Monday, April 13, 2009

Lafdas, lafdas everywhere....

Guys, this appeared in Bombay Times today. I have been feeling uncharacteristically lethargic. Let's blame it on the heat. Or maybe I am just missing my daughter Arundhati desperately. I've been watching the news on television but not really connecting. It all sounds depressingly phoney - sanctimonious politicians recycling tired thoughts. The ads are worse. The one I find very offensive shows a little 'chasmis' girl asking her father, " Dad, am I pretty?" He assures her she is. Cut to a classroom where she is being royally ignored - till her Dad drives up in a brand new car, and the little girl's low self- esteem soars skywards!! What are we saying through such communication to our children??? Talk about pushing blatant materialism in these recessionary times. Just awful.

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( White ) Ants in my pants….!!

Hritik Roshan deserves an international award for originality! Wow!!What an excuse – white ants. Termites! What’s next? Cockroaches and lizards?? Whether or not his marriage is on the rocks, let’s hand it to him for coming up with an amazing explanation as to why his wife and kids had moved out – but not exactly moved on. Explained the couple, “ Our flat needed treatment for white ants.” So urgent was this treatment that nobody bothered to inform the man of the house, who happened to be overseas and was forced to rush back from a foreign location to deal with the emergency– the ants. The crisis was so critical that he and his worried wife spent the entire night talking about it. By the next morning, the problem had been amicably resolved ( the ants must have co-operated), for the couple to issue a joint statement and claim they were enjoying a ‘picnic’ with the kids and in-laws. The ants were clearly not invited to this happy event. As always, they also had a ‘good laugh’ over the nasty rumours and found them ‘ most funny’ ( zero originality ,here). The family is very much together, and blissfully happy. So there!
Unfortunately, one of the downsides of stardom is the pact you make with the devil (media!). Privacy goes out of the window once you opt for showbiz, and every gesture is scrutinized, like it or not. Deal with it, guys. This is the transaction you make when you voluntarily jump into the fishing bowl. It is no use claiming later that this wasn’t what you’d bargained for. The perverse logic of star arguments is that they want the media to play ball when it suits them and on their terms. Right now, with the on-going multiplex crisis, the main players will make themselves readily available to presswallas and pose happily for cosy pictures (Srk- Aamir), quite forgetting old animosities. Similarly, a complete non-entity called Amrita Arora will provide the most intimate details of her wedding, to friends in the media – and then do a 360 degree turnaround if things go wrong later. Hritik has always been a pretty smart player, staying aloof and doing his thing quietly, while working hard at the ‘perfect family man’ image. Well…. things happen. They can happen to anyone. But nobody is interested in what happens to Mr. and Mrs. Joshi’s marriage. But everybody wants to know what wrecks a celeb –shaadi. Look at the trouble Brad Pitt is in!! I mean, come on…. it’s Brad Pitt. And Jolie is giving the man absolute hell for a whole lot of misdemeanours – like giving the nanny a back massage, and more recently, setting up a lunch date with his ex. Pitt actually gets slapped around and yelled at by Jolie! All this is reported in vivid detail by world media. That’s a star’s life – take it or leave it. Maybe Pitt should call Roshan and get a few tips from him. From white ants to white lies – it’s all a part of the game.

‘Mera Joota Hai Japani…” could soon become the favourite song of protestors across India. There will be many more shoes getting hurled at netas as D-Day draws near. We are a nation of copy cats. Worse, a lot of media mad people have realized the easiest way to make it on national television is to indulge in an outrageous act. Chappal throwing is not new to our culture. Parliamentarians are experts at the sport. But ever since Jarnail Singh hit the headlines with his shoe attack on Chidambaram, an epidemic has followed, with Naveen Jindal being the newest victim. By the time we are done, there will be many more shoe attacks, I guarantee you.In fact, second hand shoe dealers in Chor Bazaar have been stocking up in anticipation of the demand and have reported brisk sales. Perhaps our netas should arm themselves with beach umbrellas to ward off future attacks??

Sachin Tendulkar wearing blue cosmetic lenses? Sporting a trendy, spiked haircut? Wearing a mawali-style checked scarf? And displaying loads of attitude?? Why not, boss?? The entertainment show is about to begin, and anything to grab those eyeballs. I liked the Mumbai Indians’ ad. The team looks menacing. Now let’s hope the performance to follow is equally impressive.With so much money riding on it, the IPL had better provide a big bang for the buck – or else – khallas!!
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Please educate me : Why would any political candidate want to be endorsed by a gangster called Arun Gawli?? Any answers??

32 comments:

Anon said...

That gagging sound you here is me trying valiantly not to retch at the inane duplicity of some celebs! How daft do they think the public is?? Seriously people grow up the media is here to stay. You can't turn them on & off whenever you want to. If you want to use the media for your benefit (leaked info etc) then you just have to accept that the media will also use you by printing a juicy story even if you don't like it!

Shobhaa on another note hope you get to see your daughter soon because as a daughter I can tell you we miss our mums about as much (maybe a wee bit less but wee) as they miss us!

narendra shenoy said...

Hahaha! Enjoyed this post!

Theyoginme said...

