I couldn't bear to read the papers this morning. Nor watch television. Gulping tea became a major effort. It was the picture on the front page of the Times of India that completely destroyed me.Two fruitsellers lay dead near their cart in Ahemedabad. Innocent victims of yet another senseless terrorist attack on civilians.Bangalore was reeling. Now it was Ahemedabad. I fear it may be Pune next - only because it is yet another city that is rapidly growing and attracting world professionals to its IT hub. Theories in retrospect are all very well - that it is the BJP states being targeted etc. But where were our intelligence agencies all this while? Such attacks require meticulous planning. They don't happen spontaneously. It is an amazing failure on the part of the counter terrorist cells that massive strikes in two big cities , took place with such ease. It is always the poor who pay the price - as those defenceless fruitsellers did. Nothing ever happens to the powerful and wealthy. And one wonders at the perversity\cruelty of those devils who strike against harmless, ordinary folk, who have nothing to do with jihads. God rest their souls in peace.
Ironically enough, the same paper carried stories on pole dancing as the latest ftness routine.And the juxta positioning of the reports made the absurdity of our existence that much more ludicrous. The gloomy weather added to the overall depression.I cannot get the image of the dead fruitsellers out of my mind. I feel helpless. I feel enraged. I feel sad. Even more scarily, I feel like hitting back - this is an alien, entirely new response to terror in our midst. And it disturbs me. I am a non-violent person. I can't deal with these stirrings within my heart. They make me feel no better than 'them' - the faceless cowards doing this to 'us'.God help me. And others like me - peace loving individuals pushed to the brink and saying, ''We've had enough." Tell me - are my current emotions understandable? Are you also similarly driven by a sense of revulsion, rage and revenge? How do you cope? I am entirely thrown.... disoriented.... miserable