which I thought you might find interesting:

Roshni said...

Shobhaa jee ,u r just awesome and simply amazing.keep blogging so that people like us get to share some wisdom and knowledge from you.I totally agree with Sameer ,Indian men have to grow by leaps and bounds to keep pace with the world outside.Sanjay dutt's comments about his wife is not at all a surprise!In fact I was happy when heard of the news that he can't contest for the polls.We want leaders not MCP's (remember he made the same comment about his sister Priya Dutt)

cooldeep said...

Interesting...Just attended a lunchon with Nandan Nilkani in silicn valley and he highly praised Meera Sanyal...Somebody in audience asked a valid Q ..why they are contesting as an independeent...they will just eat up the votes..
Why not entrepreneurs come together and start a new party to support these people...

kala said...

Thanks for coming back. Nice blog as usual with interesting titbits.

NAT said...


Guess we have plenty in common, especially fighting for justice, and THE KING OF ROCK.
Have visited his Pad in Memphis on a couple of occasions and have plenty of Souveniers, DVD's/CDs and even the old EPs, LPs and tons of photographs.
Tell me one thing. Did you or any of your friends/relatives get booked for Jiving near Strand Cinema in the 50's after the movie, ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK. Yes I know it was Bill Hayley and his Commets and not Elvis (The King was just getting noticed.
Sure you will remeber that incident, even then we had characters trying to styfil change.
Uncle Sam had similar issues, as The King was shown on TV only from above the beltdue to his pelvic thrusts, which scandalized the hypocrites.
When I read of guys/gals here stating that we copy the west, I feel like laughing, as at one time the great US of A was a copy of what we are going through.
Yes even students who wore a Pressley puff were sent home from school and ......


Sidhusaaheb said...

More on criminal-politicians who have been barred from contesting the general elections by the courts and who might put up their wives as 'proxy candidates' at .

Compared to them, incidentally, Sanjay Dutt appears to be a saint.

It's such a pity that the electronic news-media are not paying as much attention to them as they are to Sanjay Dutt.

Another Kiran In NYC said...

Sanjay Dutt was dropped on his head as baby. There is no other explaination for his imbecilic behaviour. Thats exactly what it is. He is a half wit thug who always had an enabling family. He will remain one.

Goras reaction to women in saris ... as what? Awe that they can actually speak or does it eroticise them? That is a sterotypical perception by us at best. People, goras or others who are the real movers and shakers and who make a difference in the lives of professional women in saris dont think like that. It is about the bottom line for the most part. In anycase, even it were the case, if these women dont take advantage of that or any little foothold, they are not very bright obviously and probably dont deserve the opportunities in anycase.

Sorry, but I think we are too prickly about things that dont matter in the final analysis.

I am thrilled that you publically chewed out the politician goonda. Disgusting man! Obviously we will not outgrow the whole feudal thing for a few centuries more. But atleast now we have the media to publicise this bad behaviour. So thank god for modern times.

Shachi said...

Hi Shobhaa,

Love your blog :)

And I love that you post your columns here....I would have no way to read them otherwise (I live in the US and don't follow them much)....

I hope your shoulder gets better soon :)

I admire that you voiced your opinion on the boat-situation and completely agree with your point in this post!


introspection said...

Hi Shobhaa,

I kinda guessed that you will be right back here after you have lapped up enough publicity and admiration for yourself (at blogging, that is) - 50 comments on how people are 'lending' at you about your blogging popularity must have done you a great deal of good. This way you have everything in common with Bollywood people.

anyways, me and the blog world is happy your shoulder is healed for now atleast, lets get back to real issues...!

Sanju baba stinks of the desi men(tality) Indian women (in India/abroad) have to deal with at home and in public lives. Unfortunately the younger generation's fight against this aspect of conservationism, is far from smart. They have only taken to boozing, and doing all the wrong things in defiance of it all, instaed of keeping the "family strength" intact and then going after these pseudo macho men who are spoilt by their mothers right from when they are/were in the wombs itself.
Sanju is the perfect example of all this. Manyatta is probably playing along to get mileage out of this marriage. If she finds the scales tilting too much towards 'kebaab & biryani' without getting elected to popularity, she'll just dump him (deservedly) I have no doubts about it. No love can be that blind.

You are a great whistle blower, I have to grant you that. The best thing on your blog today is your encounter with the Neta (or whatever - NCP or MCP) though it ruined your Alibag travel. This country is littered with goongs like that. You find more and more mushrooming these days, with the power game going on at the government level. Each of them thinks he is THE heavyweight who can disbalance the center politics. They have no feelings, I repeat NO FEELINGS for the country whatsoever. They are out to make quick bucks and indulge in the power game (murders/terrorism), with little or no trace of decency unlike in other developed countries where code of conduct is adhered to at all times.

Even I keep fighting for people's rights in public places and I do get dirty glances from fellow citizens who think I am making much a do about nothing coz they are prepared to let go . After all he (Multiplex Manager who advertises the show, but will not show the 4.00 pm show)is only doing what he has been asked to. I was fighting for us all 22 people who had read the newspaper and come to see the movies. But he wont have the show. His excuse was that the ad in the newspaper was not given by him, it was the distributor's ad, and there was no movie print to show. There were about 6-8 students who had come from Singhagad university in a shared rickshaw to see the Oscar winner 'Milk' My fight was that the the multiplex management should either run the movie or atleastbreimburse transport cost to the students (some 380 Rupees) and refund our parking lot tickets (Rs20 each for 8 of us).
Finally, the students got it, and hopefully learnt to fight for their rights against wrong. We still keep in touch with each other- all 22 of us.

I wish our judiciary was better. This system sucks - it is like a eunuch, neither here nor there.

Hopefully more people like Meera Sanyal gettig into the power balcony, will make a big difference. I am prepared to wait for that gestaion time.

Another department that needs a whip is the media. TV channels are going nuts playing dirty games live and the public is taking it all in.

Hoping that Malwani crab has given a great boost to your apetite, and that Meera Sanyal does'nt turn out to be a damp squib, here's leaving you to deal with stuff until the next blog with asli assessment and the real dinner menu...!!!

Theyoginme said...

Introspection - do you have a blog yourself? How many comments do you get out of interest? Whether Shobhaa gets one comment or 10, or 50, this is her personal space to express herself un-edited in her own way, as our most bloggers... Kudos to you for doing something constructive with respect to public rights, but I don't see why you need to attack constructive!

introspection said...

@ Theyoginme - It is SHOBHAA's personal space I agree, and she is open to comments from all her readers (read 'me' included). I am entitled to write my opinions. In my opinion just because some one does'nt suck up (to her) does'nt mean they wanna ATTACK Shobhaa.

Since this is where she writes with her heart, we comment with ours: good and bad.

honestinjun said...

Completely agree. The man is definitely not happening. Somebody should alter his script. All that jazz about the need for his sister to change her surname after marriage and now this drivel about wife in kitchen...does not make him leadership material at all. He should just stick to acting. No 'Circuits' for him in politics, I guess!

Floyd said...

Hey Shobha , dont exert too much .. you are really right about the crap sanjay dutt talks .. hes just a mcp!

Mayank said...

Hi Shobha ,
Just want to update you that Mrs Sanyal is on a Sabbatical leave she is still a part of ABN AMRO.
you might not read this but i am happy that you are taking some good issues through your Blog,Keep it up and cheers JAI HO

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