Shobhaa, if you are physically tired you can try some yoga poses such as a handstand on the wall or a backbend.

For mental fatigue forward bends like janusirsasana and sarvangasana/halasana - ending with a nice chest opening type long shavasana. For your shoulder, one trick works really well, when sitting or standing roll your shoulders back and lift your sternum, to open your chest, while pulling your shoulder blades down. It should relax your shoulders. Lifting of the chest needs to come from the sides of your lower ribs, not puffing the upper chest...

Missing your daughter - I can completely relate to that - and yes its not just moms who miss their kids.

These ads can get ugly - are they political ads, or just commercial? You should see the negative ads the american politicians resort to... ekdum crap.. you get sick of it. And the amount of money they burn runs into millioins even for a local Senate campaign - the winner this time (someone I supported) is now trying to get his debt forgiven, by raising more money.

In this country they have legitimized the corruption by instituting laws on money raising and also the whole lobbyist dhanda. That will never go away... Hillary is sending me emails every day offering door prizes, such as a lunch with her and Bill, if I donate to her old campaign to retire her debt of millions of dollars.

At least the common person in this country has avenues to have his or her voice heard. I am going to a hearing in the Oregon Legislature next week for an important parents and childrens rights issue, finally after years of failed efforts it has got an ear. Driven entirely by two folks including me, plus an unpaid lobbyist who is doing it for the sake of justice. You need strong committed lobbyist, whether someone in the press, or someone in the political scene to bring change in or keep the fire to the feet. Otherwise you see what you see in India - status quo, illiterate gangsters and criminals taking control to self serve.

cmpershad said...

First of all, congrats for crossing the 700th mark of followers.
> Was Rithik worried about white ants or aunts????:)
>Lastly, "want to be endorsed by a gangster called Arun Gawli?? "
Simple, to invite Dawood to take charge of Indian politics :)

ruby said...

lets put it dis way...."which 'sensible',educated(mind u,dats reely imp) political candidate wd want to be endorsed by Mr.Gawli...??
wat say!

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

To set an example.
Waiting for results.
:)

kala said...

After serious blogs, this one by you is absolutely enjoyable. Loved it. White ants, white ladies, white lies. It is nice to know Jolie is no different from any of us in reacting to a wayward husband. Most Political candidates are either gangsters themselves or endorsed by gangsters. Politics and elections are the IPL but bigger and more media friendly. What have you to say about the great manifesto by the redoubtable SP?

Rahul Viswanath said...

Just loved it !!!

Those who think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colourblind ........

Black or White ... Hritik ant is getting bigger n bigger ....

SSQuo said...

Did he really use white ants as an excuse?? Wow! I think his PR people have clearly been bribed by the ants, I guess they need the publicity, coz I see no other sensible reason.

Gajendra said...

@the arun gawli part: Very simple shobhaa, its symbolic of the grand indian tamasha.

@the hrithik roshan part: lets discuss something serious please..!!

@the stupid ad: again, my authoritarianism idea may work here, right ??

IcE MaiDeN said...

lolz lolz lolz.. i read abt the white ants too.. one couple i thought was goin to be together forever.. tsk tsk. :(

well.. neway.. d ads are goin worse by each passing day.. wht has interested me lately are the election ads.., ugg!! wish they spent all dat money on ACTUALLY doin somethng.. !!!

cheers,
Annie

Roshni said...

Enjoyed this post,a humorous take on celebrities worldwide.
Yesterday night I was intimidated by the news of murder of a Jaunpur candidate.In one of your earlier posts you had mentioned that it is going to be a very violent elections ofour times.Hope that this does not comes true.

omsherryom said...

@Arun Gawli - every media-fied gangster has a tinge of robinhood-ness to him. He has a constituency that would like to see him in action. Whether or not they translate into vote but they surely create buzz for the candidate....

introspection said...

Hi guys, I am here after a few days gap.
I am with shobhaa abt missing her daughter. I am missing too; and hopefully will make a trip (NYC & SFO) soon. It gets to you some times.

The ad scene ? Well, materialism & consumerism have over taken our country's culture in many ways. Showing off your car is a 'given', but vulgar display of iphones, laptops and gadgets are finding their way into day to day social lives of teenagers and young executives all over. Media again is the culprit. They highlight non issues as news worthy. Where can the youth go from here?
I dont think white ant business of Hritik Roshan needs so much to be written about. Definitely not for blog readers category. Atleast in my opinion.
Brad Pitt's is a different story. Jolie is Jolie, and Pitt is him...!!
The less said about the joota (not you also about japani thing pls..! give us a break)the better it is. 1 billion people talking abt joota is enough. Why does the herd instinct rub on everyone? Wasting bytes and TV footage, and newsprint. It's crazy. Soon we'll have neta's giving bhashan on jootas. sic..!
I refuse to comment on Arun Gawli.

Madhavan said...

Answer to your question in the bottom of your post.....

Bottomline for any political candidate is Vote, If he can get some vote,why not?...If you still expect accountablity with most of our politicians what can I say De, you are ignorant

Have a nice day.

Mayank said...

Hi De,
Candidates can go to any extent for votes here in India.But people are showing their discontent in form of hurling Shoes the ways these politician has handled one or the other issues is really disheartning,Salmaan Khan u can say is man for all parties he is asking votes for congress,for BJP,for Praful Patel,for everyone ,what will you say abt these type of people.
Really need a break from these Politician.De whom do you want to lead India in Future:
Batao Batao:)
Thank you
Mayank

*Aham* said...

come come arundhati,,
mummy tere liye hai rukhi...
without you mummy ho gayee dukhi...
woh abhi abhich blog mein likhi...
come come arundhati...


see, i have sent my poetic sandesh to her. She will come running to meet my blogdost.

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why milind deora asked for Arun Gawli ka support... ? numbers.. just numbers... sab number ka khel hai.

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you know people at times love to make a devil out of the media. Not altimes is there smoke without fire. Suzanne must have gone to her Mayka many times before... never did it become Sansani Khabar... why now? point to ponder na.

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Amrita Arora, kaun??? achaa that girls sister na... who is seen cutting ribbons everywhere...
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media is something that they consciously get into and once they do, they do need to be aware that everything they do will be reported by the media and their relations will be microscopically examined. And thats the prize that they pay for their stardom.

I recently wrote something against Sallu Bhai as my facebook status message... and from everywhere I started getting emails and comments accusing me of targetting him because he is a celeb.

Christine said...

Hi Shobhaa, this piece was hilarious- I fell off my chair laughing when I read how you've compared the white ants to "ants in his pants"lol... good one!well, from what I recall ".."the pant ants"have just resurfaced again..I recall you breaking the bhanda on the kareena-hrithik affair on the eve of his marriage.Old habits die hard :-)

kala said...

Arun Gawli imposed himself on Milind Deora. I will give benefit of doubt to Deora in this case. Sallu capaigning. Well, election commission says criminals can campaign, not contest. In elections and business everything is fair. If candidates adopt touch me not attitude, well the other party will make it merrily. Even Krishna played dirty with Karna and Rama did it with Bali. Same thing goes for the Ambanis. If they had been scrupulously clean, they would not have been featuring in Forbes list continuously. Only communism, dictatorship can give solutions to such problems. But they have their own loopholes. We need people like Narayanamurthy and Sudhamurthy who are sensitive to the common man's problems. They may not be savvy but they are diamonds.

kala said...

Between Arun Gawli and Amarsingh, whom do you prefer? Actually, what is the difference between them?

Kedar said...

As always, entertainingly ant-iseptic!:D

Anorak said...

crime is an in thing now...if you don't have some forgery, some murder and some other cases in your profile nobody takes you seriously....especially when you are contesting an elections it becomes all the more important....and when on one hand, stars like Sanjay Dutt, who almost run the elections and salman Khan, with such good criminal background can campaign for politicians or can think of even becoming one....why should any one lag behind....Bring Arun gawli on the stage....lets spice up the Great Indian Political Drama ... The show must go on....keep walking!!!

Mister Crowley said...

Re: chappal throwing. You missed out on Supreme Court judges. One got a sandal thrown at him a couple of weeks ago. In open court too. Hilarious it was.

rt said...

I wasnt aware that you DO have a blog!! Oops very poor GK i guess...
I am happy that now I can get to read more of your writings than just in STOI..
No Comments abt the post..all has been said earlier by the earier commnetors!

ranjith said...

Ummm... haaa... ahemm.. Ok

Guys who can commit crime at their will(criminals in short) get money ---> politicians need money, to get more money.

and yepp, we guys are copying a lot.. Chappal throwing from the Geroge W.Bush incident and then reality shows with a fight or an argument scene every episode from America..

Shachi said...

Enjoyed this post :) white ants and white lies.....if you are a celebrity, you got to know how to play ur cards well..

Rajlakshmi said...

with stardom goes privacy....
Endorsed by Mr Gawli!!! just proves what a joke Indian Politics is ...

St said...

About the alleged Hritik Roshan/Barbara Mori liaison - it just seems like a big publicity stunt for their upcoming movie KITES!!! Its an old trick and it still works....

Amita said...

Nice post. How come you missed out Adnan Sami?

athi said...

Wow.. awesome read.Your write ups are definite paisa wasool!!

amrita arora who? :P

If Jolie slapping Pitt roumors are true, he deserves it. Jen is definitely having the last laugh!! :P

Aham, Sallu bhai se bach ke rahio! :D

MNC said...

hey, whats wrong with that car ad? Whats wrong in communicating materialism to our children? isnt it the reality? or should we tell the child to aim at maruti 800? common shobaa de the saint? or the socialite ? i dont buy this view of your. but had a good read, would come back for more.cheers:))

MJ said...

i so agree with your views on that preposterous car advertisement. what kind of signals are we sending to the young minds? does the society only acknowledge those who are materialistically superior? i feel that the ad should be withdrawn immediately. it is not wrong to have materialistic aspirations but to advocate that only such "inanimate objects" can raise our status in society is unacceptable. the basic premise of the ad is morally wrong- a not so attractive child can raise the curiousity of her classmates by roaming in a hep car- is that all she has to offer- utterly disgusting.